"You didn't kill her, Menolly. You saved her from death—at least the kind of death humans don't usually get up and walk away from."
"I just don't know what's happening to me." I stared at the little calico girl curled in my arms and chucked her under the chin, kissing her softly on the nose before I set her back in her playpen.
Iris frowned. "Sometimes people come into our lives for a reason, and when that reason is done—they leave. Rest your worries for now. Don't force yourself to make decisions you aren't ready to make."
I thought about Nerissa. Her skin had been tender, her touch healing. And Jareth—long ago, he'd loved a vampire. I'd given him a taste of that memory to cling to even as he gifted me his blood.
"Once Camille asked me if vampires dream. I gave her a simple answer to a complex question. Now I have a question. Can vampires love? Can I love? Have relationships like my sisters?" I waited, but no answer appeared, not even a whisper, to guide me.
"Menolly, you're not the same girl who stood in this kitchen last week." Iris pushed herself off the stool and started arranging cookies on a plate. "You've been through so much. How can you expect to know who you are or what you're capable of until the dust settles?"
"I guess I can't." I shook my head. "Dredge made me fear ever loving anybody again—from the beginning he tried to use me to destroy my family."
"And now he's gone. And you're still here," she said, her eyes glittering.
"Yes, he's gone. And I'm here. But what does that mean?" I asked softly.
Iris dusted her hands on her apron. "The world could end tonight, my girl. Deal with your fears one at a time, if and when they arise."
And then everything was okay again, and I laughed, feeling lighter than I had since the day of my death. "First light's coming, sweet friend. I'll see you tonight."
"Be at peace in your dreams." Iris waved as I slipped through the passage to my lair.
As I undressed for bed, I glanced down at the scars lacing my body. Dredge had marked me forever, but he was gone. Dust and ashes. My sisters and friends were safe. Like it or not, I had sired a daughter. And I'd received the greatest gift in the world—I was free, my nightmare shattered.