"What?" I demanded. "No threats? No I'm-gonna-get-you-sucka? Come on, get your big-girl panties on already."
"You're trying to trick me," it said.
"Not really. I don't have to trick you. You're going to trick yourself right out of existence; you can count on that."
"I'm going to destroy you."
"News flash: You made me. When you consumed my memory you created an imbalance of energy, and we know that energy has to go somewhere. Right? It's all balance. And what you gave me back was a chance to survive." I'd figured that out a while ago, but it still hurt to say it; the last thing I wanted to do was owe my existence to this creature. This land shark. "If you want to get rid of me, you're going to have to work a hell of a lot harder."
That pushed a button. A big, red, nuclear launch button. "I will!" it screamed, and there was nothing human about that sound, or about the raw will behind it.
I rolled my eyes. "Whatever. Is that why you keep using people to do your dirty work? Kevin? Cherise? David? And believe me, you're going to pay for putting your dirty little hands on David. Big-time." I made a show of checking a watch I didn't actually have on my wrist. "You know what? Drama period's over. See you around the schoolyard, E.T."
It was a risk, but I thought I could do it, and I did... I turned around and zipped along the path of lights, through the dilapidated, sad halls of Kevin's mind, all the way to the light at the end of the tunnel.
Out.
When I opened my eyes, I was standing right where I'd been, and Kevin had his head down on the table. He was breathing, but unconscious.
I put my hand on his head again, this time just to gently stroke his greasy, matted hair. "Not everything is a tragedy, Kev," I said. "Come on. Wake up now. Nightmare's over."
He did, lifting his head and blinking like a kid coming out of a long, difficult sleep. He stared blankly for a few seconds, then focused on my face.
"Did you get it?" he asked. He didn't seem bothered by the fact that I was stroking his hair. I didn't stop.
"Got it," I said. "Good job, man. Thank you."
He ducked his head, and I saw a dull flush build in his sallow cheeks.
"Kevin," I said. "What happened to Cherise wasn't your fault."
Cherise looked startled, and mouthed, Me?
She didn't remember.
Ah, the beauty of the human mind; I wasn't sure if that was her own doing or Lewis's; maybe he'd taken the bad memories away. Either way, I was glad.
"You know what I remember?" I asked. "I remember you going after the first enemy you found back in the forest. I remember you risking your life to even the score when you thought Cherise was dead, and Lewis and I had killed her. I remember the look on your face when you realized she was still alive." I looked straight at Cherise, who was a little flushed now, too. "He needs you," I said. "And you need him, too, right?" She nodded. "Better tell him, then," I said. "And Kevin? In case you're wondering, that's the reason you're going to want to live through this."
I pushed through the kitchen door and went through the empty library, back into the large common room where the fire blazed. My own reasons for living were gathered near the warmth. David looked up, smiling. Lewis raised the coffee cup to his lips without comment. The rest of them, including Paul, waited for me to speak.
"The Demon wants to go home, or at least reach home," I said. "Lewis. If I were going to choose a place where the veil that separates our world from hers is the thinnest, where would I go?"
He put his coffee down, leaned forward, and thought about it for a second. He exchanged a look with David, who frowned, and together they both said, "Seacasket."
I blinked. "You've got to be kidding."
If I'd hated the helicopter flight, I loathed the plane ride cross-country. But, given the time ticking away, not to mention the stakes, I thought I'd better suck it up, take the Dramamine, and try to avoid wincing every time the plane hit a wind shear, which was about, oh, every thirty seconds, give or take.
The Wardens had a corporate jet. Who knew? Apparently I now had the authority to commandeer it, or so Lewis told me once we were strapped in. "Shouldn't there be, like, paperwork?" I asked, and snugged my seat belt tight. "At least a signature card for that sort of thing? For security?"
Lewis had his eyes shut even before takeoff. "Trust me. If we live through this, you'll have enough paperwork to keep you in ink stains for the rest of your life." He paused for a few seconds, then said, "How sure are you about this?"
"Any of it? On a scale of one to ten? About a three." That was probably more honesty than he was looking for, I was guessing, from the pained expression that flickered over his face. "Look, when I was taking on Kevin's memories, I took on some of hers, too. More than that, I felt her...well, I can't really call them emotions. But there's a sense to it I really can't describe. I know that in the beginning her only goal was to go home-it's almost like a spawning thing for them. Even though her motivations have gotten more complicated, she still has that instinct."
"Then why do you think she was wasting her time with trying to take over your life?" he asked, and then looked instantly sorry he'd said that. "Not that your life isn't important or valuable..."
"Yeah, nice save. The thing is, I don't think becoming me was an end in itself. It was all about the Wardens. Think about it: Get enough Wardens together, set them to one common task, and you can get a massive buildup of power. Something she could use to rip a hole from this world into her own."
He looked ill, and I didn't think it was airsickness. "I would have helped her do it," he said. "We were talking about ways to reorganize the Wardens, concentrate their power. Nobody would have questioned her."
"It's not your fault."
"Sure it is," Lewis said, and closed his eyes. "I'm going to take a nap while I still can."
"How can you possibly sleep while..."
He switched himself off, pretty much just like that. I stayed put through the teeth-rattling jounces, and tried to pretend that I didn't hate flying at a cellular level. Lewis really was asleep. I hated him.
Now that we were safely in the air-if that was the right term-we were free to take our lives in our hands and move about the cabin. I unbuckled and made my way through the small, cramped area toward the back. Kevin and Cherise were sitting together, heads close, whispering; they looked up at me, and Cherise winked and offered a thumbs-up. I weakly returned it, crushing the back of Paul's seat in a death grip as the plane dipped and dropped unexpectedly, and he broke off his conversation with Marion to ask me if I was all right. I decided it was better not to lie, so I just smiled palely and kept going.
David was sitting alone at the back of the plane. He hadn't bothered with anything so superfluous as a seat belt, of course. He, like Lewis, seemed perfectly calm, and he was reading a paperback novel, one that looked vaguely familiar to me. Lonesome Dove. Larry McMurtry.
I dropped into the seat beside him and whimpered under my breath as our fragile flying machine sledded from one punishing draft to another. He closed his book and took my hand.
"Have we done this before?" I asked.
"Flown in a plane together? No. Mostly we drive."
"Mostly I understand why." I gulped and tried to relax. "So, you want to tell me about Seacasket?"