'I know. So now put up with it.'
'All my life?'
'Yes. It will be a long one, but you'll never get over this. You'll never stop asking yourself if every step you make is the right one.'
CHAPTER 3
MAXIM DIDN'T like restaurants. That was just his character. He felt far more comfortable and relaxed in bars and clubs, even the more expensive ones, as long as they weren't too stiff" and formal. Of course, there were some people who always behaved like red commissars negotiating with the bourgeoisie, even in the most upmarket restaurants: no manners and no wish to learn any. But then who did all those New Russians in the jokes have to model themselves on?
Last night had to be smoothed over somehow, though. His wife had either believed his story about an 'important business meeting' or at least pretended that she did. But he was still suffering vague pangs of conscience. If only she knew. If she could only imagine who he really was and what it was he did.
Maxim couldn't say anything, so he had no choice but to make amends for his absence the previous night by using the same methods as any decent man after a little affair. Presents, pampering, an evening out. For instance, at a posh restaurant with exotic cuisine, foreign waiters, elegant decor and an extensive wine list.
Maxim wondered if Elena really thought he'd been unfaithful to her the night before. The question intrigued him, but not enough for him to ask it out loud. There are always some things that have to be left unsaid. Maybe some day she'd learn the truth. And then she'd be proud of him.
But his hopes on that score were probably in vain – he realised that. In a world full of the creatures of Malice and Darkness, he was the only knight of Light, eternally alone, unable to share with anyone the truth that was occasionally revealed to him. At the beginning, Maxim had still hoped to meet someone else like him: a sighted man in the kingdom of the blind, a shepherd who could sniff out the wolves in sheep's clothing from among the heedless herd.
But there wasn't anyone. He had no one to stand beside him.
Even so, he hadn't despaired.
'Do you think this is worth trying?'
Maxim glanced down at the menu. He didn't know what malai kqfta was. But that had never prevented him from making decisions. And in any case, the ingredients were listed.
'Yes, try it. Meat with a cream sauce.'
'Beef?'
He didn't realise straight away that Elena was joking. Then he smiled back at her.
'Definitely.'
'And what if I do order something with beef?'
'Then they'll refuse politely,' said Maxim. Keeping his wife amused wasn't so difficult. He actually rather enjoyed it. But right now he would really like to take a look round the room. Something here wasn't right. He could sense a strange, cold draught blowing through the semi-darkness at his back; it made him screw up his eyes and keep looking, looking . . .
Could it really be?
The gap between his missions was usually at least a few months, maybe six. Nothing had ever come up the very next day . . .
But the symptoms were only too familiar.
Maxim reached into his inside jacket pocket, as if he was checking his wallet. What he was really concerned about was something else – the little wooden dagger, carved artlessly but with great care. It was a simple whittled weapon he'd played with as a child, without understanding what it was for at the time, thinking it was just a toy.
The dagger was waiting.
But who for?
'Max?' There was a note of reproach in Elena's voice. 'You're off in the clouds again.'
They clinked glasses. It was a bad sign for husband and wife to do that, it meant there'd be no money in the family. But Maxim wasn't superstitious.
Who was it?
At first he suspected two girls. Both attractive, even beautiful, but each in her own way. The shorter one with dark hair, who moved in a slightly angular fashion, like a man, was overflowing with energy. She positively oozed sex. The other one, the blonde, was taller, more calm and restrained. And her beauty was quite different, soothing.
Maxim felt his wife watching him and looked away.
'Lesbians,' his wife said disdainfully.
'What?'
'Well, just look at them! The small dark-haired one in jeans is totally butch.'
So she was. Maxim nodded and assumed an appropriate expression.
Not them. Not them, after all. But who was it then?
A mobile phone rang in the corner of the room and a dozen people automatically reached for their phones. Maxim located the source of the sound and caught his breath.
The man talking into the phone in rapid, quiet bursts was not simply Evil. He was enveloped in a black shroud that other people couldn't see, though Maxim could sense it.
The draught was coming from him, it smelled of danger, appalling danger, coming closer.
Maxim felt a sudden ache in his chest.
'You know what, Elena, I'd like to live on a desert island,' he blurted out before he realised what he was saying.
'Alone?'
'With you and the children. But no one else. Not a soul.'
He gulped down the rest of his wine and the waiter immediately refilled his glass.
'I wouldn't like that,' his wife said.
'I know.'
The dagger felt heavy and hot in his pocket now. The mounting excitement was acute, almost sexual. It demanded release.
'Do you remember Edgar Allen Poe?' Svetlana asked.
They'd let us in without any fuss. I hadn't been expecting that – the rules in restaurants must have changed, become more democratic, or maybe they were just short of customers.