I suddenly felt every bump and bruise I had, and I ached all over. Yes, the Saghred had kept that Reaper at bay, but if Tam hadn’t used me to bottle that Volghul, I wouldn’t be alive to feel aches and pains. I didn’t like being used, but it had been for a good cause. A lot of people were alive because of what Tam had done.
“Thank you.” My voice sounded as beat as the rest of me.
Tam’s warily arched an eyebrow. “For what?”
“For offering me a place to stay, for seeing through my eyes, showing me what I needed to do, and keeping me, Piaras, and Talon from getting ripped apart. I didn’t like how you did it, and I don’t like what’s between us, but it beats the alternative. I’m alive and, believe it or not, I am grateful.”
Tam smiled slowly, showing a hint of fang. “You’re welcome. I take it that means you’ve decided not to stab me today?”
I gave him a crooked grin. “Day ain’t over yet.”
“I’ll bear that in mind.”
“And the way my luck’s running, with our bond, if I stab you, I’ll stab myself. I’d rather not do that.” I crossed my arms. “And by the way, you still haven’t answered my first question. When were you going to tell me about our bond?”
“After we bottled that Volghul, I was coming to get Talon—and you. I ran into the Guardians escorting Talon home; they told me you were at watcher headquarters—and that Mychael was there. I knew you were safe.” A bad-boy sparkle lit his black eyes. “And after what I did with you this morning, I knew you’d come after me.”
“Did you get the treat of seeing what happened while I was there?”
“Just the fight—Carnades, the Dagiks, and a Wollek. You were scared, so I could see what you did.”
“A Wollek?”
“The yellow demon.”
I sighed. Why couldn’t everyone just call the damned things by their colors?
“If you saw all that, then you know what the Saghred and I did right in front of Carnades.”
Tam glowered. “I saw. You should have let those Dagiks kill him.”
“On hindsight, that would have been the smart thing to do,” I admitted. “Problem is I’ve got this thing called a conscience that won’t let me stand by and watch someone get their throat ripped out if I can stop it.”
“Even if that someone is Carnades.”
“Yep, even him. I know. It’s a character flaw; I’m working on it.” I felt laughter bubbling up and gave in to it. “A demon tries to gum me to death, so I crush him like rotten fruit. Carnades wants me executed; there’s nothing between me and the Saghred but a closed containment room door; and a Reaper just tried to suck out a couple thousand souls, including mine. And to top it all off, I actually managed to stop the thing.”
Then there was what happened between Mychael and me. I think that should have scared me a lot more than it did. When we had touched, his power and mine had become one, and for the span of a few heartbeats, so were we. The memory of Mychael’s compelling voice resonated in my mind. Magic most potent. He could say that again.
Carnades knew Tam was a dark mage; he knew I was linked to the Saghred. I’d used its power today, unwillingly. But to men like Carnades, motive didn’t matter. The moment the Saghred had come in contact with me, I was tainted and had to be destroyed. Men like Carnades also didn’t give up until they got what they wanted.
Tam was speaking. “Raine, I think you should—”
“Find a hole and pull the dirt in after me?” I got out of that chair. I had to move, and keep moving. Running would feel really good right now.
“Raine, I—”
“Tam, I have so much power now, I scare me!” The panic I couldn’t give voice to in the tunnel suddenly lashed out like a whip. I leaned my head against the glass wall. My breath frosted the cool surface. “I scare me.” My voice was muffled by the glass and exhaustion.
One entire wall of Tam’s apartment was floor-to-ceiling glass overlooking Sirens’ theatre and stage below. Tam had the glass bespelled so he could see out, but no one could see in.
I heard the creak of leather as Tam came to stand directly behind me, the heat of his body warming me. Warm and nice. Except it wasn’t nice; it was dangerous. Don’t forget dangerous, Raine. Tam was dangerous to anyone who crossed his path, but mostly to me, especially now.
And I was dangerous to everyone, period.
Tam’s strong hands settled on my shoulders and gently pulled me back against him. I knew it was a bad idea, but I leaned into him anyway, my head resting on his chest. Just a minute or two wouldn’t do any harm. A little comforting never hurt anyone, and right now, I could use some.
Our reflections looked back at us out of the glass.
I watched Tam’s hands slide from my shoulders to my arms. His hands were deliciously warm. My numerous brushes with death today had left me shivering—and not just from cold.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered. Those two words said everything, but told me nothing.
Tam could be sorry for any number of things: the bond that linked us, using me to cram that demon into a bottle, me being accused of practicing black magic, or even the crap heap my life had become thanks to the Saghred. But it didn’t tell me what I could do about any of them. The only thing I wanted more than to run was to do something, anything to find a way out of all of this.
Tam wrapped his arms around me, pulling me closer, his head bowed, hair falling in a silken curtain around us. The side of his face softly brushed against mine, like a cat—a big, dangerous cat. A shiver ran through me. This was about to go beyond comforting.
My heart sped up, and not just from Tam’s touch and his scent of fire-heated spices, of cinnamon and cloves. Getting within arms’ reach of Tam had always been risky; the kind of risk where your clothes somehow ended up on the floor. Now risk had turned to danger. Thanks to our bond, we were as intimate as two people could be and still keep their clothes on. The Saghred had forged our bond.
The rock never did anything without a reason—and no wards held it now.
I swallowed hard. “Tam, no.”
“Raine, I would never hurt you.” Tam’s voice was a husky whisper against my ear. It was the whisper of a man torn between what he wanted and the knowledge that what he wanted could ultimately destroy him. Tam wanted me. Tam’s black magic wanted the Saghred. Deep down, he knew it. He knew it and he didn’t care—or he couldn’t stop himself.
In one swift, smooth move, Tam turned me to face him. I didn’t fight him; I needed to see his eyes, to see if Tam was the only one home in there. I looked up into twin pools in a midnight forest. Not the solid black orbs that they’d been under the embassy, no black magic glittering there, just desire. A woman could drown in those pools. I could drown in those pools. But if I did, I’d drag Tam under with me. It might not be tonight, but it would happen. The Saghred would see to it.
“No, Tam,” I said quietly. “I’m the one who would hurt you.”
His heart pounded beneath my hands as he pulled me tight against him, his body hard against mine, his breath warm against the tip of my ear. I expected his lips next, followed by a nibble of fang. Neither happened. We stood there, not moving, not speaking, not safe. Definitely not safe. And we both knew it.
Tam pulled back just enough to gaze down at me. “It won’t happen yet.” His denial was murmured on the barest breath. He bent his head, his lips poised above mine. “Not yet.”
I didn’t stop him, and I should have.
Tam’s kiss was a brush of featherlight silk, tentative, cautious; but his breathing had taken on a ragged edge—for me and for the power that had slowed to a soft pulse inside of me, anticipating, waiting. The touch of his lips quickened that pulse, and my breath along with it. Suddenly I was returning his kiss, my mouth pressing insistently against his, my tongue touching the smooth sharpness of his fangs. Tam shivered at the contact, and his breath came in a quick hiss as his long fingers gripped my hair, holding my head still as he kissed me hard and deep, devouring. His other hand left my waist to explore other places. I heard a soft groan; I think it was me. A slim slice of my consciousness knew it was more than me, more than Tam.
Stop this, Raine. Stop it now.
I couldn’t.
My hands took on a life of their own, sliding from Tam’s chest to his throat. I lingered there, my fingers resting against the vulnerable pulse point, feeling it quicken and throb at my touch. Tam’s arms tightened around me, and suddenly my feet weren’t touching the floor.
This was more than sensation, more than Tam and me. Magic curled in a sensuous swirl of heat through my belly and lower, along my skin and through my mind, and I saw Tam and I pressed together as if I were standing outside my body, a witness to passion that I had no control over. Tam’s magic answered mine, his power responding, transforming those swirls into living vines, touching, entangling.
Binding.
Heat flared in the center of my chest, awake and eager, and I came back to myself, passion turned to panic.
I wasn’t across the room; I was clenched tightly in Tam’s arms. Our lips parted and we froze, pressed together, breathing fast, our hearts beating faster. Inside of me, the Saghred’s burn went from an exultant blaze to a triumphant smolder.
The rock had just given Tam a sample of the ultimate fix and a taste of me along with it. For a recovering addict, it could be damnation. Tam might be willing to risk it; I wasn’t going to risk Tam or myself.
I got my hands between us and pushed hard against his chest. “Tam, let me go.”
I was panting, so was he. A shudder ran through his body and his hold on me loosened just enough that my feet touched the floor. I was ready to fight him if I had to, but Tam released me.
“I’m sorry,” he managed between breaths.
I pulled air into my lungs, trying to clear my head, and took two steps back. I’d have retreated farther, but my back was against the glass wall. Tam made no move to come after me.