Around us, adversaries are getting up to return to training.
As I stand, I angle so close to him that I could kiss his cheek if I wanted. My lips brush his ear, and I feel the way his body shivers.
“This is why you’re stuck at Novice,” I say in a low voice, and I mean every word. “You won’t take risks.”
I walk away. Although I know he is staring after me, I do not look back.
“Hey, wait up,” I call to Mis.
Shaking her head, she slows down. “Don’t say I didn’t warn you. But maybe I should warn him. You’ll eat him alive.”
Eating means a feast. Suddenly I see a possible route to my father.
“Maybe I will.” I try to smile boldly but all I can manage is a grimace.
“He is good-looking. But his grandmother will find out and put a stop to it. You’ll be lucky to keep your place in the stable. I don’t see how you dare risk it.”
The family of General Esladas can be thrown away as easily as the shards of a broken cup. My life means nothing if I do nothing. I would rather die in the mines. But I can’t say that to her. I have to distract everyone so they think I’m involved in something that has nothing to do with my father.
I say, “Kal and I knew each other before I came here.”
She whistles. “You call Lord Kalliarkos Kal? Don’t tell me you’ve already—”
The practice bell interrupts her and we hurry to take our places in line. It takes every measure of will I have to pace through a short set of menageries: cat, jackal, and crane. I slog through the training with the other fledglings. If wool stuffed my head I would think more clearly. Everything ebbs and swells in a fog around me. I can’t keep my balance on Traps, and I miss my timing on Rivers. Tana blames my lapses on a lack of fitness so she assigns me to run laps around the court while the others train. Running I can manage: all I have to do is set one foot in front of the other in time to the pulsing agony in my heart.
When the meal bell rings I veer into Trees because that’s where the Novices are climbing under the supervision of Lord Thynos and Inarsis. Everyone else is taking off except Kalliarkos and Dusty, who are coming down the center pole. Dusty hits the ground first. The moment Kalliarkos drops he turns to stare at me in a way that causes Dusty, Inarsis, and his uncle to measure me as if expecting me to sprout monstrous pincers and four more limbs.
Thynos raises a hand. “Your grandmother is waiting, Kal.”
Kalliarkos doesn’t even look at him. He only looks at me. “I’ll be there when I get there, Uncle Thynos. Don’t wait.”
“Kal!” Thynos takes a step toward him.
But Inarsis snags Thynos’s arm and drags him away. Dusty coughs as if he’s got something stuck in his throat and follows them. The chatter of adversaries leaving the court and heading to wash up stirs over us like a gust of wind.
When we are fully alone Kalliarkos’s lips press to a thin line and his eyes cut with annoyance. For an uncomfortable moment he looks a little like Gargaron. “I’m sure it is understandable that you wish to see your father. But. You. Can’t.”
“I can if you’ll take me. You said the wedding feast would be at the villa on Sixthday night. That’s this evening. Surely you are going. Take me with you.”
“It’s forbidden. It’s dangerous. I can’t.”
“I can’t is what you tell yourself every time you face Rings.”
His eyes have a bright intensity, a window into his burning need. “It’s not the same thing.”
“It’s exactly the same thing. It’s why you won’t ever become a Challenger, because the first thing you see is what you can’t do instead of what you can do.” His face flushes, thick with hot blood as I goad him. “Maybe the army can make a man of you, Lord Kalliarkos. But I doubt it.”
There it is: the slack rope pulled taut, the gleam of defiance that wasn’t there before.
“How do you propose we manage it?” he demands, but even as he speaks I see his gaze shift past me toward an idea that has just occurred to him. He mutters, “No… yes… I could… it might work.…”
When he looks up, I know I have won.
“All right, then. But you have to meet me where I say, and do as I ask.” He sticks out a hand, palm up and open in the gesture of merchants everywhere.
I lay my palm flat atop his. My skin is cool, and his is hot.
Thus the deal is made.
After the meal everyone lies down in the heat of the day but I am too restless to sleep. If I close my eyes all I see is bricks sealing my family away.