"I trusted you!"
"I know. And I'm sorry. People will disappoint you, Gemma. The question to ask is whether you can learn to live with the disappointment and move on. I'm offering you a new world." I cannot live with it. "They were right to deny you. Eugenia Spence was right."
Her eyes flash. "Eugenia! You do not know what she has become, Gemma. She has been with the dark spirits all this time. How will you fight her if you must? You will need me in the time to come. I promise you that."
"You're trying to confuse me," I say.
"You cannot cross!" It's Asha's voice.
Pippa has rushed through the wall of water.
"Pip!" Felicity runs after her. Ann wavers for a moment but follows.
"What is happening?" Pippa asks.
Felicity raises her bow. "I've one arrow left."
"If you shoot me, I take with me all the secrets I know about the dark spirits and the Winterlands. You'll never know."
"Do you know how to use the magic to keep a spirit here and free?" Pippa asks uncertainly.
"Yes," Miss Moore says. "I can find a way to give you what you want. You will not have to cross over. You can stay here in the realms forever."
"She's lying, Pippa," I say.
But I see the aching desire in Pippa's eyes already. So does Miss Moore.
"I wouldn't have to leave you, Fee," Pippa says. Of Miss Moore she asks, "Will it hurt terribly much?"
"No. Not at all."
"And will I remain as I am?"
"Yes."
"Don't believe her, Pip." "What have you promised me, Gemma? I helped you and what have you done for me?"
She steps around the well and takes Miss Moore's hand."So we can be together, Fee. Just like before."
Felicity's hand wavers on the bow. The string loosens.
"Felicity, you know it can't be," I whisper.
"Shoot her," Ann whispers."Shoot Circe."
Felicity takes aim, but Pippa moves in front of Miss Moore, protecting her like a shield. I do not know what would happen to Pippa, a spirit, if she were to be killed inside the realms.
Felicity stands, muscles straining from the weight of the taut bow and the ruthless task. At last she lowers the bow. "I can't. I can't."
Pippa's smile is heartbreaking in its love. "Thank you, Fee," she says, running to embrace her.
I grab the bow and hold it fast. I'm not the shot Felicity is, and there is only one arrow.
Miss Moore holds Nell in her arms."I could offer Nell right now as a sacrifice. Join me, and I shall let her go peacefully."
"You've given me an impossible choice," I say.
"But it's a choice, nonetheless, which is more than you've given me."
Nell leans against Miss Moore like a lifeless doll. Whatever spark flashed in her eyes once is gone, buried beneath layers of pain. I can spare Nell, join with Miss Moore and share the Temple with her. Or I can watch her offer Nell to the creature and use that power to do as she pleases.
Nell turns her anguished eyes to me. Don't hesitate. . . .
I let go. Fleet and straight the arrow flies, piercing Nell Hawkins through the throat. With a small gasp, she slumps to the ground. As a sacrifice, she is useless now. Miss Moore looks up with a mix of fury and shock in her eyes."What have you done?"
"Now I have bloodied my hands," I say.
Miss Moore races for me. There is no time to follow the rules. I shall have to make new ones. Closing my eyes, I race forward toward the well. But Miss Moore is fast. She grabs hold of my hand. I'm caught off balance, and we fall together, arms locked in battle, into those great, eternal waters.
I can feel Miss Moore's breathing, hear the mad thumping of her heart as it discharges blood, that necessary messenger. Smell the faint scent of London chimney soot and lilac powder and something else. Beneath the skin, there is fear. Pain. Remorse. Yearning. Desire. A fierce longing for power. All of this. We are joined. It is as if we live in the center of a great storm. Around us the world of the realms revolves like a giant kaleidoscope, images refracted again and again. So many worlds! So much to know.
Yes, Miss Moore seems to say inside my head. So much you do not know.
I'm being stretched by it all. I can feel every bit of me spreading out till I am part of everything I see. I'm the leaf as it turns into a butterfly, and I'm the river polishing the stones on the bank. I'm the charwoman's hungry belly, the banker's vague disappointment with his children, the girl's yearning for excitement. I want to laugh and cry at the same time. It is so much, so much.