"You made it back."
I nod. His expression is breaking my heart. He looks weak.
He reaches a hand to mine and squeezes, "I was worried."
"I can take care of myself." I don’t even let the bizarre day I've had cross my mind. It's not the moment to stress him out.
"I don’t doubt that. You scare me."
I laugh. I can't even help myself. He's huge and no doubt strong, stronger than he knows. Stronger than me. I try not to think about the young girls in the truck. I am a coward.
"I'm going back to watching." Anna is gone suddenly and we are alone. I feel funny about it.
He pulls me up on the couch, "Come lay with me."
It's the first human contact I've had in a while. Watching TV with my granny is the closest thing to a snuggle I've ever had. I don’t know what to do. I go limp. He laughs.
He pulls me alongside him on the couch. His arm is burning hot. It feels amazing. He wraps his arm around me. I shiver from the heat.
"Tell me a story Emma."
I pause, I don’t have any. I want to tell him something fun about my childhood but it basically looks just like my life now. Well with more showering.
"I went to the town once a long time ago. The infection was newer then. I ran through the woods and broke the branches to make a path for myself to find the farmhouse again. Just like my dad taught me. I was excited when I saw the gates. I was so stupid. I thought being with other survivors would be better for me. I went in and begged for food from a lady. She laughed at me."
I feel my air getting trapped in my throat. The shame filling me is my punishment. I deserve it.
"I went out her door and sat in the narrow alley near the back of the houses. I was hidden by a bunch of old buckets and garbage. The lady and her daughter were walking around the back with bags of stuff. Some men came. They started tearing at them. They stripped them and hurt them."
I choke slightly on my next sentence, "I ran into the store and stole as much food as I could carry. I ran and gorged myself in the back of her store. I could still hear her screaming and I did nothing. I ate."
He squeezes me and kisses the top of my forehead. I stare into his black t-shirt that’s soaked with sweat.
"You're kind of bad at story telling. I sort of wanted to go to sleep. Now I think I'll never sleep again."
I laugh. I laugh with him. It kills the moment of suffering I deserve.
He kisses my forehead again, "Do you have anything lighter? I don’t want that to be the last thing I think about when I die."
I laugh again, but this time I want to cry. He's dying. I know this. Instead of me leaving him, he's leaving me and it hurts.
"I have one memory of my mother. She was in the hospital bed. I was two years old. She looked like me, dark blonde hair and green eyes but she was really pretty. Her lips always looked like she was pushing them out."
"Duck lips."
I frown, "What?"
He laughs, "They were called duck lips back then."
"Oh. Well she had those. She was in the bed and she let me climb up with her. I sat on her lap and we watched TV. It was a cartoon about dragons and some little Mexican kids."
"Dragon Tails. I loved that show. LOVE IT." He speaks in a high pitch voice.
It makes me smile. He remembers things so clearly.
He nudges me, "What happened then?"
I shake my head, "Nothing. We just sat in the sun on her bed. I remember how soft her nightie was and she let me eat her pudding."
"Yeah okay that is another bad example of story telling."
I want to defend myself, but I know it will only make him feel sorry for me.
He smiles, "Once when I was six, me and Will went and played down by the river behind our house. Our mom was really strict about it and never let us go down there. We figured 'cause Will was old enough to baby-sit we were good. We brought boats we made out of newspaper. We went to the edge of the river and pushed the boats in. They floated perfectly until mine flipped over. I reached for it before it got too far away and of course fell in. Will grabbed me before I got pulled away. I would have drowned for sure. We ran back to the house but we were too long getting home and mom was there already. We snuck in the back yard. I thought we were dead, but Will grabbed the hose from the side of the house and sprayed me. Mom came out the back door at that moment. So she walks to the backyard to see Will hosing and me screaming. He got grounded for a week for being a bully. He was the best brother ever."
A weird feeling overtakes the other feelings I have. I am jealous that I don’t have a single story like that one.
I look into his eyes and feel lost. I feel like I'm part of them.
He smirks, "That is a story, jackass."
I frown at him.
He lifts my chin and presses his warm lips to mine.
I love it.
I love him.
His warmth rushes through me. His lips part mine. His tongue caresses my lips softly.
He pulls back, but I want more. I watch him pull away.
He smiles, "You're supposed to close your eyes Emma."
I blush, "I liked that."
He laughs, "It was on my list of things to do before I die."
His words sting.
I snarl at him, "You haven’t ever kissed a girl before?"
He shakes his head, "Not a girl I really like."
I blush harder, "Your fever is making you crazy."
"Good." He pulls me back and kisses me until I'm dizzy.
Chapter Nine
The sunlight coming in the window blinds me, as I wake up disoriented. I shiver from the cold breeze that’s coming from down the hall. I notice I am laying on Jake still. I smile thinking about the night before, but stop when I notice his shirt is soaked in cold sweat. His skin is clammy and cold.
Tears stream down my cheeks, "No. No." I push on him. His body compresses against my push, but he doesn’t stir.
"Emma what is it?" Anna comes running in the room.
Jake sputters and snorts. He rolls over on the couch knocking me off and onto the floor. I start to laugh, "He's alive. I thought… He's cold. Oh my god he's alive. His fever broke. He's going to live." I jump up and grab the next vial of medication.
Anna rushes to his side and feels his face, "Oh frig, I was scared. I thought for sure he was gonners." She hugs me when I come back. She smells like Leo and I smirk. We traded sleeping partners for the night.
I hug her back, but notice the difference in our bodies. She is melded into me, squeezing me where as I am rigid.
We give him his next shot and pull the bandages off his leg. The red lines have receded but the wound still looks red and angry. I know we aren’t out of the danger zone, but I feel good knowing that we are one step closer.
He sleeps the entire day and Anna and I hang out. We take turns keeping watch and playing with Leo. I can see his affinity for her is getting stronger. I know even I feel different. I am getting closer to Anna and Jake.
"Em what are we having for dinner?"
I shrug down at her from the window of the barn, "I can go kill a bird."
She nods, "Alright. I'll start the fire."
We seal up the house completely and cook in the bunker. It's gross and sweaty with a fire down there, but it makes perfect sense. No smell escapes out into the wind.
I climb down with my bow and quiver and head across the grass. I slip into the forest, but instead of finding a tree to climb I freeze. I smell them before I see or hear them. I slide back up against the tree and wait to figure out where the smell is coming from.
"It was rude of you to leave without the escort we offered."
I turn to the voice but something smacks me in the forehead and everything goes black.
xxxx
"Wake up."
Pain overwhelms me as I open one of my eyes. I see bars in front of my face.
"Please wake up."
In the muted firelight I see a small girl poking me with a stick. It's made a small bleed on my arm, but that’s not where the pain is coming from. I close my eyes tightly and then open them again. It's dark. Firelight licks across the dark metal bars of my cage. I turn to small girl. "Where are we?"
"The others have us." She says.
My stomach falls into my bowels. My heartbeat and breath quicken. I push the door to the cage with my foot. My boots are gone.
"Where are we specifically?"
The girl frowns at me, "What?"
"Our location."
She shrugs. She is young and filthy. She makes me think about Anna, which makes me panic. I wonder if they knew Anna and Jake were there. I see my bow and quiver leaning against the tree near me.
"There she is."
I look up at the filthy scumbag who had chased me to the town. He is grinning again. He seems very proud of himself.
"You are a pretty girl. What's your name I bet it's something pretty like Jessica or Stephanie or Grace?"
I lick my lips and put a finger to the source of my pain. He winces as I touch the red sticky spot, "Sorry 'bout that. I had to surprise you. Bet it hurts doesn’t it."
He kneels on the ground in front of my cage, "Wanna tell me about how you got outta that town?"
I gulp.
He rattles the cage suddenly and starts laughing at my horrified expression. "Jesus you aren’t mute are you? I like it when you girls scream." He points to the little girl next to me, "I guess we can make her scream for you."
She shies away from the bars and curls into a small ball. I want him dead. Right now.
He points at me again, "You're going to fetch us a good price. I know it."
Fear rocks me. I don’t have a plan. That’s one of my rules. My plans where capture was a possibility have never included a cage. I always thought the girls were grabbed and dragged to trucks.
He walks back to the fire and howls into the night air. I watch as he unzips his pants and pees on the fire.
"Jesus Christ John that’s disgusting. You fucker."