He dipped his head, nearly driving the blade into his jugular, and closed his mouth over her throat. The softness of his lips was a stark contrast to the stinging scrape of his teeth followed by the soothing laps of his tongue. Her entire body went loose and rubbery. And hot. Very, very hot.
Somewhere in the back of her mind, she noted his hand leaving her chest, and then his armor was gone and he was pressed against her, bare-chested with his erection pressing into her belly through the fly of his pants.
“Does that feel like I want to kill you?” he whispered against her throat. And then he went stiff, his lips peeling back from his teeth. “Don’t do it, Limos.”
From over Than’s shoulder, Regan caught a glimpse of Limos easing up behind him, her sword poised to strike.
“Limos—” Regan tried to warn her off, but it was too late. Thanatos shoved his own blade in a reverse thrust, catching Limos in the neck.
Limos stumbled back, clutching her throat. Cursing Than to hell, Arik caught her.
“Get out.” Than’s voice was a lethal rumble, but he was kissing Regan’s throat as he spoke, and his hands were roving over her body with the kind of care one would use while handling a newborn kitten.
Regan caught Limos’s pained gaze. Go. I’ll be fine.
The female Horseman inclined her head in a nod, and then she allowed Arik to help her out of there. Limos would be fine, Regan knew, but she’d be sore for a while.
Thanatos nipped her earlobe and flicked his tongue over the tiny bite before sucking it between his lips. Lower, his hand cupped her breast as his thumb swiped across her nipple, and even through the fabric of her blouse and bra, the pleasure was luxurious.
“Cut me.” One hand came up to wrap around hers where she still held the dagger to his throat. “Last chance.”
She opened her palm, and the blade clattered to the floor.
Twenty-one
“Fuck.”
Thanatos’s harsh curse should probably have frightened Regan, but her body was on fire, and the only thing he’d done was throw gasoline on those flames.
He swept her into his arms and strode down the hall, his mouth on hers, his teeth nipping at her lips. He kicked the bedroom door closed and in three strides, was at the edge of the bed. Despite the barely leashed power radiating from his body, he placed her so gently on the mattress that she could have been made of the most delicate crystal.
By the time she’d pushed herself up on one elbow, he’d ripped—literally—his pants off. The wound on his thigh had already knitted closed and was now hidden behind a gorgeous medieval lion tattoo. It didn’t matter how many times she’d seen him na**d … each time she couldn’t help but stare. His body was a work of masculine art.
Slabs of sleek, toned muscle rippled under a tapestry of tattoos on deeply tanned skin. From his neck to his toes, he was a living, breathing tablet of history, emotion, and sex.
Silence stretched in the half-dozen feet of space separating them as he stood, chest heaving, his hands fisted at his sides, his head bowed. Still, he watched her through slitted eyes that smoldered.
“I need to see you.” His voice was harsh, as smoky as his gaze.
A serious case of nerves made her stomach churn. “I’ll put on my nightgown,” she said, as she fumbled around on the covers for it.
Thanatos took a single, heavy step closer. “I have missed eight months of seeing my son grow inside you. Don’t deprive me of another day.”
A wild series of glorious shivers skittered over her skin. God, what a wonderful husband and father he’d have made if fate hadn’t cursed him the way it had. He would have been there for every second of her pregnancy if she’d asked him to be—and probably even if she hadn’t. Most women would kill to have that kind of interest and devotion.
Most women. Regan had never considered the idea that she’d have a relationship or a family outside of The Aegis. So maybe it was her hormones messing with her brain, or maybe it was her biological clock ticking, or maybe it was the fact that so many of her Aegis family members had died recently, but she was suddenly wondering what being in a relationship would be like.
Being in a relationship with Thanatos.
You’re crazy. Certifiable with a capital C.
“Regan.”
She looked up. Thanatos had moved closer, and dear God, he’d taken his arousal in his hand and was stroking himself. Every pass of his hand revealed glimpses of dusky flesh against a background of fluid black lines that defined his tattoos.
The effect on her was insanely powerful, and with shaking hands, she peeled out of her stretchy maternity pants and her tent-like top. Were they really going to do this? One look in his eyes told her that yes, they were. They so were.
Though her hands shook, she wriggled out of her bra and underwear.
“Beautiful,” he rasped, and man, she melted. “Come here.”
She obeyed, compelled by the erotic authority in his tone. All her life she’d needed to be in control, taking orders only from her superiors. But something about Thanatos made her want to comply, to for once be okay with giving over control to someone who wouldn’t hurt her. At least, not physically. Emotionally… that was another story.
“What now?” she asked when she was standing directly in front of him.
In answer, he took her hand and placed it on his shaft. His breath hissed through his teeth and his gaze simmered with heat. Her body responded with a jolt of need that electrified every nerve ending. If he so much as touched her now, just the lightest brush of one finger, she’d come.
Squeezing her fist, she slid her thumb up over the satiny head of him, and as he groaned her sensitivity heightened even more, until she was sure that she wouldn’t even need a touch … just the whisper of his breath across her skin would set her off.
“Bed,” he said. “Now.”
Regan’s chest went tight, so tight that every heartbeat hurt. Silly, maybe, since she’d known what he wanted when he carried her into the bedroom, but at the sudden, undeniable reality, she froze in a sticky mire of guilt. She’d caused Thanatos so much pain, and it had all started on that mattress.
In a raspy whisper, she blurted, “I … can’t.” Overwhelmed by shame, she dashed to the bathroom and slammed the door behind her.
“Woman.” His footsteps pounded. “What are you doing?”
She locked the door. “I want to be alone.”
“Too bad. I’m not done with you.”
The walls closed in on her, and how had she ever thought the bathroom was large? It suddenly felt as confining as a coffin.
A sharp rap on the door made her jump. “I said, I’m not done with you.”
Her gaze darted around the room, but what was she hoping to find? A hidden trap door? When no secret passageway appeared, she gave up looking and simply slipped to the cold floor.
“Open the door, Regan.” Than’s voice was low, quiet, which made it all the more frightening. It was the calm before the storm.
A storm she deserved.
“Open the goddamned door,” he said slowly, “or I’ll break it down.”
She wrapped her arms around her legs, bracing for Hurricane Thanatos.
“Regan!” Than’s voice cracked like a whip. “Last chance.”
She closed her eyes and began to count the seconds between the lightning and the thunder. At six, the door crashed inward. His footsteps were like thunderclaps as he came closer.
“Don’t,” she said, in a voice that was much shakier than she’d have liked. “Don’t touch me.”
He inhaled sharply. “Is it the baby?”
“No,” she whispered.
“Then what the hell is wrong with you?”
She opened her eyes, but she couldn’t look at him. Instead, she stared at his feet.
“Regan?” His tone was softer now, tempered with concern. Had fear for the baby brought him out of his rage? “Answer me. What’s going on?”
“I…” She inhaled, as if the air could help her find her big girl voice. “I’m sorry.”
“For what?”
“For last time. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I’ve tried to tell you, but you don’t believe me. I don’t know what else to do. I know you want me to pay for what I did to you, and I’ll do whatever you want. I swear it. But I won’t have sex with you. I don’t want to hurt you again.”
“Hurt…me?”
“What if … when we’re on the bed, you remember being…” Her stomach rebelled, and she had to swallow the sourness in her mouth. “Being drugged and … and held down while I…” A sob escaped her, and she started to tremble so hard her teeth chattered.
“Regan?” He dropped to his knees in front of her, but she still couldn’t look at him. “Regan, listen to me. You were drugged, too.”
Tears stung her eyes. “But everything was so clear afterward. I don’t remember much of the actual…sex… except in my dreams. But I remember afterward it was like crystal, and I don’t understand how I couldn’t have been aware of what was happening—” He touched the tip of one warm finger to her lips, silencing her.
“It was the drug. It makes you unclear on everything you’re doing, hearing, and seeing until you cl**ax, and then it’s like a switch turns on and everything is back to normal. You see what happened as it really was.”
“I still … I still …” She gulped a breath so she could talk. “Since that night, I’ve felt so hollow inside, and as the baby grew, he filled that space, but when he’s gone…” What would happen to her? Would she be an empty shell? Was that what had happened to her mother? “Oh, God, I’m so sorry. If I could take it back, I would. If I could do it all over again, I would. I swear to you.” She was babbling now, her emotions overriding all the logic she’d filled herself with, the logic that had allowed her to justify what she’d done.
She’d been trying to save the world.
Thanatos swore, a harsh, vile curse in Sheoulic. “Don’t say that. Don’t ever say that to me again.” He gripped her shoulders and forced her to look at him. “I’ve been pissed and putting you through hell for your betrayal, but the truth is that I’ve been too full of righteous anger to admit that if I had been in your shoes, I’d have considered the idea, too. It’s easy to cast judgment when everything goes wrong and you weren’t the one having to do something distasteful for the greater good.”
“It was wrong—”
“Yes, it was wrong, but only because you were tricked. But shit, Regan, what you did was brave. You didn’t know what you were walking into when you came here. You risked your life and did something that scarred you to save people who would probably judge you harshly and will never have any idea what you risked your life for. Yeah, you f**ked me over—literally—but you did it for a bigger cause, and it was a selfless act.”
Not entirely. She’d done it for the save-the-world stuff, but Than had been right when he’d said there was always a personal consideration. She’d needed to be useful to The Aegis. She’d needed to be needed.
“I’m sorry—”
“What did I just say? Don’t you dare be sorry. If you’re sorry, if you could change things, that would mean you wouldn’t be pregnant, and I wouldn’t have a son on the way.”
She wasn’t sure she’d heard that right. “But we created your agimortus.”
“And you know what? I don’t care. I’ve been alone for five thousand years, Regan. I’ve wanted children. I’ve wanted sex. I’ve wanted to be with someone. I’d have sold my soul for those things. Maybe it’s selfish of me, but I can’t be sorry, and I don’t want you to be, either.” He hooked a finger under her chin and stared at her for so long she started to squirm. “And I don’t hate you. I hate what you have planned for our son, and we’ll discuss that, but I don’t hate you.”
Than leaned over, and she prepared herself for… she wasn’t sure what for. But it sure wasn’t for him to gather her in his arms and carry her out of the bathroom.
“Are you going to put me in the dungeon again?” she muttered into his chest. God, she hoped not. She was far too tired to fight. She would, because she didn’t know how to do anything else, but she didn’t know what would be left after she was done.
“Shh.” He set her on the bed and stretched out behind her, his long, hard body against her back. One hand came down on her arm and began to stroke. “I’m sorry.” His voice was a low murmur in her hair. “No more fighting.”
“No more fighting,” she whispered.
“I should be taking better care of you. If you’re hungry, I’ll feed you. If you’re tired, I’ll sit by the bed and watch over you while you sleep. And I won’t hold you to the eight months thing.” He pressed his forehead against the back of her neck, and she moaned at the intimacy of it. “I wasn’t lying when I said you’d awakened something sexual in me, something that frankly scares the shit out of me. But that’s my problem, not yours. I won’t make you do anything you don’t want to do.”
“What…” She swallowed. “What if I want to?”
Behind her, he went taut, and she kicked herself for asking him that. They were in a fragile place right now, and he might be all for revenge sex, but maybe he wasn’t ready for intimacy that wasn’t rooted in anger.
His hand slid down her arm to her hip. “I’ll give you that, too.”