“I know.”
He shifted unhappily and then sighed. “Thymara. Did I ruin everything between us?”
She turned to look at him and gave him a genuine smile. “No. Of course you didn’t. You just, well, actually, we just pushed it to a point where we had to talk about what would happen next. It wasn’t bad that we reached that point.”
“But nothing happened next,” Tats grumbled softly and looked away from her.
It made her smile. “Oh, something happened. It just wasn’t what you expected. I said no and I meant it. I still mean it, Tats. But it’s not about you. It’s about me dealing with what I’m becoming, and dealing with it one change at a time.”
He glanced over at her. His lashes were long and thick as they had always been. “Then it isn’t…forever. It’s just a decision for now.”
“Tats,” she began, but she was interrupted when Rapskal flung himself down beside her. She jumped; she still wasn’t accustomed to him being back. A smile spread across her face of her own accord. It was incredibly good to have him back. Tats made a small sound in the back of his throat, but the smile he gave their friend was genuine.
“So, let’s see them!” Rapskal greeted her.
“See what?”
“Your wings, of course! Everyone else has seen them but me. Take them out, I want to see them.”
“Rapskal, they’re not, well, they’re not finished yet.” She couldn’t think of what else to say. She wasn’t sure how to express what she meant to say, and then it came to her. “I’m not ready for people to see them yet.”
He turned his head to one side. Sunlight ran down the scaling along his jaw, and she had to suppress the impulse to trace the same line with her fingers. He gave a confused shrug. “But people already saw them, in the river that day. Even I saw them, if only for a minute as we flew over. So it’s only fair I get to see them now, because everyone else got a chance to see them then.”
“That doesn’t make sense.”
“Please.”
She tried to think if he’d ever said please to her before. If he had, it hadn’t sounded like that. She didn’t answer, but only reached over her shoulder to where the openings were cut in the back of her shirt. She began to grope for the tips of her wings.
“Oh, I’ll help,” he offered, and before she could refuse, she felt his fingers on her wingtips as he gently guided first one and then the other out of her shirt. His gentle touch put a shiver up her back and when she shook, she felt her wings suddenly quiver in response.
“Ohhh,” he said. “Open them. Let me see the pattern.”
She glanced at him. The expression on his face was rapt. She looked shyly at Tats. He was staring at her wings as if trying to grasp the concept that they were part of her now. “I’m still learning how to move them,” she said quietly. Suddenly she wanted both of them to see her wings. She closed her eyes and focused on feeling the sunlight touching her wings. Sylve had been right, she suddenly decided. They were like fingers coming out of her back. Fingers, long fingers on hands…she opened her eyes and looked down at her hands. She closed her fingers together and then, very slowly, aware of every muscle, every movement, she opened them.
She knew it had worked when she heard Rapskal catch his breath. “Oh, they’re lovely. Can I touch them?”
“Rapskal, I don’t think…” she began, but he wasn’t listening.
“They’re like Heeby’s wings were at first. The skin is as fine as parchment, and the light shines right through the colors. I’m going to hold them open all the way so I can see them.” He crawled around behind her, and she felt him take the outermost tip of each wing in each of his hands. Then, as carefully as if she were a butterfly, he opened her wings fully to the light. She could feel the difference, could feel the light and then the warmth of the sun touch them. Warmth spread through them as if it were water flowing.
“The colors just got brighter,” Tats said quietly.
“You should do this every day,” Rapskal said decisively. “And you should practice moving them, too, to make them stronger and help them grow. Otherwise, you’ll never be able to fly.”
“Oh, she won’t be able to fly with them,” Tats told him quickly, as if fearing that Rapskal had hurt her feelings. “I heard Sintara tell her that. The dragon said she should just be grateful to have such beautiful wings. She won’t be able to fly with them.”
Rapskal laughed merrily. “Oh, that’s what everyone said to me about Heeby, too. Don’t be silly. Of course she’ll be able to fly. She just has to try every day.” He leaned forward and spoke by her ear. “Don’t worry, Thymara. I’ll help you practice every day, just like I did with Heeby. You’ll fly.”