“Did you mean what you said?”
“About what?” I asked.
“Raising an army.”
I tilted my head. “One town won’t be enough to defeat the horde. With the Freaks organizing and banding together, we have to do the same. It can’t matter where somebody’s from or why they want to fight. It only matters if they’re committed.”
“The colonel laughed. You really think we can do this?” While it warmed my heart to hear that instinctive “we,” the question also showed me how much the Freaks had damaged his confidence. He’d had my back in the meeting, but now the doubts emerged.
“I think we’ve lost if we don’t try,” I said.
“Then I’m with you.” He pitched his voice low so it wouldn’t carry—and in that moment of everlasting sweetness, it felt like a secret pact, Fade and me against the world.
Too soon, dark fell and cradled us in night. We had come far enough from Soldier’s Pond that there were no lights apart from moon and stars. How odd that I could’ve so quickly forgotten that darkness like this existed, beyond banishing by candles or the crafty glow of old-world lights. I held my hand up to my face, marveling at the smudgy lines. To my annoyance, I was too keyed up to sleep.
“I’ll take the first watch,” I said.
Fade shook his head. “We both need to rest. I’ll put dry branches around the perimeter. If anything crosses, the noise will wake us.”
“Good idea.” I helped him gather them, then we created a box far enough from our bedrolls that it should give us time to draw our weapons.
My time at the outpost had left me sleeping even lighter. Though I had never mentioned my bad dreams to anyone, between memories of the enclave and Fade’s abduction, I didn’t sleep well most nights anyway. Between my nighttime troubles and Fade’s precautions, I doubted the Freaks could sneak up on us. Of course, before it happened, I would’ve said they couldn’t steal fire or take two men from an armed encampment, too. Those facts left me faintly unnerved.
“It’ll be cold tonight.” I nodded as I curled into my blankets, too preoccupied to wonder at the statement. The reason for it became clear when Fade added, “You could sleep next to me.”
“Would that be all right?”
“It was before. I rolled toward you … and I might as well save us that step.”
“I’d like that if it wouldn’t bother you.”
He exhaled slowly and with obvious trepidation. “I’ll let you know.”
Feeling like I was taming a wild creature, I eased my back up to his front by increments, and I stopped when I could just barely feel him. He came a little closer on his own, so the heat was immediately palpable. Delight cascaded through me when he dropped his arm over my waist. I braced for rejection, but instead he seemed to be settling in, and I felt the warm gust of his breath against the back of my head.
“You have no idea how happy this makes me,” I whispered.
His voice was somber. “It makes me feel less broken. It helps when I can plan it and consider all the reasons it’s a good thing, first. I still quake like a child over loud noises, sudden touches, people popping out at me unexpectedly—”
“That’s normal,” I said, though I had no idea whether it was. Then it occurred to me how I could best help him—by reassuring him he wasn’t alone. “I never told you this, but I have nightmares. The blind boy from down below, usually. Since we came Topside, there are more … being taken by the Wolves, and later, when I feared I’d lost you forever … that’s the worst. I’m in the woods again, it’s dark and I’m alone, and I’m surrounded by the horde, only this time, I’m covered in my own blood, not their entrails, so they’re all staring right at me. I know I’m going to die—that I failed you and it’ll be my fault that—” The tears surprised me, choking my words.
That you die. I don’t save you.
Before this moment, it hadn’t occurred to me that my weakness would matter to him. Fade levered up on his elbow and tugged on my shoulder. I could tell he wanted me to face him. Another gentle pull, and I succumbed. His eyes were wide and soft, surprised even, in the moonlight, like he hadn’t known I could suffer the same way he did. Well, maybe not the same, but if he was damaged, I surely was too. I strangled the weeping with a few sharp breaths.
“You’re not as strong as I thought.”
“I know,” I said miserably. “Silk always said that. She told me over and over that I have a Breeder’s heart, and I’ll never be a true Huntress.”
“You’re stronger. Much as I love you, I always thought you don’t feel things like I do. But the truth is, you just hide it better. You carry it around without ever asking anybody to help shoulder it. I’m so sorry. I just … left you, hurting, and I was so worried about being worthy that I never once suspected you need me too.”
My voice came out small in the dark. “I do.”
For once, the Huntress was in complete agreement with the girl.
Fade trembled when he touched my hair. “I promise I won’t go away again, even inside my head. And you tell me about the bad dreams from now on. Please don’t hide. Not from me.”
“Then in the interest of full honesty, I really wish you’d kiss me right now.”
Apart from the blind nuzzling in his sleep, he hadn’t touched me like that since his return. Considering it hadn’t been very long since we started sparking, I missed it a whole lot. His breath misted my forehead, and Fade pressed a kiss there, delicate as a moth’s wing. That wasn’t what I had in mind, but I feared spooking him. He dusted kisses along my temple down to my cheekbone, then I couldn’t help it. I turned my head so my mouth met his. He made a soft sound, and I was in accord.
I didn’t grab on to him, though I wanted to. He had conveyed to me that touching went easier when he was in charge of it—braced for it—and so I kept my hands still. Somehow that only made me more conscious of the hot glide of his lips, and the way his body lit mine up like a summer night, all heat and starlight. His tongue grazed mine; it was all I could do not to leap on him. Proud of my self-control, I lay in the circle of his arm after he broke the kiss, dreaming of the day when I could again touch him freely.
With a soft sigh, Fade rested his forehead against mine. “We should get to sleep. It will be another long day tomorrow.”
He was more right about that than he knew.
Winterville
Freaks harried us all the next day.
Past dawn, they caught our scent, and Fade and I ran like the devil was at our heels. At one point, we crossed the river, hoping they’d lose us in the water, but no such luck. Since it was shallow enough for us to pass, they could too. I found it interesting that two people in the wilderness could draw so much attention. Was it possible they suspected the importance of our mission? If so, we were in more trouble than I’d reckoned.
With them prowling in our wake, there was no chance to stop for more than minimal food, water, and hygiene breaks. Sleep was out of the question, so we ran on into the night, until the pitch darkness made it likely we’d break an ankle on the uneven terrain. I slowed, scanning the horizon as the noises grew louder behind us. If I didn’t spot shelter, the Freaks would find us, and we’d end up fighting in the dark. My night vision could compensate but Fade might not fare as well. Therefore, I was determined to find us a place to hide.
I spun in all directions, then pointed. “This way.”
To his credit, Fade didn’t ask. He just followed me as I ran. The dot resolved as I drew closer. From this range, I made out an abandoned house, bigger than the one we’d camped in that first winter after we left the ruins. There were outbuildings on the property too; and from my history lessons, I suspected we had stumbled on a farm. Ancient machinery sat in rusted hulks, creating eerie shapes in the darkness. I ignored them as I darted past.
The door was still standing, though hanging drunkenly on its hinges. I had hoped for a secure location if not a secret one, but this would have to do. Inside the house, I found pests and scavengers, droppings and old nests. A rickety flight of stairs led up, and at the top, there was a door with a wooden crossbar. I shut it quietly and lowered it in place. If they tracked us here, we could defend the room better than an open field, plus they would expend strength and energy in breaking down the door.
“This is as good as it gets,” I said, surveying the dusty space.
My muscles trembled with weariness. In hindsight, I had no idea how Fade and I had functioned down below on so little food. No wonder my people died young.
“At least we have a roof and four walls. More than we had last night.”
But last night we had kissing.
That didn’t seem like a worthwhile protest, however. I sank down to the dirty floor, one hand on my knives. If the Freaks proved as relentless as they had been all day, they would be here soon. I didn’t suggest sleep for obvious reasons. Fade sat down near me and we listened.
He heard it first and crept to the window with me close at his heels. Through the smudged and filthy glass, I glimpsed a cluster of Freaks doggedly tracking us toward the house. I counted at least ten, a large party for the two of us. But if they had taken to traveling in small war bands, then we were lucky there weren’t more of them.
“I don’t know if I can take five of them,” I admitted in a whisper. “Is this how aging goes? First you feel incredibly tired, you weaken, and then your reactions slow—”
Fade was laughing softly. “You’re ridiculous. You’re not getting old, Deuce. It’s just been a rough run, and you got precious little rest, helping Tegan. You’re also recovering from multiple injuries, and we had an exhausting trip to Soldier’s Pond.”
Put that way, it had been a tough month. “If a straight fight is out, what should we do?”
“I have an idea,” he said.
The Freaks were at the door downstairs now. I heard them snarling in the yard, then the front door banged open. Their claws rasped on the wood floor as they prowled below us. Despite my faith in Fade’s cleverness, a chill raced through me.
“Make some noise,” he said, as he piled things up in the center of the room: broken bits of furniture and rags that might’ve been curtains, ages ago.
That seemed like a bad plan, but I trusted him enough not to argue. I stomped my feet, walking in circles, then I heard the monsters scramble up the stairs. The first body hit the door and the bar bowed with the pressure; it wasn’t strong enough to keep them out indefinitely. A snarling discussion followed, as if they were debating their options.
I understood when Fade touched his father’s lighter to the rags and dry wood. The flames curled up immediately, spreading to the floor that was riddled with dry rot. He ran over to the window and slid the sash up. With an impatient gesture, he beckoned.
“We need to get out of here and set a couple more fires downstairs. With any luck, these Freaks aren’t part of the group that burned Salvation, so they won’t understand the danger until it’s too late.”