Des hoped so.
Colt and Tony sat together at a table in the corner. She waved as she walked past them. Colt blew her a kiss and Tony smiled and waved.
Theo’s wife was in attendance tonight, so he stuck to her like glue, on his best behavior for the press. He’d stood beside her and proclaimed the shoot had gone smoothly and that both his leads had performed to perfection. While barely standing within two feet of Des.
Ha.
She found Logan at a table near the bar, sitting with Ben and Martha. Martha’s cheeks were pink with excitement, and every time one of the actors walked by, she’d snap a picture. Des wandered over.
“Oh, Des, you look so beautiful tonight,” Martha said. “Like a true movie star.”
“You do clean up pretty,” Ben said.
“Thank you both,” she said, sliding into a chair.
“Are you finished with all your work for the night?” Martha asked.
“Yes.”
“What can I get you to drink?” Logan asked.
“A club soda with lime would be great.”
Logan stood. “Anyone else?”
“Oh, we’re fine here, I think, Logan, but thank you,” Martha said.
While Logan wandered over to the bar, Martha asked, “So what’s next for you?”
“There’s a premiere of my next movie in a couple of weeks. Plus, I have to do some finishing work on this one at the studio. So I head back to L.A.”
Martha took her hand. “We’re going to miss you.”
“I’m going to miss you, too.”
“When do you leave?”
“Tomorrow.”
Martha’s eyes brimmed with tears. “Oh, so soon?”
“I’m afraid so.” Des fought back tears of her own.
“Will you come back and visit us sometime?”
“Well, I have been invited to Emma and Luke’s wedding.”
“Oh, it’ll be so wonderful to see you again. But I’m hoping you’ll be back before then.”
She sighed. “We’ll see. I hope so, too.” Her fingers were crossed she’d be seeing a lot more of Martha and Ben.
“Here you go.” Logan handed Des her drink.
“Thank you. All that talking I had to do made me thirsty.” She took a few sips of her club soda.
“I think we’ve had enough of all the partying,” Martha said. “I’m going to wander through the crowd, snap a few more photos, and then we’re going to head out for the night.”
Martha and Ben stood.
“Thank you for coming.”
Martha scooped her into a hug. “You’re welcome here anytime.”
“Thank you for making me feel so at home, so much like a part of your family.”
Martha kissed her cheek, then Ben hugged her and they left.
“That was hard.”
“What was?” Logan asked.
“Saying good-bye to Martha and Ben.”
“Oh. Well, you have a lot of things to do back in L.A. Soon you’ll forget all about us here.”
She frowned. “I don’t think so. This place has become like home for me.”
He laughed. “The way you’re dressed tonight? You couldn’t be further from looking like you belong here.”
“That’s just for show. I’m way more comfortable in a pair of jeans and tennis shoes than I ever am dressed up like this.”
“You look like you should be dressed like that all the time, Des. You look amazing.”
“Thank you. But this isn’t who I am. This is just an act.”
He didn’t say anything more to that, and then they wandered through the crowds, stopped and visited with various members of the crew.
“There’s Colt,” Logan said. “I didn’t know your friend Tony was in town.”
“He is.”
They went over to their table.
“Hey, Logan,” Colt said. “Why don’t you two take a seat?”
Des and Logan sat.
“What brings you back in town, Tony?” Logan asked.
Tony looked over at Colt, and Colt nodded.
“I wanted to congratulate my boyfriend on completing his movie.”
Logan looked over at Colt, who was smiling at Tony. It didn’t take Logan more than a few seconds to make the connection. He looked at Des, who nodded.
“Oh. I didn’t know.”
“No one did. Until now,” Colt said. “I’m not making an announcement. Tony and I have been together for a long time. I’m just tired of hiding it.”
“Why should you hide it? You should be with whoever the hell you want to be with. I wish you two the best of luck.”
Des watched as Colt visibly exhaled. “Thanks for that, Logan. You don’t even know how much that means to Tony and me.”
Tony nodded. “Agreed. Seriously, man. Thanks.”
Logan shrugged. “You’re welcome, but I don’t know why anyone would make a big deal over who you love. I know they do, but it’s bullshit and none of their goddamn business.”
Colt looked over at Des. “Why can’t everyone be like Logan?”
“Why not, indeed?” She grasped Colt’s hand. “It’s going to be okay.”
They ended up staying to hang out with Tony and Colt until the party started breaking up. Then Des went to her trailer to change into a sundress and sandals, taking her hair down and brushing it out. She washed her makeup off and felt normal again.
She’d told Logan she’d come to his house after she changed, so she hopped into one of the SUVs and drove over to the ranch. Her stomach tightened when she drove up to the big white house, knowing she was leaving tomorrow and how much she was going to miss this place that she now thought of as hers. Ridiculous, of course. It wasn’t her home.
She got out of the SUV and saw all the dogs running over to her. She was going to miss them as much as everyone else.
“Hi, babies.” She knelt down and petted them. She stuck her face in their fur and hugged them close.
Logan was on the front porch waiting for her as she climbed the stairs.
“It’s like seeing Cinderella poof into the scullery maid at midnight.”
“Hey. I take exception to that. Are you intimating that I’m dowdy now?”
He laughed. “You could never be dowdy. Now you’re just regular beautiful instead of glamorous beautiful.”
She walked up to him and twined her arms around his neck. “I’ll accept that as a compliment.”
“Good. Because it was intended as one.”
They went inside and to the living room. She led him over to the sofa. “So I have a question to ask you.”
“You’re not gonna get down on one knee and ask me to marry you, are you?”
She laughed. “No, cowboy. I might be a little unconventional in some areas, but in that, I’m traditional.”
They took a seat and she turned to him. “So the premiere of the last movie Colt and I made together is two weeks from now. I want you to attend with me.”
He frowned. “Like a big movie premiere in L.A.?”
“Yes.”
He shook his head. “I don’t think so. Thanks for asking, though.”
“No, you don’t understand. It’s a really big deal. We’d dress up, you’d get to wear a tux, I wear a fancy dress. We watch the movie, then there are parties.”
“Yeah, Des. I do get it. And that’s not my thing.”
She stared at him. “What do you mean that’s not your thing?”
“I mean this is where it ends for us. Hollywood is your life, not mine.”
She felt like a knife had been stuck in her heart. This is where it ends for us.
“Surely you don’t mean that. Yes, the whole Hollywood thing is a part of my life. Movie premieres are such a small part, though. But you’ve become a large part of it, and I thought you might want to share it with me.”
“My life is here on the ranch. It always was and always will be.”
“So what does that mean? That we’re through?”
“Yeah, that’s exactly what I mean. I can’t be a part of your Hollywood life.”
She wasn’t going to just give up. Not without a fight. “You need to learn to bend, Logan, to be flexible. You know what we have together is worth it.”
He stood. “We don’t have anything together, Des. We had fun while you were here, and now it’s over. Your life is traveling all over the world, and going to those movie premieres, and standing in front of the press being a star. My life is here on the ranch, standing ankle deep in cow shit. And this is where I’m content to be. I wouldn’t be happy in a tux attending your movie premiere.”
She lifted her chin. “So you’d be unwilling to bend, just a little, so we could be together. You couldn’t be even a little bit flexible.”
“You know what? I’m the most goddamn flexible person I’ve ever known. I’ve bent to everyone else’s needs my entire life. It’s about damn time someone bent to my needs and my wants.”
“Really. And what is it that you want, Logan? What is it that you feel you need that you’re not getting?”
He didn’t answer, and then she knew.
“I see. You want me to give up my dreams for you.”
He shot her a look. “Absolutely not. I’d never ask that of you. And that’s the problem. You and me—we don’t fit together. We never have. And all the wishing in the world isn’t gonna make it happen. Give it up, Des.”
She stood. “I didn’t ask you to change your life for me, Logan. I would never do that. I thought you and I had something together. That we could figure out how to merge our lives together and make it work.”
She paused, then looked at him. “I’m in love with you. The thought of walking away from you hurts my heart and tears away at my soul. So I wanted to share a piece of my life with you by asking you to be my date at the movie premiere. Not to leave your life but to invite you to glimpse a piece of mine. If you can’t even bend a little for that, then you’re right. We have nothing together, and we never did.”
She grabbed her keys off the coffee table and walked out. Tears pricked her eyes, blinding her as she made her way out the front door and into the SUV. She started it up, a part of her hoping and wishing that Logan would come running out of the house after her.
She wasn’t surprised when he didn’t.
She drove back to the set and made her way back to the trailer, forcing back the pain and the tears that threatened to tear her apart until she got into her trailer and shut and locked the door.
Only then did she give in. She went into her bedroom and curled up on the bed, grabbed her pillow, and sobbed.
LOGAN SAT ON the sofa, unable to move. It wasn’t in him to deliberately hurt someone the way he’d hurt Des.
But hadn’t that been what he’d done to her over and over again since they’d been together? He’d hurt her. And the last thing he wanted to do was keep hurting her.
Seeing the pain in her eyes when he’d said the things he’d said nearly tore him apart. He almost changed his mind right then, nearly pulled her into his arms and told her that he was lying, that he loved her and would move heaven and earth to keep her in his life.
But that wasn’t what was best for Des and he knew it, so he’d lied and told her he didn’t care enough about her to do whatever it took to make it work.
Now his heart was in shreds and the woman he loved had just walked out of his life.
And his house was emptier than it had ever been before.
He walked through the house and turned out all the lights, then headed upstairs to bed.
Alone.
He was used to that, had done it for years. It had become his comfort and his solace.
It had become his hell.
Until Des had come into his life and changed it all.
But now he was alone again.
And hell had moved back in.
Chapter 23
A WEEK AND a half after Des had left, Logan took an uncharacteristic night off and headed to his friend Bash’s bar. It was a quiet, middle-of-the-week night and all he wanted was to watch some baseball and drink beer.
The one thing he could count on when hanging out with Bash was quiet. He could drink beer, they’d watch sports together, and they wouldn’t have to talk about anything.
Or at least that’s how it used to be.
“So how are things going with you and the hot actress?” Bash asked.
“That’s over.”
“Sorry to hear that. I thought you two had something that might last.”
Logan took several long swallows of beer before answering. “Not sure why you’d think that.”
“Because everyone in town talked about the two of you and how you and Des seemed like such a good fit together.”
“Yeah, well, you can’t believe everything you hear.”
An hour later, his brother Luke showed up.
Logan sighed. “What are you doing here?”
“Saw your truck outside, thought I’d have a beer with you. You got a problem with that?”
“Nope.”
Bash sat a beer in front of Luke.
“Have you heard anything from Des since she left?” Luke asked.
“No.” His no had come out sharper than he’d intended.
“I see.”
Logan grabbed his beer and finished it, then signaled Bash for another. “No, you don’t see anything. No one sees anything. Why is everyone trying to push Des and me together?”
“I don’t think anyone tried to do that, but the two of you were together a lot when she was here. I think it was a given you were a couple.”