Carolina blinked. “What do you mean, we have something else?”
“Oh, please. You brought him home with you for Christmas, and then he whisked you away for New Year’s. That’s a relationship, honey, not f**k buddies.”
“He’s also Gray’s best friend.”
“So? What does that have to do with your relationship with him?”
“That’s why I invited him to come to the ranch for Christmas.”
Stella took a big bite of pizza, chewed, and said, “Uh-huh.”
“Seriously. My relationship with Drew is the same as yours is with Trick.”
“Bullshit. It’s totally different. Your eyes light up when you talk about him. Even when you watch him on TV. It’s like you’re in love with him.”
And there was the word, the one she’d avoided even thinking about. “I am not in love with him.”
“If you say so. But you are in love with him.”
“Don’t tell me how I feel, Stella. We’re just having some fun. And we’re together a lot because of the fashion line.”
Stella waved her hand back and forth. “Denial, denial, denial. What are you so afraid of? He’s not a bad guy. He’s damn fine looking, seems to treat you well, you two have fun together, and obviously the sex is off the charts because you spend a lot of time in bed together. So what’s the problem?”
Carolina frowned. “The problem is, my career is just about to take off. The very last thing I need is a relationship. And yes, he is all those things. But love doesn’t fit into the picture for me right now.”
“Oh, how sad that falling in love is so inconvenient for you. Should I open a bottle of wine and we can have a pity party?”
Carolina stood. “What the hell is wrong with you, Stella? Why are you pushing this?”
Seemingly unconcerned, Stella just sat there. “I’m not the one getting all pissed off and shouting in denial over something that’s so clearly obvious. The question is, why are you getting so mad at me?”
Stella was right. She was being a total bitch. She took a deep breath and let it out. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t worry about it. I know you, and I know the whole love thing scares you.”
“I’m not in love with him.” She kept her voice purposely low to avoid screaming it.
“Okay. I believe you. Now sit down and finish your pizza and let’s watch the game.”
Carolina ate another piece of pizza, but her stomach was twisted in knots and the pizza tasted like cardboard now. As she watched Drew tangle with the Chicago player, her heart climbed into her throat. It was a tough, physical game. Elbows were thrown, lots of penalties, and in the end, the Travelers lost.
Again.
She felt awful for Drew. That was four road losses in a row.
“Well, that sucked,” Stella said.
Carolina continued to watch after the game as the media interviewed the players. Drew was one of them, and she caught the misery on his face. She ached for him, wanted to be there with him, to put her arms around him and tell him to keep pushing, that the team would get through this road game loss issue.
She wanted to tell him that she believed in him.
She turned to Stella, who had been watching her. “It’s obvious I care about him.”
“I know you do, honey.”
“That loss tonight—” She glanced over at the television. “Watching the interviews, the look on his face. God, Stel, it just kills me inside to see him hurting like that.”
“It means you feel something for him. I understand.”
“But I don’t know exactly how I feel, or how deep it runs. I’ve never taken the time to analyze. I don’t want to think about it. All I have room to think about is the launch of my line. Anything else and I might just implode.”
“Okay. I get that. So maybe after the launch of your line, you can figure out whether you’re in love with him or not.”
She smiled at Stella. “Maybe.”
If he was still around then.
• • •
THAT HAD TO HAVE BEEN THE WORST FUCKING GAME Drew had ever played. And he knew the rest of the guys felt the same way. He’d gotten two penalties, including a five-minute for fighting, which had been total bullshit. It had been a physical game and they’d played tough, with everything they had. It hadn’t been enough.
Avery was playing hurt, and it showed. He’d given up four goals, and that just wasn’t like him. But their other goalie just wasn’t as good. It was their job to make Avery’s work easier while his thigh muscle was healing, and they’d failed.
Shit.
They had to find a way to win on the road. They all knew it, and the coach kept ramming it into their heads at the end of every period and after the games.
They were a much better team than they were showing, and they had to figure this out.
His head just hadn’t been in the game lately. He knew part of this was his fault, and it was time he started taking responsibility.
He’d lost focus, and he knew why.
Carolina. He’d been chasing her since preseason, had put all his focus and attention on her instead of the game, and it was costing him, and his team.
It was time he started concentrating more on hockey, and less on Carolina. Though the thought of seeing her less made his gut clench.
Some guys felt that dating women during the season was bad luck. He wasn’t one of those guys. Then again, when he played with his concentration fully on the game, he was an ass-kicker. He had to admit, he’d focused more on Carolina and less on the game so far this season, and it was clearly hurting his game.
Time to change that. As painful as it was, his career was his life, and he wasn’t going to let anything jeopardize that, no matter what—or who—that was.
He showered and dressed, then packed his bag.
There was a text message from Carolina.
Watched your game. Rough loss. I know you can come back from this. I believe in you.
He smiled at the message, then checked the next one.
We need to set a time for you to come in for your final fittings, talk about the advertising campaign, and decide on the date for the photo shoot. Can we get together when you get back?
He stared at it for a long few minutes, then typed a message back to her.
Have a lot of work to do, game-wise. We’re kind of a mess right now so coach wants extra practices. I’ll get back to you and let you know.
He knew Carolina needed him. But so did his team.
And he had to prioritize. As of right now, his priority was his team. His career.
Carolina would have to wait.
TWENTY-SEVEN
CAROLINA HAD SENT DREW MULTIPLE TEXT MESSAGES, and had even called him a few times, but he kept saying he was busy with hockey stuff and couldn’t find the time to work on her advertising campaign.
He’d actually popped in for the final fittings on a day she hadn’t been here. She’d been at the event center, taking some photos and talking to the event coordinator. Her staff had handled the fitting, and he’d been gone by the time she’d come back.
He hadn’t said a word to her. He hadn’t called her or told her he was coming by, so they hadn’t had a chance to talk about the advertising campaign.
She had the photographer ready to go. All she needed now was her model. A model who was being really goddamned uncooperative right now.
The test photos they’d taken had turned out phenomenally well. With a professional photographer on hand, she knew the real product would be spectacular. Half a day. A few hours. That’s all she needed from him to get this finished.
She paced in her workshop, everyone else having left for the day. She’d known Drew was going to let her down. She should have gone with someone else. Not that it wasn’t too late to do that. But dammit, the whole campaign was lined out perfectly in her head, and the only face and body she saw on there was Drew.
Maybe that was because she was personally involved with him, because she’d slept with him. There were many great-looking models who’d fit the advertising perfectly.
She tapped her pencil on her sketchbook, staring at it and getting nowhere. She pulled up the Travelers schedule. No game today, and yet her phone remained strangely silent, at least as far as Drew. Everyone else was texting and calling her about every last-minute detail, including wanting invitations to the show which was in three goddamn days. As if that wasn’t enough to tighten her chest and make it hard to breathe. But the one person she needed to hear from had gone silent.
She dialed his number, the phone rang several times and then she got his voice mail, which sent her blood pressure through the roof. She knew from looking at his schedule that he had a stretch of home games, which meant he was in town and was going to be here for a while, including for the show, thank God.
If he even planned to show up for that.
She grabbed her coat and shut down the studio, then grabbed a taxi, giving the driver Drew’s address.
She paid the driver, but asked him to wait while she went up to the door and pressed the buzzer. When Drew answered, she waved the driver off.
“It’s Carolina.”
“Oh. Sure. Hang on while I buzz you in.”
She rolled her eyes when he hit the buzzer. She went inside and headed to his door. He’d already opened it and was leaning against the doorway. He didn’t have a shirt on, only a pair of low-slung sweats. His hair was wet, the ends curling around his neck. Despite her profound irritation with him, she couldn’t fight the surge of desire that kicked in as her gaze instinctively followed the droplets of water sliding down his chest.
Forcing her attention to his face, she saw him smiling.
“This is a nice surprise.”
“You didn’t answer your phone.”
He frowned. “I must have been in the shower. Or maybe at practice. I just got home about twenty minutes ago and jumped in the shower right away. Sorry. Come on in.”
She took off her coat while Drew went into the bedroom and came back with a shirt on.
“Do you want something to drink? A beer or a soda or water?”
“Water would be good, thanks.”
He was being formal. He hadn’t hugged her or kissed her. She didn’t like it. It was like they had taken ten steps back in their relationship and she didn’t know what was going on.
He handed her water and grabbed one for himself.
“Take a seat,” he said, motioning to his sofa.
She sat and took a sip of water. “What’s going on, Drew?”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean you’re ignoring my calls and texts. You’re ignoring me. You came in for your final fitting, and you didn’t even tell me.”
“Oh, yeah, that. I only had a few minutes and you weren’t there. Your staff took care of it, and I had to hurry out of there. I told you I’ve been busy with games and practice.”
“We have the photo shoot to schedule and I’m running out of time.”
He didn’t say anything. She studied him, saw the tension on his face and the way he held his body.
“Tell me what’s bothering you,” she said. “Is it the road games?”
“You’re not really here to talk about hockey, are you?”
“I’m here to talk about you, about what’s been going on since we were last together. You’ve been avoiding me.”
“No, I haven’t.”
She cocked her head to the side and leveled a serious look at him. “Come on, Drew. Let’s be honest here. If you’ve changed your mind about doing the ad shoot, at least tell me.”
He stood and paced, spending more time looking out the window than at her. A bad sign. Carolina stayed on the sofa, because it was obvious Drew didn’t want her close. The thought stabbed through her, the hurt palpable.
“I don’t know. Work’s been tough, you know? We’ve lost some games and we’re all trying to figure out what’s not working for the team. It’s all I’ve been able to think about lately.”
“Understandable. When things don’t go right at work, it consumes you.”
He stopped and looked down at her. “You’re not mad.”
“How could I be? All I needed was an explanation of where your head was at. And I do know how you feel. But the bottom line is, I’m at deadline for the print advertising. You’re either in or out. My preference is you being in. It’ll only take a few hours for the shoot, Drew, and I really need you.”
She was laying it all on the line for him, telling him how much she was relying on him for this.
He looked at her, and she waited.
“I just . . . can’t right now, Carolina. I have to give everything to the team.”
“But you’re still going to do the show, aren’t you?”
He didn’t answer her.
“Drew. You have to do the show. You’re fitted. It’s too late to get someone else.”
“Yeah. Sure. I did the fittings, right? I’ll do the show.”
She’d never seen such a lack of enthusiasm. Not that she expected him to be thrilled about it, but . . . God, she had spent a year getting ready for this. And now it was three days away and he wanted to bail on her?
“You could have said no at the beginning, you know. It wasn’t even my idea to have you in the show. It was Gray’s.”
He gave her a wry smile. “So you didn’t want me.”
She let out a frustrated sigh. “I’m not saying that. But it’s too late now. I need you to say you’re going to be there.”
He shrugged. “I’ll be there. For the show part, anyway, because I promised you I would.”