He nodded and threw a last frowning glance at the trunk. Juliette could tell he would rather stay and help. He squeezed her arm and kissed her on the cheek before leaving and closing the door. Juliette sat on her cot and squeezed herself into yet another suit and could hear him and Sophia working seal tape around the door. The vents overhead had already been double-bagged. Juliette reckoned there was far less air in the container than she had allowed inside Silo 17 – and she had survived that ordeal – but they were still taking every precaution. They were acting as if even one of those containers had enough poison in it to kill everyone in the silo. It was a condition Juliette had insisted upon.
Nelson zipped up her back and folded the velcro flap over, sealing it tight. She tugged on her gloves. Both of their helmets clicked into place. To give them plenty of air and time, she had pulled an oxygen bottle from the acetylene kit. The flow of air was regulated with a small knob, and the overflow spilled out through a set of double valves. Testing the set-up, Juliette had found they could go for days on the trickle of air from the shared tank.
“You good?” she asked Nelson, testing the volume on her radio.
“Yeah,” he said. “Ready.”
Juliette appreciated the rapport they had developed, the rhythm of two mechanics on the same shift working the same project night after night. Most of their conversations regarded the project, challenges to overcome, tools to pass back and forth. But she had also learned that Nelson’s mother used to work with her father, was a nurse before moving down to the Deep to become a doctor. She also learned that Nelson had built the last two cleaning suits, had fitted Holston before cleaning, had just missed being assigned to her. Juliette had decided that this project was as much for his absolution as hers. He had put in long hours that she didn’t think she could expect from anyone else. They were both looking to make things right.
Selecting a flat screwdriver from the tool rack, she began scraping caulk from around the lid of the trunk. Nelson chose another driver and worked his side. When their efforts met, she checked with him, and they pried the lid open to reveal the metal container from the airlock bench. Lifting this out, they rested it on a cleared work surface. Juliette hesitated. From the walls, a dozen cleaning suits looked down on them in silent disapproval.
But they had taken all precautions. Even ludicrous ones. The suits they were wearing had been stripped down of all the excess padding, making it easier to work. The gloves as well. Every concession Lukas had asked for, she had provided. It’d been like Shirly with the backup generator and the dig, going so far as to throttle back the main genny to reduce the power load, even rigging the tunnel with blast charges in case of contamination, whatever it took to allow the project to move forward.
Juliette snapped back to the present as she realized Nelson was waiting on her. She grabbed the lid and hinged it open, pulled out the samples. There were two of air, one control sample of argon from the airlock, one each of surface and deep soil, and one of desiccated human remains. They were each placed on the workbench, and then the metal container was set aside.
“Where do you want to start?” Nelson asked. He grabbed a small length of steel pipe with a piece of chalk slotted into the end, an improvised writing device for gloved hands. A blackboard slate stood ready on the bench to take notes.
“Let’s start with the air samples,” she said. It had already been several hours in getting the samples down to the lab. Her private fear was that there’d be nothing left of the gaskets by now, nothing to observe. Juliette checked the labels on the containers and found the one marked “2”. It’d been taken near the hills.
“There’s irony here, you know,” Nelson said.
Juliette took the sample container from him and peered through the clear plastic top. “What do you mean?”
“It’s just …” He turned and checked the clock on the wall and scratched the time onto the slate, glanced back guiltily at Juliette. “Being allowed to do this, to see what’s out there, to even talk about it. I mean, I put your suit together. I was lead tech on the sheriff’s suit.” He frowned behind his clear dome. Juliette could see a shine on his brow. “I remember helping him get dressed.”
It was his third or fourth awkward attempt at an apology, and Juliette appreciated it. “You were just doing your job,” she assured him. And then she thought just how powerful that sentiment was, how far down a nasty road that could take a person, shuffling along and simply doing their job.
“But the irony is that this room—” He waved a glove at the suits peering down from the walls. “Even my mom thought this room was here to help people, help cleaners survive for as long as possible, help explore the outside world that nobody’s supposed to talk about. And finally, here we are. More than talking about it.”
Juliette didn’t say anything, but he was right. It was a room of both hope and dread. “What we yearn to find and what’s out there are two different things,” she eventually said. “Let’s stay focused.”
Nelson nodded and readied his chalk. Juliette shook the first sample container until the two gaskets inside separated. The durable one from Supply was perfectly whole. The yellow marks on the edge were still there. The other gasket was in far worse shape. Its red marks were already gone, the edges eaten away by the air inside the container. The same was true of the two samples of heat tape adhered to the bottom. The square piece from Supply was intact. She had cut the one from IT into a triangle in order to tell them apart. It had a small hole eaten through it.
“I’d say an eighth gone on the sample two gasket,” Juliette said. “One hole in the heat tape three millimeters across. Both Supply samples appear fine.”
Nelson wrote her observations down. This was how she had decided to measure the toxicity of the air, by using the seals and heat tape designed to rot out there and compare it to the ones she knew would last. She passed him the container so he could verify and realized that this was their first bit of data. This was confirmation as great as her survival on the outside. The equipment pulled from the cleaning suit storage bays was meant to fail. Juliette felt chills at the momentous nature of this first step. Already, her mind raced with all the experiments to perform next. And they hadn’t yet opened the containers to see what the air inside was like.
“I confirm an eighth of wear on the gasket,” Nelson said, peering inside the container. “I would go two and a half mils on the tape.”
“Mark two and a half,” she said. One way she would change this next time would be to keep their own slates. Her observations might affect his and vice versa. So much to learn. She grabbed the next sample while Nelson scratched his numbers.
“Sample one,” she said. “This one was from the ramp.” Peering inside, she spotted the whole gasket that had to be from Supply. The other gasket was half worn. It had nearly pinched all the way through in one place. Tipping the container upside down and rattling it, she was able to get the gasket to rest against the clear lid. “That can’t be right,” she said. “Let’s see that lamp.”
Nelson swiveled the arm of the worklight toward her. Juliette aimed it upward, bent over the workbench, and twisted her body and head awkwardly to peer past the dilapidated gasket toward the shiny heat tape beyond.
“I … I’d say half wear on the gasket. Holes in the heat tape five … no, six mils across. I need you to look at this.”
Nelson marked down her numbers before taking the sample. He returned the light to his side of the bench. She hadn’t expected a huge difference between the two samples, but if one sample was worse, it should be the one from the hills, not the ramp. Not where they were pumping out good air.
“Maybe I pulled them out in the wrong order,” she said. She grabbed the next sample, the control. She’d been so careful outside, but she did remember her thoughts being scrambled. She had lost count at one point, had held one of the canisters open too long. That’s what it was.
“I confirm,” Nelson said. “A lot more wear on these. Are you sure this one was from the ramp?”
“I think I screwed up. I held one of them open too long. Dammit. We might have to throw those numbers out, at least for any comparison.”
“That’s why we took more than one sample,” Nelson said. He coughed into his helmet, which fogged the dome in front of his face. He cleared his throat. “Don’t beat yourself up.”
He knew her well enough. Juliette grabbed the control sample, cursing herself under her breath, and wondered what Lukas was thinking out there in the hall, listening in on his radio. “Last one,” she said, rattling the container.
Nelson waited, chalk poised above the slate. “Go ahead.”
“I don’t …” She aimed the light inside. She rattled the container. Sweat trickled down her jaw and dripped from her chin. “I thought this was the control,” she said. She set the sample down and grabbed the next container, but it was full of soil. Her heart was pounding, her head spinning. None of this made sense. Unless she’d pulled the samples out in the wrong order. Had she screwed it all up?
“Yeah, that’s the control sample,” Nelson said. He tapped the canister she’d just checked with his length of pipe. “It’s marked right there.”
“Gimme a sec,” she said. Juliette took a few deep breaths. She peered inside the control sample once again, which had been collected inside the airlock. It should have captured nothing but argon. She handed the container to Nelson.
“Yeah, that’s not right,” he said. He shook the container. “Something’s not right.”
Juliette could barely hear. Her mind raced. Nelson peered inside the control sample.
“I think …” He hesitated. “I think maybe a seal fell out when you opened the lid. Which is no big deal. These things happen. Or maybe …”
“Impossible,” she said. She had been careful. She remembered seeing the seals in there. Nelson cleared his throat and placed the control sample on the workbench. He adjusted the worklight to point directly down into it. Both of them leaned over. Nothing had fallen out, she was sure of it. But then, she had made mistakes. Everyone was capable of them—
“There’s only one seal in there,” Nelson said. “I really think maybe it fell—”
“The heat tape,” Juliette said. She adjusted the light. There was a flash from the bottom of the container where a piece of tape was stuck. The other piece was gone. “Are you telling me that an adhered piece of tape fell out as well?”
“Well then, containers are out of order,” he said. “We have them backwards. This makes perfect sense if we got them all backwards. Because the one from the hill isn’t quite as worn as the ramp sample. That’s what it is.”
Juliette had thought of that, but it was an attempt to match what she thought she knew to what she was seeing. The whole point of going out was to confirm suspicions. What did it mean that she was seeing something completely different?
And then it hit her like a wrench to the skull. It hit her like a great betrayal. A betrayal by a machine that was always good to her, like a trusted pump that suddenly ran backwards for no apparent reason. It hit her like a loved one turning his back while she was falling, like some great bond that wasn’t simply taken away but never truly existed.
“Luke,” she said, hoping he was listening, that he had his radio on. She waited. Nelson coughed.
“I’m here,” he answered, his voice thin and distant. “I’ve been following.”
“The argon,” Juliette said, watching Nelson through both of their domes. “What do we know about it?”
Nelson blinked the sweat from his eyes.
“Know what?” Lukas said. “There’s a periodic table in there somewhere. Inside one of the cabinets, I think.”
“No,” Juliette said, raising her voice so she could be sure he heard. “I mean, where does it come from? Are we even sure what it is?”
Silo 1
25
There was a rattle in Donald’s chest, a flapping of some loosely connected thing, an internal alarm that his condition was deteriorating – that he was getting worse. He forced himself to cough, as much as he hated to, as much as his diaphragm was sore from the effort, as much as his throat burned and muscles ached. He leaned forward in his chair and hacked until something deep inside him tore loose and skittered across his tongue, was spat into his square of fetid cloth.
He folded the cloth rather than look and collapsed back into his chair, sweaty and exhausted. He took a deep, less-rattly breath. Another. A handful of cool gasps that didn’t quite torture him. Had anything ever felt so great as a painless breath?
Glancing around the room in a daze, he absorbed all that he had once taken for granted: remnants of meals, a deck of cards, a butterflied paperback with browned pages and striated spine – signs of shifts endured but not suffered. He was suffering. He suffered the wait before Silo 18 answered. He studied the schematic of all the other silos that he fretted over. Dead worlds is what he saw. All of them would die except for one. There was a tickle in his throat, and he knew for certain that he would be dead before he decided anything, before he found some way to help or choose or steer the project off its suicidal course. He was the only one who knew or cared – and his knowledge and compassion would be buried with him.
What was he thinking, anyway? That he could fix things? That he could put right a world he had helped destroy? The world was long past fixing. The world was long past setting to right. One glimpse of green fields and blue skies from a drone, and his mind had tumbled out of sorts. Now it’d been so long since that one glimpse that he’d begun to doubt it. He knew how the cleanings worked. He knew better than to trust the vision of some machine.