"Interfere? Interfere with what, sir?" She couldn't mask her anger. It was their job, as angels, to protect and watch over humanity. She'd never once heard of guardians who "kept their distance."
The thought that Jamie—or Mason and Shay—might be less than well protected galled her.
Kiel regarded her calmly. "Sunera, Jamie and his siblings fight demons, darkness. They are in the battlefield nearly every day. If their own guardians were visible or intrusive, then the demons would spot them. The Angels' ability to fight would be nullified, because the demons would cower and not come near. We both know that they are drawn and compelled to battle human hunters like the Angel siblings."
"While we are forced to stand aside and watch the bloodshed and pain."
"We cannot interfere with free will. You know the parameters."
Sunny thought of how oddly gentle Jamie had been with her, the way he'd ignited her, even while seeming vulnerable. He was beautiful, and demons sought his blood every day . . . while his guardians were held at bay by heaven itself. "You're using them, and that's not right."
Kiel rumbled his displeasure at the comment, and she heard another glass pane crack. "They are endowed with spiritual gifts that few humans ever even know about. The Lord has called them.... They embrace their gifts."
"And you put them at risk with inadequate coverage. No wonder I never saw any angels around them . . . and I couldn't understand, not from the first time I met Shay. It's like you're dangling them as bait, without sufficient protection. If their guardian angels keep that kind of distance, they're practically on their own."
"Enough! " Kiel roared, a blast of warm wind filling the space. His wings expanded; his countenance blinded her.
She fell to her knees, trembling. Impertinence never was tolerated by her commanders, and she hastened to make amends. "Forgive me."
Instantly Kiel's strong hand touched the crown of her head, his fury vanished, replaced by kindness and compassion.
"You care deeply for all humans, and these Angels are your friends. Trust me when I say we do not leave them at risk. Jamie is guarded by angels, the Shades by many more. They watch from afar unless needed. Even Jamie has seen his guardians on occasion, in the midst of heated battle. That's how he recognized what I am the moment he saw me. Jamie alone has three guardians."
She looked up in shock, still kneeling. "Three?" She'd never heard of a mortal with three guardian angels. Even two was exceedingly rare.
Kiel smiled again, gentleness in his bright, glowing eyes. "You see now that he is special."
Yes, Jamie was special; she'd figured that out the moment they'd kissed. Before. There was something so powerful and beautiful in him, he almost seemed like he was an angel, and not just by name.
Kiel continued, "You understand why you must not allow him to touch you again?"
She nodded, tears filling her eyes. "Yes, Kiel. I understand."
"Then why the tears, young one?" He patted her cheek.
The tears came harder and she shook her head, avoiding Kiel's strong gaze. "I should not say."
He forced her to look up at him. "You should not hold silent."
There weren't words. How could you tell another angel that your deepest wish, the gravest, most important desire in your heart, was to be human? To know what it was to love another human, to experience the power of that love in mortal life? All these years, watching from afar, Sunny had felt an outsider, forever looking through the glass at what she never could have herself. That feeling had intensified tenfold once she'd been sent to Earth as Kate's personal guardian, after being placed in human form.
And now recently, having watched Kate find such beautiful love with Dillon, all that longing had multiplied even more. When Kate had been a little girl, and Sunny was watching over her already, Kate's favorite movie had been The Little Mermaid. Even then Sunny had identified with Ariel, longing to be human, to find her place on Earth. Now she felt as if she'd found her very own song in Jamie's arms, only to be denied her voice.
She could explain none of this to Kiel, nor would she try.
But his eyes revealed a deep understanding of those unspoken words. "This is why touching them intimately is forbidden. It unlocks emotions that should never belong to us." For a moment, Kiel's gaze grew long, almost sad, and she wondered if he'd walked this same path of temptation himself at one time. But then he looked back at her. "Do not kiss James Angel again, continue in your role as Kate's guardian, and all shall be well."
She nodded, wiping at her tears. "Yes, sir, understood."
All shall be well. But how could it be, now that she knew what it was to be in Jamie Angel's arms?
Jamie stared numbly at the flat screen. All around him, his family and friends were laughing and talking, cheering on the bowl game, but he could barely hear a word. Sunny Renfroe was an angel.
He, a man who'd spent his entire adulthood trying to serve God with his demon fighting, had kissed someone sacred. Someone pure.
Surely he'd be damned to hell. Certainly a giant heavenly hand would materialize any moment and for one specific purpose: to yank him off the sofa and send him straight to the fiery pit.
You just didn't go and seduce an angel. Never mind that she'd shown up at his house disguised as a human.Who are you kidding? You knew she wasn't a mortal from the moment you met her.
He'd known, and yet he'd contrived a plan to seduce her, and look what had happened. He'd quite possibly caused her a great deal of harm, while he continued to live his everyday human life.
"Jamie? Did you hear me?" Shay dropped down onto the sofa right beside him. "You're zoned. What's wrong?" She studied him, seeming genuinely concerned. "And you look like you just saw a dark legion or something. You're actually pale. And your eyes are bloodshot."
He rubbed his temples; his head had been hurting ever since he'd looked at the glowing angel—he'd done that before Sunny had issued the warning. Now his head throbbed and his eyes burned.
"Jamie," Shay whispered again, glancing around at the others who talked and laughed, oblivious to his torment. Shay knew him far too well. Without waiting for him to reply, she took him by the hand. "Come with me."
He shook his head. "Can't talk about it," he mumbled, closing his eyes.
Shay leaned right up against him. "You're scaring me, so I'm not giving you a choice. You either come with me down to the cellar, or I turn off the television and alert Mason, Dillon, and everyone else to the fact that you've obviously been spooked."
"And Sunny," he suggested miserably. "Don't you want to alert her, too?"
Shay glanced around the room. "She didn't come back with you?" his sister asked in surprise. "I just assumed . . ."
He didn't say a word, just kept rubbing his burning eyes.
"Talk to me, Jamie," Shay insisted. "Let's get out of here so you can tell me what's going on."
He rose from the sofa with a weary sigh. "This life of ours . . . it really does suck sometimes."
Jamie pulled volume after volume off the shelves of the cellar library. This small downstairs room, adjacent to their wine cellar, housed all their family's lore on demon fighting, the occult, God, angels. . . you name it, and they had texts about it.
Shay sat at his desk in the antique swivel chair, watching his frantic movements. "What are you doing, James Dixon?"
"I'm not ready to talk about what happened."
"I didn't ask you to."
"You did earlier," he argued, retrieving a particularly weathered volume about angelic beings.
"It's why you followed me down here."
"Nooooo," Shay said. "I followed you down here because I'm worried."
"About Sunny." He carted another three volumes to the table and deposited them, then returned to searching the shelves.
Shay rocked back in the chair, watching him. "I have a distinct feeling Sunny is perfectly fine.
Whereas you're the one who's got that deer-in-the-headlights expression permanently frozen on your face."
He couldn't tell Shay about what he'd seen, what he knew. Sunny had begged him not to, and hadn't he caused her enough trouble already? How could he violate her last request of him?
Last request. The words caused a chill to chase down his spine. What if she never came back to the house? What if that huge angel had . . . What would the guy do? Whisk her back to heaven?
Destroy her? He couldn't even contemplate what would happen when an angel received a scolding.
Well, that wasn't entirely true. When Lucifer and his crew had rebelled, they were cast out of heaven . . . and they became demons.
The chill he'd experienced became full-on tremors as he prayed and begged God to give Sunny a break. This had been his doing entirely. She shouldn't have to suffer for his folly and sin.
Shay walked toward the table where he was massing the various volumes—books he hoped might explain why or how an angel would live as a human. He'd never even heard of such a thing, much less encountered it. Sure, he'd seen angelic entities on the battlefield from time to time; he knew Mason had as well, even while fighting over in Iraq. But angels in human form? Not charted territory for any of them.
Shay began thumbing through the stack, reading off titles. "Angelic Host: Configuring the Armies of Heaven? Understanding Heavenly Powers?" She laughed. "So, you took Sunny on a walk and accused her of being an angel or something? Jamie, she really, truly is human. You gotta get over this obsession."
He swallowed hard; he hated keeping secrets from Shay or Mason. It had never worked in the past, not for any of them. Like that corrosive pain Mace had lived with until he'd admitted to his family that he was gay.
Surely Sunny wouldn't have begged him to keep her secret from Shay if she'd understood how intuitive his sister was, the way she'd needle and prod him until he admitted why he was so upset.