He lets out a sigh. We’re knee to knee in the dew-covered grass. Leaning forward, he rests his forehead against mine and cups the back of my neck with one gentle hand.
His touch sends a bolt of heat down my spine. I’m aware of how close his lips are. Is he aware of mine? Does he know how much I need to close that distance between us? To kiss him? It takes everything in me to stay completely still. He rejected me the last time we kissed, said he couldn’t be with me, couldn’t touch me tenderly anymore.
He’s touching me tenderly now.
The lingering drugs in my system make me brave. I tilt my chin up, whisper, “Kyol.”
“Kaesha.” The word comes out as a sweet sigh. He’s called me that only a few times before, and though he says there’s no translation for it, the affection in his voice is absolutely clear. Tension leaves his body. He gives in, pressing his lips against mine. The cool air doesn’t touch me anymore. There’s only him. His touch. His heat. His chaos lusters. But I know before he deepens the kiss that he’s going to end it soon. His arms move to my shoulders, tighten as he battles with what he wants to do and what he should do.
I try to hold on to him, make him hold on to me. It doesn’t work. Just when the kiss reaches the point where it might turn into more, he pulls away. Now, he’s breathing hard.
I draw in a deep breath, trying to calm my racing heart. “I was starting to believe you weren’t real.”
He helps me to my feet. “I’m sorry I didn’t find you sooner.”
“It’s okay. I…Thanks for finding me. For taking care of me.”
He gives me one of his rare smiles. “I’ll always take care of you. Always.”
THIRTEEN
I’VE RELIVED THE same memory a dozen times now. Something’s wrong. Instead of feeling hot from Kyol’s touch, I feel numb, cold, and oddly distant.
I turn my head to the side. It’s dark that way, too, but I feel a presence there. Someone’s gaze. My confusion finally begins to dissipate, and by the time I realize all I need to do to get rid of the darkness is to open my eyes, I remember Rhigh.
My eyes snap open. I’m in my room at the palace. This is where I’ve always stayed when I’ve remained in the Realm overnight. It’s not a large space, but there’s enough room for the bed, a nightstand, and the chest of drawers that’s pushed against the wall beside a small bathroom. It’s simple and it’s comfortable, and ever since the rebels took the palace, I’ve started to think of it as mine.
“Here,” Lena says. I slowly turn my head to the right, see her sitting in a chair beside my bed. She’s holding out a glass.
“Cabus?” I ask. She nods. My hands shake as I take it from her. I hold my breath, take a sip, and do my best not to spit it out.
“It’s not that bad,” she says.
It is that bad, but I’m parched, so I force myself to take another sip. It burns down my throat. It’s not an entirely unpleasant sensation considering how cold I am. Cabus is used to replenish a fae’s energy if they overexert themselves by fissuring too quickly or using too much magic. It’s supposed to help rehydrate and reenergize humans, too. Personally, I think a glass of Gatorade would do the same thing, but I can’t exactly run out to a convenience store to buy some.
“Where’s Aren?” I ask.
“I sent him away.”
I lift an eyebrow.
She scowls. “He wasn’t doing you or anyone else any good sitting here waiting for you to wake up.”
“How long was I out?”
“A few hours,” she says dismissively. Because, you know, people fall into icy rivers and lose consciousness all the time.
“What were you doing in Nashville?” she asks.
Nashville? It feels like it’s been days since Trev picked me up from there. And what did he tell me? That Sosch went to Lena with a message attached to a collar. Apparently, Lorn didn’t sign that message.
“I was repaying a favor.” I roll to my side, then try to sit up. I’m surprised when my body actually cooperates.
“A favor to whom?” Lena asks.
I’m a little dizzy. I wait for the room to settle then focus on her. She’s dressed in a long, white dress. A wide jaedric belt encircles her slender waist. A series of abira trees are etched into its surface at even intervals. They each have seventeen branches, one for each of the Realm’s provinces, including the ones Atroth dissolved years ago.
“Lorn,” I tell her. By her lack of reaction, she already knew that. “He said you guys had an argument.”
She hmmphs, and her already unsmiling face turns stony. She reaches up and tucks a long strand of blond hair behind her ear. It’s an action I’ve rarely seen her do, and it makes her look…Softer is the best word I can think of.
“You read the shadows for him, I presume.” After I nod, she asks, “Whose?”
“A fae named Aylen.”
“And who was this Aylen?”
“According to Lorn, an associate,” I say. Then, I remember the connection to the fae in Rhigh. “She fissured to Eksan.”
Her perfectly sculpted eyebrows go up. “The same Eksan that’s on the southern edge of the Daric Ocean?”
“I tried to tell Aren, but he fissured out before I could. Then we had to figure out how to get out of the city and—”
“And you found out about his connection to Thrain.”
That’s not what I was going to say, but now that it’s out there, I shrug. “Yeah.”
There’s a knock on my open door. A magically lit orb on the corridor wall outlines Aren’s lean frame in a soft, blue light. He looks like something out of myth standing there. Appropriately so.
“Is it okay if I come in?” he asks. There’s a cautious note in his tone, like he’s afraid I’ll say no and send him away.
Lena rises before I answer. I try to stand up, too, but my head spins when I lean forward.
“Easy, McKenzie,” Aren says, coming to my side. He places a hand on my shoulder, keeping me still. “You hit your head hard when you fell.”
His palm warms my skin through my thin, fae-made shirt. I’ve been changed out of my wet clothes. The pants I’m wearing are black, loose, and comfortable. I sit on the edge of the bed and face Aren, feeling my strength slowly seeping back into my muscles.
“You scared me,” he says. There’s a glimmer of leftover fear in his silver eyes. I don’t know what happened after I went under the water, but I know I didn’t get out of the river on my own. He must have dragged me out, dragged me through the gate, and brought me here.
“I told you your plan was insane,” I say.
A small grin. “I thought we’d have a few more seconds before they reacted.”
If I wasn’t still a little dizzy, I’d roll my eyes. Instead, I give him an exaggerated glare. His smile widens, then his gaze goes to my lips. Suddenly, I’m conscious of them. I’m conscious of just how close he is. His hand is on my side instead of my shoulder now.
There’s an exasperated sigh from the doorway.
“We’re meeting with the high nobles after sunrise,” Lena says. “Don’t be late.”
Aren just nods, not taking his eyes off me. When she leaves, closing the door behind her, he asks softly, “Are we okay?”