I felt Derek’s hand tighten against mine and then a sudden feeling of heaviness settled on my chest as we greeted more of our guests. It wasn’t until Kyle approached that I placed the reason behind my sudden melancholy. Seeing Kyle as human made me remember what had to happen tomorrow. We were going to test the cure and we had no assurance whatsoever that it was going to work on Derek.
Kyle smiled at me as if he could read my mind. “It’s going to be okay, Sofia.” He cast a longing look at Ian and Anna who were dancing. He swallowed hard and then looked at Derek. I could tell by the reaction on Derek’s face that he was thinking what I was thinking.
When Kyle left us with his congratulations, I couldn’t help but turn toward Derek and hug him as tightly as I could, clinging to him.
“I don’t ever want to lose you,” I confessed breathlessly against his ear.
He shook his head. “You won’t, Sofia. You can never lose me.”
He sounded so sure of it, but the heaviness in my chest remained. Suddenly, I began to feel greedy for him. I wanted to make most of the time from then until the following day. “Can we go now? Please? I want you all to myself…”
“My thoughts exactly.”
We made as gracious an exit as possible and found ourselves speeding our way to the Lighthouse, another reminder that the moments we were spending together were borrowed. We didn’t even plan a honeymoon, because we weren’t sure if we were going to have one.
Of course, we still wanted our first night as a married couple to be intimate and special, so when I was asked by the girls where we wanted to spend the night, no place seemed more special and intimate to us than the Lighthouse.
“Sacred space,” I spoke out loud, just before Derek pushed me against the door that led to the octagonal room on top of the Lighthouse. I then responded to his kiss, my hands clinging to his neck.
His lips departed from mine. “What?” he asked.
“Sacred space,” I repeated breathlessly, as I twisted the doorknob to show him what we did with the room. “That’s what Rosa called this place. Ashley says that the room has an energy to it… something that says that it belongs to us. Just us.”
He smiled when he saw the room. The sectional couch in the middle of the room was shoved to one side. In its place was a thick mattress with linen sheets and a thick red blanket. White rose petals were scattered all over it. Candles surrounded the room. Derek had them lit within seconds.
“They were right.” He nodded. “This is our sacred space.”
I began to walk toward him, but halted immediately when to my surprise, he stepped away from me. His smile faded as he looked at me from head to toe. His breath visibly hitched as his electric blue eyes rose to my face, causing me to shiver with desire.
I swallowed hard, sensing his tension. His hands balled into fists and his muscles went rigid, as if he were trying to gain control. I didn’t have to ask what was going on in his mind. It’d been a long time since we last made love, a long time since he swore that he wouldn’t take me to his bed until after he’d married me.
I gave him a soft smile. I reached toward my back and tried to unlace my corset. My eyes were fixed on Derek. I actually enjoyed seeing how nervous he was. I knew I wouldn’t be able to finish the task myself so I unlaced it as far as I could before walking toward him and asking for his help.
I couldn’t stifle a giggle when he flinched as I took my first step. “Relax, won’t you?” I told him, unable to hide my amusement. “You’re acting like it’s the first time you’ve ever be with a woman.”
It didn’t help to ease the tense look on his face. I still walked toward him, lifting my hair up so that he could undo the laces. I could feel his fingers trembling as he went about the task.
Once we were able to remove the corset, I turned to face him. I then began to pull his tux off and unbutton his shirt. I was already on the fourth button, when his hand clutched mine, stopping me from continuing the task.
I raised my eyes to his questioningly. “What’s wrong, Derek? Don’t you want this?”
“I want this more than you can imagine right now, Sofia, but…” He gulped.
“You’re not going to hurt me, Derek,” I assured him. “Relax.” I laid my hand over his chest and looked into his eyes. “I trust you.”
I stood to my toes and planted a soft kiss on his lips. It appeared that was all the approval he needed, because his hands clasped around my waist. He no longer tried to stop me from continuing to unbutton his shirt.
Being keenly aware of how precious each second we had with each other was, we made our first night as husband and wife as memorable and sweet and passionate as we possibly could. I was his and he was mine, and on that night, to us, the Lighthouse truly became our sacred space.
Chapter 44: Derek
She’s my wife. I woke up to find her sleeping form next to mine, our bare forms intertwined on the soft mattress beneath us. Waking up next to her, knowing that she was officially mine, that my name was also hers, took my breath away. I couldn’t pry my eyes away from her lovely face.
Peaceful. Serene. Beautiful.
All the compliments in the world wouldn’t have been able to describe her.
When her eyes opened and her face brightened into a wide smile, it felt like a piece of heaven.
“Good morning, husband,” she greeted.
“Good morning, wife,” I responded.
Then, we both heaved a sigh. I saw despair in her eyes as she ran her fingers against my cheek. I ached under her touch.
We didn’t need to say out loud what was bothering us both. It hung over us like a cloud of premonition and as much as we tried to ignore it, it was there. We had to face the reality that I had to test the cure. There was no other option.
“Do we have to do this?” she croaked out.
I didn’t respond. We both already knew the answer to that. Instead, I pulled her against me, kissed her on the cheek and whispered into her ear. “Everything’s going to be alright, Sofia. I promise.”
“You can’t promise me that.” She shook her head. “You don’t know for sure.”
“You’ve always had more faith than I do, Sofia. Don’t let it run out now.”
It broke my heart when tears started to brim in her eyes. “I won’t know what to do if I ever lose you.”
“You won’t. We have to believe that you won’t.”
I kissed her and once again took her in my arms, making love to her, assuring her that no one could take away from us what we had. I whispered all the assurances I could think of into her ear, hoping that I could convince her and also myself that all would be well. By the time we both reached our climax, she was sobbing. Each sob cut me to the core.
“Sofia…”
Before I could say anything, her lips were on mine, her hand gripping a clump of my hair. Once our lips parted, she gazed up into my eyes and nodded.
“Everything is going to be alright,” she proclaimed, as if saying it with conviction would somehow make it happen. She said the words again. “We’re going to be together.”
I rolled over on the mattress beside her, and we both lay on our backs, breathless. What was to come still weighed heavily on our minds.
“The sun is going to rise soon,” I said, knowing that we had to test out the cure and have me enter the pit before the sun reached its peak.
“Maybe we shouldn’t do this. Maybe we can postpone it… Tomorrow maybe… Or let’s have our honeymoon first,” she begged.
I shook my head. “No. I want to be human, Sofia. I can’t be a vampire one day longer.” I turned to my side and let my eyes fall over her lovely bare form. My stomach turned at the sight of a few bruises on her thigh and neck.
When she realized what I was looking at, she quickly covered up with the blanket. “It’s nothing, Derek.”
“Don’t tell me it’s nothing. I should be able to make love with my wife without worrying about hurting her. You’ve never made excuses for me, Sofia. Don’t start now.”
She rolled to her side to face me. She stared at me with those green eyes, her fears and doubts evident on her face. Eventually, she came to an acceptance of what had to be done and my heart leaped and sank when she did. She shut her eyes and nodded. “Very well then.”
Sofia gave me a soft peck on the cheek before she sat up on the mattress. My breath hitched when she began to pull her auburn mass of hair onto one side of her neck. I couldn’t help but cringe upon realizing what she was getting at. She was offering her neck to me.
“You haven’t been fed for ages,” she said.
“You’re my wife… I can’t… I just… Not anymore.”
“You need an immune’s blood in your system. I would rather we do it here than in front of everyone else. Besides, this is the last time you’ll ever have me this way.” She paused and her eyes met mine. “This is the last time you’ll ever feel the power of my blood coursing through your veins, the last time you’ll feel the ecstasy that it brings.”
I sat up as I took in all of her magnificence. She was a feast to my eyes. Feeding on my young wife on the morning after our marriage was a stark reminder of why I wanted to escape what I had become. The battle raging inside me was now full-blown. The moment I dared look at the nook of her neck, generously offered up to me, my senses went on overdrive, my blood pounding within. I wanted her. I wanted her badly, but a part of me hated myself for doing this to her. I was supposed to protect her.
One last time… I shut my eyes as I drew close to her. One last time and I hope I never have to do this again. I bit into her neck, never missing that short intake of breath she always took whenever I began to drink from her. After this, never again will I put you through this, Sofia, I thought, but then the thought quickly faded into a blur when the effects of her blood running through mine began to consume me.
No matter how much my mind fought against my enjoyment of drinking from her, my nature made it impossible. I drank from her and I drank deep. Guilt took over me and I wondered why. It’s not like I haven’t done it so many times before. Something about that morning was different. I hated every moment of it, but I couldn’t stop until I was satiated. Somehow, my system knew what I was about to put myself through and it was begging for her light inside me, but as I drank, it felt as if darkness was taking hold.