The three of us watched her leave in silence, and finally, trembling a little, I let Cole lead us up to the flat. He shot me a worried look before disappearing into his bedroom, and I felt more than heard Cam follow me into the kitchen.
The heat of him enveloped me as he pressed against my back, stilling my hand on the kettle before wrapping his arms around my waist. I slid my hands over his and leaned into him. ‘You okay?’ he asked softly, genuine concern in his voice.
I shrugged, not really sure what I was feeling. ‘I guess. I feel bad.’
‘If it makes you feel any better, I never made any promises to Becca. We were very casual.’
‘Malcolm and I weren’t.’
Cam’s arms tightened. ‘Did it bother you? What she said about her and Malcolm last night?’
I didn’t know. I thought it did. I just wasn’t sure if it was because I still had feelings for him or because my vanity was pricked. ‘It just reinforced the truth. It wasn’t real between us.’
The touch of Cam’s warm lips on my jaw sent a delicious shiver down my spine and I momentarily forgot everything. ‘Where am I sleeping tonight?’
My skin grew warm just at the prospect of tonight. ‘My bed is too small for us to share but I can’t leave Cole alone. Why don’t I come down to see you? I won’t be able to stay, though.’
‘That’s fine, baby. Listen, I said I’d meet Nate for a drink.’ He pulled back and turned me in his arms. ‘I’ll see you back at my flat tonight?’
‘Yeah. Around eleven thirty?’
‘I’ll be there.’ He dipped his head to press a light kiss to my lips, but I reached up to cup his jaw, drawing his mouth back to mine. I deepened the kiss, my tongue teasing his, my fingernails scraping gently along his stubbly jawline until my fingers clenched in the hair at his nape. I kissed him until he had to pull back to draw breath.
Eyes a little wide and unfocused, Cam nodded and reluctantly let me go. ‘Let’s make it ten thirty.’
17
‘I was thinking we should both get checked out so we can stop using condoms. You’re on the pill, right?’
My hair whispered across the pillow as I turned to look at Cam lying next to me, his skin glistening with a faint sheen of sweat. I was still panting from our exertions and it took me a minute to process what he’d asked. ‘Yeah. I’ll get checked this week.’
‘Me too. I should be fine. I got checked before Becca and she and I always used protection.’
‘A little friendly advice.’ I sighed, looking up at the ceiling. ‘Don’t talk about your sexcapades with another woman seconds after having sex with your current woman.’
‘No need to be jealous, baby. You’re a ten – she was a five. Maybe a six on a good day.’
I rolled my eyes, pretending not to be satisfied that Cam thought I was a better lay than Becca. ‘And definitely don’t score them.’
Cam laughed, rolling on to his side so he could pull me to him. He tried to kiss me, but I was still slightly pissed off that he’d mentioned Becca, so I covered his mouth with my hand. He kissed it and said something, but it was muffled against my skin.
I pulled my hand back. ‘What was that?’
His eyes roamed my face, a small smile playing on his lips. ‘I said I’m sorry.’
‘Good.’
Dipping his head, his eyes serious, Cam spoke, his lips grazing mine. ‘You ever try to keep this mouth from me again and I’ll find very creative forms of use for it as punishment.’
I shivered. This side of him in bed was a real turn-on. ‘It’s my mouth. It’s up to me who gets near it.’
‘True,’ he acquiesced, his hand trailing down my hip to wind up between my legs. I jolted involuntarily at the press of his thumb on my clit. ‘But last night you agreed that we were together, and being together means that mouth belongs to me. I don’t like people hiding my things.’ He ended that pronouncement with a roguish grin. His thumb circled my clit and I gasped, clutching his wrist, urging him on.
I wanted to call him on his crap, but I couldn’t speak. Couldn’t think. My body had already been treated to a tremendous orgasm and was now positioned on the precipice of another.
I came quickly, I came hard, and I came with a cry that Cam quieted against his mouth. His kiss was wet and dirty, and its purpose was to swallow my climax and stamp me with his ownership.
The bastard was lucky I was feeling equally possessive.
Gripping his head tight, I kissed him back just as voraciously and when he moved to catch his breath, I nipped his lip. Hard.
He hissed, his eyes widening, his tongue flicking out to lick the hurt.‘If mine is yours, yours is mine.’
He liked that. I could tell by the way his eyes crinkled at the corners. ‘Deal.’
I liked that too. I liked that I felt comfortable enough to be myself with him. My thumb caught the nip in an affectionate gesture of halfhearted apology. ‘I need to go.’ I moved to roll away from him, only to be drawn to a halt by his arm across my waist.
‘Stay. Just for a little while.’
Worry immediately caused my whole body to tense, obliterating all my happy thoughts about us as a couple. This felt an awful lot like déjà vu – me hurrying home to Cole, leaving an annoyed man lying in bed. Before, it had mattered on some level that I not upset my relationship. With Cam it mattered on every level. My brows drew together in confusion and anxiety. I’d assumed things would be different with Cam. That he understood. Only seconds ago I was ‘Miss Comfortable’ and now I was back to being who I was suddenly very sick and tired of being.
‘What?’ He tugged on my waist, trying to urge me closer. ‘What’s causing this?’ His fingers traced my frown lines.
‘Nothing.’
‘It’s not nothing.’ With an effort, he forced me to turn completely back to him. ‘Your muscles are locked up tight. Why?’
On the one hand, I wanted us to be okay. To be open. To be real. On the other hand, I didn’t want him to think I was questioning him so soon into this. I didn’t want to leave his bed pissed off at him and vice versa.
I chewed my lip, taking far too long to think it over.
‘Jesus, Johanna.’ He pulled back before I had a chance to say anything, his eyebrows dipped in anger. ‘I’m not bloody them.’ He threw the sheets off of us as he moved to leave the bed.
Dammit! ‘I’m just worried,’ I huffed, feeling my cheeks heat at the coming confession.
Cam grew still, twisting his head to look at me over his shoulder. ‘Go on.’
I made a face at his bossiness and sat up, drawing my knees to my chest in a subconscious need to protect myself. ‘I’m worried you’ll get bored with the fact that I can’t … accommodate you. Because I have Cole and’ – I braced myself, wondering how he’d react to my next piece of brutal honesty – ‘he’ll always come first.’
In seconds I was flat on my back, Cam looking down at me, his eyes soft again, and better yet, they were filled with understanding. ‘You never have to worry about that. I get it. I understand. Cole comes first. Of course he does. He’s a bloody kid who needs you. I’m not going to get bored or pissed off. And frankly if I do, you should dump my ass.’
Something shifted in my chest, something huge and overwhelming and scary. That something was my feelings for Cam. They were settled inside me now, held in place by an immovable anchor. ‘Are you for real?’ I asked, giving him a weak smile, trying to cover how emotional I felt.
Cam smiled back at me as he placed a soft kiss on my mouth. ‘Completely real, baby. But if you need proof …’ He pressed his knee between my legs, nudging them open, the wicked look in his eyes telling me I wasn’t going anywhere just yet.
After everything Cole and I had been through, it was almost difficult allowing myself to feel this happy. I was high on Cameron MacCabe, and although most of me loved it, this small part of me, the small part that couldn’t let go of the past, was terrified by it. Fortunately for us both, I’d watched Joss almost destroy her relationship with Braden over that exact thing, and I had no wish to follow in her footsteps. It was only two days in, and I was guessing it would take a small miracle to make me walk away from Tattoo Guy.
What it would take for him to walk away was a different story, but I was determined to try to kill that kind of negative thinking before it spoiled everything for me. I was also resolved not to rock the boat, so when Malcolm texted me on Monday morning while I was at work, I didn’t tell Cam.
So of course I also didn’t tell him that I texted Malcolm back.
Malcolm had proved himself to be a good guy. A gentleman. A friend. It didn’t matter if he’d found solace in the arms of Becca. All that mattered was that he’d been kind to me when we were together. I wasn’t sure I was ready to lose that, so when he asked if I was okay, I told him I was. I apologized again, and I asked him how he was.
I’ll be fine, sweetheart. I miss you. I’m glad we can still talk. x
There was no measuring my feelings of guilt when I read that text.
Friends?
Of course. Let me know if you need anything. I hope you’re happy, Jo. x
Cut me to the quick.
Yeah. You too. x
Cam may or may not have been okay with Malcolm texting me, but I thought it was too soon to broach that subject, especially after the night before and my little confession and all its drama.
I saw him later before he had to go to work and I didn’t say a word.
Tuesday night was our first night working together as a couple. We agreed at the outset that we wouldn’t curb our flirtations with customers, since that increased our tips. I wasn’t looking forward to it, but it made sense for us both. Tuesday night was one of the quietest nights we’d ever had. No flirtations, no incidents.
Thursday night was a little different.
It started off with Phil working the door.
Just as he had done Tuesday night, Cam held my hand all the way to work and all the way into the club when we got to work. He led us down the stairs to the entrance, his warm hand tight in mine, and the first thing we heard was, ‘You’re with this idiot now, eh? I’ve got more money than him.’