I pursed my lips together and shifted my gaze away from the intensity of his. Those gray orbs could get as sharp and as pointed as the blade of a knife when he was using them to peel layers away from whoever they were trained on.
“You have more to offer than your dick, Cy.” He was smart, driven, protective, and he pushed. He pushed and pushed until he shoved you right into wanting to be the kind of person who could match him passion for passion and strength for strength. Not to mention how much he cared about his family and making sure everyone he loved was taken care of. He gave up his own life and his own chance at love in order to preserve a legacy that he never wanted. He sacrificed his own happiness and future to make sure his brothers would have something that would always be theirs. He lost everything so that his father’s hard work and memory would never be forgotten. Right now, he was risking his own neck because he didn’t know what was going on with one of his siblings.
He was absolutely a good time when he was naked and demanding but he brought about a million more important things to the table than his impressive cock. Any woman willing to settle for a few hours in the dark, without experiencing all the other amazing things that made Cy larger than life, was shortchanging herself and him.
“I know that, Leo, but I don’t choose to offer more than what’s in my pants to just any woman. I’m selective because there hasn’t been a woman who made me forget what I had, and made me dream about what I could have . . . until you.” As always, when he said stuff like that, I felt it all the way through my body. His words had power. When he spoke what he meant, it felt like his honesty tore through me and eviscerated everything I thought I knew about caring about another person.
I cleared my throat and lifted a hand to absently rub at my tender shoulder. “We don’t make any sense.”
It hurt to say, but it was true. I wanted this consuming, burning, engulfing thing that coiled and tangled around us to have reason and rationale but it didn’t, which made justifying it and fostering it seem not only impossible but also wasteful. This kind of emotion and uncontrollable reaction should belong to two people who could do something important with it. It deserved to belong to people who could fully appreciate it, instead of the two of us, who were scrambling so hard to exploit it in the little bit of time we had with one another. We weren’t savoring, we were rushing through it, trying to absorb it all before it burned us both out. Cy had scorched me through and through, but I was going to torch him as well, and when we were done, the ashes were going to be blown away.
He reached out and grabbed a piece of my hair that was curling out of control due to the weather. The curl he tugged on sprang right back into its tight ringlet making him grin at me. “It’s been my experience that the devil you know is the one who brings hell to your doorstep. I don’t know why it’s you who makes me feel like I’m functioning fully instead of going through the motions. But it is you, Leo. You make lonely look ugly and a lot harder than it has been these last few years.”
I couldn’t think of anything to say to that because I didn’t want to tell him that I was terrified of what my lonely would look like now that I realized that’s what I’d been all along. With my heart pounding and my skin shivering from the reality of how empty my existence would be once I got home, I changed the subject to the one that was obviously weighing heavily on his mind.
“Do you think the guys who shot at us have Emrys and Sutton?”
His jaw clenched and a muscle ticked in his cheek making him look fierce and ferocious. This was a man who would take care of his own, no matter the personal cost, and there was something about that protective streak that soothed my own abandoned heart. If Cy ever loved me, I knew there was nothing on this Earth that would drive him away. His love was a bond that couldn’t and wouldn’t be broken, making handing over my heart that had been unwanted in the past seem less dangerous.
“I don’t know, but I do know that Sutton will do everything in his power to keep your girl safe if they were taken.” That’s what I was afraid of. Emrys was the easier target but if the men with the guns tried to take her, the middle Warner brother would have made them go through him first. That didn’t bode well, for either of them.
“Why would they take them? If they wanted us off the mountain, why drag them back to the place they’re trying to keep everyone away from?” I hated the questions I was asking but I disliked the answers he was giving me even more.
“They may want to make sure that they aren’t telling anyone where the clearing is, but more than likely if they took them, it’s to use as leverage in case the rangers show up. Or even worse, the DEA.” His tone was heavy with dread but I appreciated the fact that he wasn’t trying to placate me.
“You think they took them to use as hostages?” My voice broke and my hands curled around the reins so tightly that my knuckles turned white.
“Could be. We don’t know anything at this point and it’s better not to speculate. If we start doing that, then it’s going to make us go off halfcocked without a plan. We can’t do that. Right now, we’re operating like we’re going in there to pull my brother and your girl out of the fire. If we start acting like we’re storming the castle for blood and vengeance, all that’s going to get us is panic and pain.” He flicked his head to the side again as the rain picked up and made his inky lashes spike together.
“I don’t know how you can be so calm about everything. Inside, I feel like there are a thousand buzzing bees trying to burst through my skin and every organ and muscle I have feels like it’s tied into a knot. It’s taking every scrap of self-control I have not to freak out and fall apart. I’ve never been so scared in my life.” I refused to think about what my life would be like without Emrys there to keep me grounded. She was my port in the storm; without her in my life, I would endlessly drift. I had to get her back. That was the only option I was allowing.