“You and Logan are in love, Ian.”
“That’s right, we are,” Ian said thoughtfully. “Very much in love. And yet we don’t have a bloodmatch.”
Ian gathered the papers and walked stiffly to the door, while Marco looked after him with a stunned expression. He sat for a long time after Ian left, dreading going back to his rooms, so empty now without Nicky. He was terribly afraid he wouldn’t be able to sleep and would stay awake half the night, haunted by that lost, bitter expression on Nicky’s face.
“That was Dr. Cornsilk. He has some information for you and needs to speak to you at the hospital. Would you like me to come along?” Ian stood at the door of his office early the next morning, his face once more the mask of his calm beta.
Marco nodded, not really wanting to be alone. He stood up and sighed in exhaustion. His prophecy from the night before had come true. He had slept poorly, plagued by restless dreams and a feeling of unease. “Did he say what it was about?”
Ian shook his head. “No, just that you should come right away. He’s found something in the notes about the amnesia.”
Marco nodded and got up from his desk to leave right away. He thought about going by to check on Nicky before he left, even started to go down the hallway to his room, but turned away. He should leave Nicky alone for a while. He could check on him when they returned.
Driving into town, Ian was quiet, barely saying a word, just watching the road. Marco, too, was preoccupied and silent. They drove into the hospital parking lot and made their way inside. Dr. Cornsilk nodded respectfully to his alpha as Marco and Ian came into his office. “It’s good to see you looking so well, Marco. A bit tired, perhaps…”
Marco sat down in a chair in front of his desk. Ian sat beside him. “I’ve been going through some things,” Marco said.
“Oh?” The doctor raised an eyebrow at Marco, but Marco stared steadily back at him, unwilling to say more. “Well, uh, I called you in to speak to you about the amnesia you have with Nicky. I’ve been looking through the records, and we found the name of the man who must have been the one to jab you with the hypodermic needle. We’re almost positive his name was Arthur Bennett. Dr. Arthur Bennett, the doctor in charge of the laboratory at the complex.”
“What the hell did he jab into me?”
Dr. Cornsilk looked down at his file. “From what we can determine, he was working on a genetically engineered virus. This virus was targeted directly at the bloodmatch. As you know, discovering a way to end the blood match was an interest of the Hunters for years. They believed that they could use this to destroy the matches of all the human so-called victims and thus free them from what they termed their bondage to their wolf mates. The idea was to make a vaccine targeted at killing the blood factor causing the match. I think he used one of his experimental vaccines on you, Marco.”
“And that’s why I forgot Nicky? And almost every memory associated with Nicky?”
“Yes, I believe so. According to the records we found, this was his latest vaccine, completely untested on any subjects. You’re damn lucky it didn’t kill you.”
“It destroyed my match with Nicky,” Marco said quietly. “So in one way at least they did destroy me.”
“So no memories have come back at all?”
“One or two—but nothing much.” Marco leaned forward eagerly. “Now that you know what it is, can you cure it? Is there anything you can do?”
The doctor shook his head sadly. “I’m afraid not. The virus that infected you has already gone—it swept through and flooded out certain aspects of the bloodmatch before your wolf antibodies did their job and rid your body of the virus. Unfortunately, it left damage in its wake. Those memories probably will never come back.”
Marco nodded his head slowly. “That’s what I was afraid you’d say. I dissolved my union with Nicky just yesterday.”
Dr. Cornsilk’s mouth fell open in shock. “You did what?”
“I dissolved my union with Nicky. We’re totally incompatible, Doctor. It wasn’t fair to keep him in a union that would never make him happy or fulfilled, and I owe it to my people to give them an alpha’s pet who is my true blood match. Perhaps now I can find my soul mate.”“But Nicky is your soul mate!”
Marco shook his head. “That’s what everyone tells me, but now that the bloodmatch is gone, we could see that we just weren’t compatible with each other. We fought all the time, and he would have ended up hating me—I couldn’t have stood that. So even though it was painful for us both, I had to let him go. Maybe he can find who he’s supposed to be with and find a little happiness.”
Cornsilk shook his head again vigorously. “No! He’s supposed to be with you, don’t you see? The blood match doesn’t produce the love—it only takes away the inhibitions, the prejudices—all the things that get in the way of a wolf recognizing his true love. His true soul mate.”
“I-I don’t understand.”
“Marco, Nicky is not the person you would have chosen for yourself. He’s very nicelooking, yes, but he’s also a man. Perhaps that wouldn’t have been your first choice. Also, forgive me, but your Nicky can be a bit…challenging. I think you, as an alpha wolf, would probably gravitate toward someone who would be more naturally submissive. Someone easier for you to control.”
“Exactly!” Marco exclaimed. “Nicky is a fucking loose cannon!”
“Perhaps that’s so, and that’s why your first inclination would have been to pass him by. But that would have been terribly wrong. The bloodmatch prevents you from ignoring or leaving him, and thereby ensures your ultimate happiness. It compels you to mate with him. Even though you might struggle against it, the bloodmatch is always true. Always perfect. You’re supposed to be with Nicky and if you’re not, then you’ll be doomed never to find happiness again.”
Marco sat in stunned silence. “Why have I never heard of any of this shit before? Why has no one ever explained it to me like this?”
The doctor shrugged. “Perhaps there was never a need before. You found your mate at a young age and seemed perfectly happy with him. Your parents probably never felt the need to explain further.”
Marco looked up with distress evident in his features. “I dissolved our union last night. I hurt him terribly, and I doubt that he’ll ever forgive me.”
The doctor stood up beside him and put a hand on his shoulder. “Perhaps you should try to talk to him. It may not be too late.”
“I-I don’t know what to do anymore. I’m so confused.” Marco stood up and shoved his hands in his pockets. “I feel like I’m being pulled in different directions, and no matter what I decide to do, someone will be hurt. I’ve hurt Nicky—I know that, and I can’t hurt him anymore.”
“You don’t think he’s hurting right now?” Marco spun around to face the angry voice behind him. Dr. Tate stood in the doorway.
“I’m putting you on notice, wolf. I’m going after him, and you better not get in my way. You may not want him anymore, but I do, and after all you’ve done to him, I don’t think he’d take you back even if you tried.” The doctor turned on his heel and walked away, leaving Marco staring after him, rigid with fury.
“Happy birthday, Evan,” Nicky smiled at his friend and handed him the gift he made for him. It was the painting he’d started of a wolf, standing outlined by the moon. A little paint had turned the silver fur into the darker fur of Brett’s wolf. Nicky wanted no reminders of Marco anywhere around him. It had been over three weeks since the dissolution, and his hatred for Marco had grown exponentially with each passing day.
He’d tried to avoid seeing him at all, scheduling his meals for times he knew Marco wouldn’t be around, and taking his feeding from Rory, even though the taste was not good to him, and he had to almost force himself to keep on. Marco had assured him he could continue to take his blood, but the thought of such an intimate connection with Marco made him shudder. He couldn’t—he wouldn’t be so close to him. The memories of other times when he’d fed from Marco, lying beside him on lazy Sundays warm and wrapped up in his body would surely kill him. No, he could never take blood from Marco again, just like he would never make love to Marco again. Never kiss his full lips or hold him as he lay between his thighs.
He shook himself and focused again on Evan, holding the package out to him. “I hope you like it,” he said shyly. Nicky loved to paint, but had never had the confidence he needed to market his work. Marco had promised him he would set up a gallery for him down in the town to showcase his work, but that was over now. He knew Marco would still do it, but he wanted nothing from him at this point. Nothing.
“Thank you so much, Nicky!” Evan was saying as he and Brett gazed down at the painting. “It’s so beautiful!”
“Glad you like it,” he said with a pleased smile and sat down at their table. Brett was giving his mate a small party in the main dining room, and at first Nicky thought about not going, afraid he might run into Marco. At the last minute though, he’d decided the hell with Marco. Evan was his friend.
“Please get some cake, Nicky. The dancing will start in a few minutes,” Brett told him, and Evan laughed softly.
“Brett knows how much I enjoy dancing. After the last time, he said he’ll be my partner from now on, though.”
The last time there was dancing in the main hall, Zack, Logan, Evan and Nicky had put on quite a show for their wolves, trying to make a point about their possessive natures. Marco had taken him to their rooms afterward and made love to him for hours. Nicky felt a flush come to his cheeks as the memory flashed through his mind. Damn it! Why did everything have to remind him of Marco? The thought that had been at the back of his mind since the dissolution came forward again. He had to leave here. He couldn’t stand much more of this.