Justin grimaced. “Mostly all he’s got are riddles, though he was the one who gave me the clue about Nadia. It is too bad about her. Shitty luck.”
Callista smiled in a way that made Mae tense for danger. “Luck had little to do with it. I was the one who suggested she go on her vision quest.”
“What? I thought she was your friend.”
“She was. She is. But we were starting to disagree on how to run things. So, when I encouraged her little journey…I mentioned that Amarantha would prefer she do it unchipped. Don’t look at me like that,” she told Justin. “I’ve made inquiries. She’s fine. And with the way the RUNA’s spreading, the territory she’s in will be annexed soon anyway. Besides, things are a lot smoother now that it’s just me running the faith.”
“Aside from when her family—who blames me for what she did—decided to take some sideline revenge,” he reminded her.
“I saved you,” said Callista. “And I’ll keep them in line. They’re all still unruly and half-provincial, but they fear Amarantha.”
Justin seemed to accept this, which just increased the absurdity of this night. That kind of behavior—dissension in groups that made them turn against each other—was exactly the reason religions weren’t supposed to grow.
Callista caught Mae’s sleeve as she started to walk past. The flirty, irreverent nature was gone. “You need to deal with your problems,” she hissed. “Until you do, you’re a danger to yourself. And to others. And to him.”
Mae jerked her arm away. “Fiction offers no danger. Only its followers.”
One of Callista’s lackeys delivered Justin and Mae back to their hotel. It was a long, awkward car ride in which neither said anything. When they made it back, Justin told her good night and headed for his room. Mae, aghast, grabbed him in the hall and pulled him to her with more force than she intended. He stumbled and put a hand on her shoulder to steady himself, triggering a jumble of emotions in her as she tried to figure out who he was. Romantic confidante? Schmoozing womanizer? Secret zealot?
“You are not going to bed! We have to talk about what happened!”
“It’s the middle of the night.” He looked both physically and mentally weary. “And you won’t believe anything I say anyway.”
“I believe that you’ll be back in Panama if SCI finds out you pick and choose which people you turn a blind eye to. And that you believe in your own deity or power or whatever. That’s a conflict of interest. As is sleeping with people you’re supposed to license!”
He sighed. “Are you jealous? If it makes you feel better, I had a better time with you—well, during sex, at least. After is a whole other story.”
Mae rarely lost her temper. She’d had too much discipline drilled into her to let her emotions get the better of her, which was why the lapse with Kavi had been so shocking. Mae nearly lost it again now and just barely stopped herself from slapping him, which probably would have knocked him into the wall. She took a deep breath.
“We’re going to talk now.”
For a moment, she thought he’d protest. Then a remarkable transformation came over him. A hard expression she’d never seen filled his face, containing both impatience and exasperation. He too was nearing a breaking point. “Do you want to know why I’m back? Why they went to all that trouble? Do you want to know why I left?”
She blinked in surprise. Those weren’t exactly the answers she wanted tonight, but they’d certainly been on her mind. Something about the intensity in his face cowed her. “Okay.”
They returned to his room, where Justin promptly poured himself a shot of tequila from a bottle that looked like it had been tapped last night. He downed it and then, after a moment’s thought, simply picked up the whole bottle. He sat down cross-legged on the bed and patted the spot in front of him. “Have a seat.” Mae hesitated, but there was nothing even remotely sexy going on. She joined him.
“Do you remember when I was first with Cornelia, talking about a group that tried to set me on fire? It wasn’t a joke. That was my last assignment before exile. Those nuts never should’ve reached that point. Whoever did their last evaluation had fucked up pretty badly for them to have progressed that far.” Mae bit back a suggestion that maybe the group’s last servitor had slept with one of their members and turned a blind eye. “I actually had to get some military out there to break up their compound.” He shook his head at the memory. “Until now, that was probably the craziest thing I’ve ever investigated.”
He took a drink from the bottle. “Anyway, they shut things down and rounded up most of the group. They were in a pretty remote place, and I had to stay at this little country inn. Not the most glamorous accommodations, but it did the job. My security guy went out for a good time, and I went to bed satisfied with a job well done.”
“A good time out in the middle of nowhere?” she asked, though that wasn’t nearly as surprising as the idea of his bodyguard taking off.
“The nearest real town was about ten miles away, and they had a licensed brothel. So, he took the car out there.” Then, maybe because the tequila was already in effect, Justin randomly added, “I’ve never paid for sex, you know. No matter what else you think of me, I’ve never done it.”
“Noted.”
“Anyway, I went to bed and had this dream. That’s where things get messed up.”
“More so than being set on fire?”
“In a different way.” His gaze turned inward, and the expression on his face grew troubled. No, more than that. Pained. “I had this dream that felt really real. I mean, a lot of dreams do, but you’ve got to believe me when I say it about this. Really real. I was out in the woods at night, but there was a brilliant full moon that lit everything up. I sat on the ground, and three people sat in front of me. I was holding a golden apple.” Justin gave her an expectant look. “Does that mean anything to you?”
“No, should it?”
“A golden apple initiated the Trojan War.” Her face said she didn’t understand that reference either. “The short version is that a mythological war began when a Greek goddess of chaos gave a golden apple to this guy named Paris. He was supposed to give it to the most beautiful goddess, and three of them tried to get it by bribing him. The details don’t matter, but the results of who he chose caused a war.”
“Okay.”
“Anyway, I had this golden apple, and these three people wanted it.”
“They wanted you to pick the most beautiful?”
“No.” He frowned and seemed to be grasping for words. “It’s hard to explain. The apple wasn’t about beauty here. It was more than that. The choice was about, I don’t know, power. Power and allegiance.”
“Allegiance to what?” she asked.
“To one of these three. Giving the apple was a commitment, I guess.” The more he spoke, the more obvious it was that this dream had deeply affected him. “They told me I had power with the apple, but that if I gave it to one of them, they’d give me something in return. And just like in the story, they tried to bribe me.
“One of them was a man wrapped in smoke and darkness. I couldn’t really see him, but he spoke in this deep voice that made the ground shake. He told me if I followed him, he’d give me power and authority. He said I’d have wealth and influence and people scrambling to serve me. That they’d fear me. It was kind of intense, and he made some cryptic comment about how he knew my adversaries and could help me fight them. The woman—there was only one—was a little gentler. But still dangerous. And alluring. I could see more of her. Her skin was pure white, and she had gray eyes and silver hair. Not like graying silver. Like, real silver. Brilliant and beautiful…it nearly hurt to look at her….” He trailed off for a moment. “She told me she liked clever men and that if I gave her the apple, she’d give me wisdom that could unlock all the secrets of the world. I told her I already had wisdom.”
“Of course you did,” said Mae. Even in some life-changing dream, his self-confidence would still be going strong.
“She said I was wrong, that I had knowledge and cleverness—but not wisdom.”
“Like the Lady of the Book versus the Lady of Keys.”
The reference seemed to surprise Justin, but he nodded slowly. “I suppose so. The third guy was older, and I could only see half of his face. The rest was in shadows. He said no one could give wisdom, that it had to be earned. He said he’d teach me and that his thought and his memory would guide me. He also said he’d show me how to outwit my enemies and that I could have love that would make others stop and stare. That kind of pissed off the woman. She said, ‘So love can be given, but not wisdom?’ And he said that he never said he’d give it to me…just that I could have it, like if I worked for it. She called him a cunning bastard.”
“I’m surprised you didn’t give him the apple just for that. He sounds like a kindred spirit.”
“I didn’t get a chance to mull it over,” said Justin, though he had the first genuine smile she’d seen since they got back. “Because then the smoky guy scoffed and said that he could do that and more, that he’d give me more women than I’d know what to do with.”
“I assume you told him the impossibility of that,” Mae interjected.
“You’re on a roll here, aren’t you? Never thought I’d have a heckler while I was pouring out my heart and soul.”
“Okay, sorry.” She had to remind herself of all that was at stake.
“The old guy said I’d only need one woman, and that the one he’d send me would mirror me in light and shadow, that I’d know her by a crown of stars and—” Justin faltered for a moment and then cleared his throat. “He said she’d be carved of fire and ice, that she’d scorch me in my bed and live and die for me outside of it.”