Then Jenny said something that shook my world, something that made me decide that maybe telling Lilly after the debt was paid would be a more realistic idea. She was going to be hurt by the truth regardless of whether or not I took the money. I might was well secure my family and then be honest with Lilly.
“I’m quitting school and getting a job,” Jenny said with pure determination.
There was no way in Hell I’d let that happen.
“Over my dead body!” I said angrily. “Don’t worry about it, Jenny. I already have the money to pay the bank. Just go inside and get ready for school.”
I continued to work on cars alongside Dad for the rest of the day. By the time I was done and in the shower, I was exhausted. All I could think about was getting cleaned up and the getting to Lilly. It had only been a day, but I missed her like crazy. She had spent most of the day in bed, and I had spent most of the day working, so we had barely talked.
On the car ride to her apartment, I tossed around the decision to take the money or not. I’d never been more confused about what to do in my life. By the time I got to Lilly’s place, I was positive I was going to take the money. What was one more week when I had lied to her for almost three months?
Mrs. Sheffield was waiting outside of Lilly’s apartment building for me and she had different plans.
Lucky me!
“To what do I owe the honor?” I asked sarcastically.
She didn’t waste any time getting to the point.
“I’ve never seen Lilly this happy. I want you to continue to see her for another three months. Then you’ll get your money.”
“Wait a damn minute! A deal’s a deal! I only have until the end of this week to make that payment, you can’t do this!”
“I’ve spoken with the bank and it’s taken care of, so what do you say? Do you want your payment made or not?”
“I can’t keep doing this to her. We’re in love. It’s cruel. I want out now and I want to tell her the truth.”
She burst into laughter.
“First of all, men know nothing about love—so don’t even give me that bullshit,” she said viciously. “Secondly, my daughter could never be in love with a guy like you. She’s confused and blinded by her first boyfriend. Don’t mistake that for love. Devin, should I remind you that I’m friends with the owners of the bank? You tell my daughter anything and I’ll make sure you and you father lose everything as well as never work in this town again. Don’t mess with me.”
I couldn’t say anything. She had me by the balls and I was so shocked by her viciousness that all I could do was stare at her.
“Also, you’ll get out when I say you can, is that understood? Mr. Michaels, I always get what I want, never forget that. Three more months it is then?”
What could I do? What could I say? Maybe she was right about Lilly. Maybe Lilly really didn’t love me. She was better than me for sure. There was nothing I could say to stop it, it was already started and I had to finish it or I’d lose everything, including Lilly.
“I won’t say a word, but I’m not going anywhere in three months. I’m here to stay, Mom,” I said sarcastically. I smiled with my teeth, but it never reached my eyes.
“We’ll see about that.”
Once the bitch walked away and before I went inside to see Lilly, I called the bank and asked about my dad’s loan. The man told me that all was taken care of and I knew that I had to continue. As much as I hated it, I had to do it for at least three more months. I would just have to pretend that the money was never coming and I had to remember that the relationship was now real for me. Lilly was mine.
That night, even though we were both tired, Lilly and I snuggled in bed and talked. It had been over a week since we had sex and just as long since we had a decent conversation. I ran my fingers through her soft hair as we got it all out in the open.
“Shannon told me about what happened to you when you were younger.” I traced the bruise on her cheek softly. I was glad to see it was beginning to fade. “Why didn’t you tell me about it, baby?” I asked.
She suddenly looked uncomfortable.
“It was embarrassing—I don’t like telling people about it. It makes me look weak.” She shifted in bed so that she wasn’t looking me in the face anymore.
“I’m sorry for what I said…that night. I had no idea you couldn’t…you know,” I couldn’t bring myself to say it.
It hurt my heart that such a sweet and caring woman like Lilly would never experience motherhood. There were moms, like mine, who could walk away from their children like they were shit. Lilly would never do that. She would’ve been an extraordinary mother.