I push open the door of my dorm room and walk in on Jean and Jonathan having sex. Can this day get any worse? I should count my blessings at this point, at least there were no toys involved this time. I slump against the wall across from our door and slide down to the floor in a heap. I have one donut left, the heart-shaped one covered in pink frosting. There are heart-shaped sprinkles on top too, I notice as I shove it in my mouth.
The door opens and Jonathan appears with Jean right behind him.
"Sophie, what are you doing here?" Jean asks, concern on her face.
"Eating a donut." I hold up the remaining half as evidence.
They look at each other for a moment and then Jonathan helps me off the floor while Jean holds the door open. Once I'm on my feet Jonathan takes off and I flop across my old bed.
"What's going on, Sophie? I thought you were staying with Luke?"
"I'm"—I sigh—"pregnant."
"Oh." Jean looks surprised. "Oh, wow." She's quiet for a moment. "Luke didn't take it well?"
"He's the one who told me."
"He knew before you did?" she asks incredulously.
"I'm an idiot," I reply, blowing hair off my face.
"No, Sophie, no, you're not. What's going on?"
I fill her in and she listens patiently. She rubs my back while I cry and lets me talk and vent all afternoon. All week really. And she lends me clothing, since Luke moved all of my things into his house.
Luke calls, and I send him to voicemail. I'm not ready to talk to him. I'm not ready for any of this.
Chapter 33
"Holy shit. Pregnant?" Everly looks horrified. She's staring at my stomach like she suspects baby cooties are airborne.
"It's not contagious, Everly."
"I know that," she responds unconvincingly while running a hand across her flat stomach. She hops up on the back counter and stares at me while swinging her feet. "Have you told Luke? How'd he take it? Are you gonna HEA?"
"Are we going to what?"
Everly rolls her eyes at me. "HEA. Are you going to get married, have the baby and live happily ever after?"
"I don't know." I shake my head.
"Well, how did he react when you told him? He's really old, he might want a kid," she offers.
"He told me, actually."
Everly stops swinging her legs. "How? Were you playing some kinky pregnancy test game? Please say yes," she pleads.
"Uh, no." I point to my head. "Concussion? Hospital? Remember?"
"Oh, right," she says, deflating.
"Enough about me. What's new with Professor Camden?"
Everly freezes for a brief second then shrugs. "Nothing. And if you think I'm done talking about the chicken nugget in your uterus, you're mistaken."
I ignore her and move to assist a customer.
"So, what's your plan?" Everly asks when I'm done.
"It's been three days, Everly, I'm supposed to have a plan?"
Everly looks at me like I'm crazy. "Yeah, you're Sophie. You probably had a plan within three hours."
I slump against the counter. "I had planned to graduate without a pregnancy, so maybe planning isn't all it's cracked up to be."
Everly just waves her hand for me to continue.
"I think I can afford a one-bedroom in a decent area as long as I find a full-time position by graduation."
"You can afford a three-bedroom and a pony with the amount of child support Luke will be paying."
"No." I shake my head. "No, I don't want his money. I'm not my mother." The back of my eyes burn and I will myself not to cry.
Everly hops off the counter and hugs me. "I know, bitch. I know," she says, rubbing my back. Only Everly can call me a bitch at a moment like this and make it comforting. "Sophie, you're the most conscientious person I know. No one will think you got pregnant on purpose."
I spot a shiny new Land Rover parking out front as I pull away from Everly. I can't believe he's stopping in for his Tuesday morning coffee run like nothing has happened. I duck into the back and leave Everly to deal with him, busying myself unpacking a shipment of paper cups.
I don't stop until Everly appears, leaning against the door jamb. "You're so stupid," she says in way of greeting.
"I know," I agree, slumping.
"No, dumbass, about Luke." She points her thumb in the direction of the street. "He traded in a sports car for an SUV."
"Everly, I don't want his money. He can buy three cars for all I care."
"I cannot believe you're the smart one," she mutters. "First of all, that's a luxury Land Rover, not a car. And secondly, it's a Land Rover, Sophie—that's the equivalent to a minivan for Luke. Jesus, he probably has a baby name site bookmarked on his laptop. You two are gross," she finishes and walks back into the shop.
I chew on my bottom lip while I think about what Everly is saying.
"He asked about you," she calls out as she walks away.
* * *
The next two days pass in a blur. I attend class, study and send out resumes. Boyd leaves me several messages about meeting to talk, but my energy level is so low all I've managed to do is text him back. Being an incubator is exhausting.
I'm confused. Everly and Jean haven't been with Luke these last few months. They haven't heard the reminders about taking my pill at the same time every day, the refills being handed to me. The inquiries about my period. I don't think Luke wants a baby. At least not this second, or maybe just not with me.
I'm back at Grind Me on Thursday working when I look up to find Boyd across the counter from me.
“Hey, Boyd,” I greet him.
“You’ve been ignoring my calls, little sister.” He smiles as he says it. “I’m sorry.” I pause. “I’ve had a lot going on.”
“Yeah. I remember college life. I’m sure you’ve got better things to do than return family phone calls.”
“I wish it were that simple.” I groan.
Boyd frowns. “Listen,” he says, tapping an envelope I’m only now noticing on the counter. “I have to leave town for a bit for work, and I wanted to take care of this before I left. Can you take a break? Or we can meet after your shift?”