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“Um, does he normally use one?”

“Always,” I say, glancing out the front window of the coffee shop. “But he’s indicated before that he didn’t want to use them. Then I offered and he turned me down. That’s weird, right?” I glance back at Sophie, teeth worrying at my bottom lip again.

“I’m not sure,” she says, shrugging. “Luke and I never use them anymore. Like, not since the first week or two.”

“Seriously, Sophie?” I huff out a loud sigh of disapproval. “How many times have I told you? Two forms of birth control at all times.”

“I think you’ve only told me that once,” she says with a shake of her head. “And your admonishment is a little lost when you’re in the midst of a story about trying to fuck your boyfriend without a condom.”

“Well, there’s that,” I agree. “But it was going to be a one-time thing. Probably.” I wave my hand. “Anyway, that’s not the point. The point is that he turned me down. I’m not interested in having his illegitimate love child. Just what the fuck?” The sting of that refusal hits me again and my cheeks burn in mortification. I know I’ve done the same to him by refusing to have sex with him without a condom, but, well, that’s my prerogative.

“I don’t understand. You saw him last week and you haven’t had a fight. Why do you think he’s breaking up with you?”

“He cancelled our plans last weekend,” I say and then pause. “Then he sent me a text saying he needed time.” It’s tough spitting that last part out. It’s so stupid I want to punch him in the balls. Fucking time.

“Oh.”

“Right. Oh.”

“How did you reply?”

“I didn’t.” Sophie furrows her forehead in confusion at my response so I continue. “I have a sick feeling about it. Something is off, but I’m so pissed that he’s not talking and instead sent me a lame text about needing time.” I heave a breath out. “I’m sad, Sophie.”

She nods as the coffee shop door opens and her boyfriend Luke walks in. Her back is to the door so I see him before she does. His eyes immediately gravitate to her, softening at a mere glimpse of her.

It makes the back of my throat burn like tears are imminent. So I swallow instead and plaster a smile on my face, calling out a hello to Luke.

Sophie beams and slides around the counter so they can kiss.

I watch because I’m me. Plus Luke’s pretty hot.

Sophie returns behind the counter and fills a cup of dark roast for Luke, sliding a sleeve over the cup and securing the lid before placing it on the counter with a shy smile.

He reminds her about a hospital benefit they have to attend this weekend and I thank my lucky stars I’m not going because I’m bored just hearing about it.

“I bet you two fuck like horny little rabbits,” I comment as the door shuts behind Luke.

Sophie just holds up her hands, palms up, and shrugs.

“I still can’t believe you’re dating a gynecologist.”

“Someone has to,” she says in her practical tone of voice.

“You don’t think it’s weird that he’s on his way to the student clinic right now?” I push. “It’s not like he’s an ear, nose and throat doctor.”

“Please stop talking.”

Forty-Three

I leave work and head back to campus. I sit though an afternoon class but it’s a huge waste of time. I don’t retain a single word.

I head to the Clemens Corp building as soon as class lets out. I need to see him. Maybe this is all in my head.