That was Indigo’s take as well. “Judd’s intel was on the money. No one goes to this much trouble unless they’re planning to launch a major offensive.” Though, she’d been thinking . . . “If I were a Councilor who wanted to take SnowDancer, I’d go after you first.” The pack had one weakness and perhaps, just perhaps, Henry Scott had figured it out.
Hawke’s eyes were chips of ice by now. “Riley, you, or Cooper could step into the breach.”
“Yes, but we’d be constantly challenged. It would take us months to fend off the challengers, and it’d leave the pack in disarray.” No one challenged Hawke because he’d proven himself, been bathed in blood for the pack.
“Even if I am a target,” he said, “this kind of planning goes beyond that.”
“Yes. They undeniably want what we hold.”
“They’ll have to kill every last SnowDancer to get it.”
Exhausted by the events of the day, Indigo should’ve gone to her room and crashed in readiness for the next day’s exertions. But Drew was waiting for her when she turned the corner, his eyes solemn but his words light. “Massage and a slice of white chocolate gâteau with fresh cherries?”
Which was how she found herself naked in his bed not much later.
Head on his chest, she stroked him as they spoke. “I don’t want the pack to go through what we did all those years ago,” she murmured. “I can’t forget the blood, the loss.”
Drew ran his hand down her back. “I was younger, but I remember parts of it. My parents were lost in the first wave of trouble, only a couple of years earlier.”
Hugging him tight, she took a moment to appreciate just how very good it felt to lie with him, to discuss their day. She couldn’t imagine being this comfortable with anyone else. “Drew?”
“Hmm?”
“Thank you for getting the cats.” For following her orders no matter the possessive drive that had to be pushing him close to insanity these days.
“That’s okay.” He rubbed the back of her neck. “I’ve decided to kill Riaz later, when you’re not watching.”
Sitting up, she looked into his eyes. “I want you to know something.”
“So serious.” He brushed strands of hair off her face. “Tell me.”
“If I am ever talking out of my ass, I fully expect you to call me on it.”
“Don’t worry about that, Lieutenant.” He tapped her bottom. “I’ll never let things slide.” A more sober look. “But any arguing we do on pack issues won’t be in front of others.”
She knew that would be hard on him, predatory changeling male that he was. But the past weeks had shown her the staggering depth of his will. He’d bite his tongue until it bled, but he would never again diminish her in public—and would certainly never fail to back her up when she needed it, like Martin so often did with Adria.
And that, she decided with absolute finality, would be the last time she ever compared her man to her aunt’s. Because Drew was a thousand times the man, the wolf, that Martin was. “I thought there was cake,” she said, tracing his lip with her fingertip.
He nipped at her. “I would never lie to you about cake.”
Nibbling at that pretty mouth, she said, “Yeah?”
He groaned. “In the cooler. But—”
Laughing, she pushed off him. “Let me replenish my energy first. You boy toys are exhausting.”
“Toys?” he growled.
She winked at him as she jumped off the bed. “I, of course, am only interested in my own personal boy toy.”
“That’s better,” he said, stealing a kiss as he got out, too, and walked—gloriously nude—to the cooler.
“Have you no shame?” She tried her best to sound scandalized, difficult when the only thing she wanted to do was lick him all over.
“Nope.”
Not as ready to eat naked, she went to Drew’s dresser to pull out a T-shirt. “Since somebody tore mine.” Her glare had no effect on the gorgeous man who was currently chugging down milk straight from the carton.
Wiping his mouth, he put down the milk and crooked a finger. “Come ’ere.”
“I don’t know that I—” Hand on a T-shirt, she frowned. “What’s this?”
Drew was suddenly beside her, trying to shut the drawer. “Don’t worry about it. It’s just—”
But she’d already pulled out the raggedy soft toy. It was a bear, probably once a plush brown but now sadly bedraggled, most of its fur gone, one eye missing, and the ears nibbled half-off. Definitely in rough shape, but not uncared for, she realized, noticing the neat stitches that had mended the tears.
Aware Drew had gone silent beside her, she glanced up. And for the first time in her life, she saw a mask on Drew’s face. It hit her like a punch to the gut.
CHAPTER 41
“I’m sorry,” she said, certain she’d hurt him in some terrible way. “I didn’t mean to—”
Drew’s hand slipped behind her neck to tug her to his chest. “Shh.” The warmth had returned to his voice, the tone husky. “I just wasn’t ready.”
“It’s okay.” She stroked his back with her free hand, the bear between them. “We’ll put it back until you are.” It hurt her to know that he was hurting. Really hurt her.
Drew nuzzled at her neck. “No, I think Platypus is probably tired of being in that drawer.”
She blinked. “You have a bear named Platypus?”
A grin as he took the bear from her and ran his hands affectionately over the chewed-off ears. “Hey, I was a kid. How was I supposed to know what a platypus was?” Walking to the bed, he sat down, tugging the sheet across just enough to cover the most distracting part of him. “Come, sit.”
Pulling on the T-shirt, she went to sit beside him, her legs curled under her. Still uncertain what she’d inadvertently done, she put one hand on his shoulder, pressing her body a little against his. “He was yours?”
“When I was small.”
She saw him swallow, remembered how young he’d been when he’d lost both parents. Her own throat grew choked. “You were a feral little thing, weren’t you?” she said past the knot of emotion, tugging at the bear’s abbreviated ears.
Drew gave a small laugh, and the tightness in her chest relaxed. Her wolf didn’t like seeing him in distress.
“My mom gave Platty to me.” He brought the bear up to his nose, drew in a long breath. “Sometimes, I think I can scent her perfume if I try hard enough.”
A tear threatened to streak its way down Indigo’s cheek, but she blinked it back, knowing Drew needed her to listen today. “You’ve taken good care of him.”
“You know we were fostered in the pack,” he said quietly. “Our foster parents were good, really good to all three of us. They’d brought up their own kids, understood exactly what we needed.”
“But they weren’t your parents.” Indigo understood, knew that his foster parents—who’d both gone roaming around the world a few years ago—would’ve understood as well.
Drew surprised her by laughing. “I don’t think Riley would’ve allowed them to take over.” A sharp grin, full of affection. “He was the one we instinctively looked toward, as the oldest, and he never let us down. We loved our foster parents for the home they gave us, but we bonded the strongest with each other.”
“That makes me better understand the way Riley treats the two of you.” Especially with Brenna, the other lieutenant was severely overprotective—more like a father than a brother. He was less so with Drew, but there was still a hint of it in his dealings with his brother.
“Yeah.” Holding Platypus in one hand, Drew put his other one on her thigh, his fingers stroking with an affection that she’d long understood was as natural to him as breathing. “You know, part of the way he is, is because of the fact that he all but brought us up, but—”
“—part of it is just Riley,” Indigo completed. “I remember him as a kid, you know. So intense, so focused. If you needed to get something done in the kid circles, you went to either Hawke or Riley. Hawke to lead the trouble, and Riley to make sure we didn’t get caught.”
Drew squeezed her thigh. “I kept Platypus with me all through my childhood,” he said, then gave a self-conscious shrug. “When I turned into a teenager, I hid him in the cupboard, but I used to take him out at night sometimes and talk to him.”
Shifting her hold, she hugged him around the shoulders, putting her face cheek-first against his back. “It was like being with your mom again.”
“Yeah.” Drew stroked the bear’s ragged ears once more. “Riley and Brenna don’t know I still have him.”
Her wolf understood what he was telling her, accepted the gift. “I think he’d look good on top of the dresser,” she murmured, pressing a kiss to his nape. “Don’t you?”
Drew thought about it for a long second before lifting her hand up to his lips and rising to place Platypus in pride of place on the polished wood of his dresser. There was a vulnerability to him she could almost touch—and she knew he was embarrassed by it. Yet still he’d shared so much of his heart. It humbled her, his courage.
And it pushed her to the precipice of accepting the mating bond.
Her remaining hesitation had nothing to do with his youth or dominance. It was far more visceral. Her wolf adored Drew now, but used to control, to protecting itself, it was uneasy at the idea of the total, absolute surrender signified by the mating bond. Yet in spite of that, it found itself compelled to the edge by Drew’s open commitment, by the fearless way he grabbed onto life . . . onto love.
Andrew could almost taste the mating bond the next morning as he worked beside Indigo to clear the northern edge of their territory of surveillance devices. It was serious work—but he was a wolf. “Hey, Indy,” he said around midmorning, feeling a little raw after the previous night. But because it had been his mate who’d seen him so very vulnerable, he was able to deal.