And to make things worse, her new friends now looked up at her as if she were some kind of anger-fueled freak, some kind of maniac. She could actually see fear in their eyes. Rachel didn’t blame them. She was afraid of herself at this moment. She had never felt herself explode with this kind of anger before.
“OMG,” Kate said quietly, in a timid voice, “I was just saying. I didn’t mean to like mortally offend you.”
Rachel tried to think of something witty to say back to her, but she was too overwhelmed. She wasn’t thinking clearly, and her mind wasn’t functioning properly.
So instead, she just turned, pushed back her chair, and stormed out of the cafeteria, between the rows of tables, everyone watching her. She could hear a pin drop. It was dead silent, except for the sound of her beat-up Converse scraping along the floor as she walked down the hall, and out the cafeteria doors. As they closed behind her, the one thing she realized was that she had finally messed it all up for good: now she didn’t have a single friend left at AHS.
Chapter Five
Rachel stormed into her house and up to her bedroom. She couldn’t believe what had happened at school today; not in her wildest dreams did she think her day would turn out that badly.
Rachel took out her diary and began to write. She knew it was the only thing that would ease her mind and calm her nerves. She didn’t know what else to do.
A tear came streaming down her face and landed on the cover of her diary. She brushed it off, but it left a small wet stain on the front. As she opened the lock with the key she wore around her neck, she heard footsteps coming towards her room. They grew louder and louder, and Rachel got tense. She couldn’t imagine who could be storming down the hallway at 3:30pm. She thought nobody was home. She knew it couldn’t be her father; he never came home before 6pm. Ever.
“Rachel, you get out here this minute,” her dad’s voice came shouting through the door.
Rachel quivered and leapt to her feet. She couldn’t imagine what this was about and she had never heard her dad use such a forceful tone.
“What?” Rachel yelled through the door.
“You better get yourself down to the kitchen, young lady, and fast,” her father repeated. “Your mother and I are waiting.”
Rachel got scared. She locked her diary up, threw it in her desk drawer and swung open her bedroom door. She quickly walked downstairs, not knowing what would happen to her once she saw her mom and dad. Rachel peeked her head into the kitchen where she heard her parents whispering and hoped to catch a glimpse of them before she entered the room, but they had spotted her. Rachel stood there like a deer in the headlights.
As Rachel crept into the kitchen, her parents just stood there, looking at her and waiting. Rachel looked back at them, and then saw her father look down towards the kitchen table. Rachel followed his gaze as her eyes spotted it. She couldn’t believe what was happening – or rather, what was about to happen.
There it was, the Westchester Daily News, right in front of her eyes. Rachel began to sweat; she could feel her body fill with regret as she stood there waiting to hear what her parents had to say about this one. Rachel couldn’t help but wonder why she was getting herself into so much trouble these days, and why she was always at the wrong place at the wrong time.
She waited for her parents to say something, but they just stood there silently, looking at her and then back at the paper. She didn’t know what to do – she couldn’t figure out if they wanted her to explain herself, or if she should wait there in agony for them to speak.
Rachel opened her mouth to say something, and her dad immediately interrupted her.
“What’s this all about?” he said in a loud firm voice.
Rachel put her head down and said, “Um,” she paused, “I don’t know, it was a mistake, I’m sorry.”
Rachel heard her mom sniffle, and begin to cry. She looked at her mom, who was standing there, rubbing her eyes with a tissue.
“Your mother and I are extremely disappointed in you, Rachel.” Her dad looked up and glared at her. “Do you know how this has hurt us, and what this means for our family?” her dad added.
“And a motorcycle? Really, Rachel?” Her mom sobbed. “I thought I could trust you.”
“Everyone is talking about this, Rachel,” her dad said. “Not only are we dealing with the police from your involvement with the fight last night, but now you have to be on the front page of the newspaper?” her dad paused. “Do you realize that everyone is talking about you? And about our family?”
Rachel stood there and waited. She could tell he had more to say, but stopped to grab her mom another tissue, and to put his arm around her.
“I left work early, Rachel. As soon as I heard about this I ran home. It is clear that you will need more structure for your afternoons. No more being left home alone, no more hanging out with friends, no more ANYTHING,” he yelled.
Rachel began to cry, too.
“But, I,” Rachel wiped her tears. “It wasn’t my fault. I didn’t do anything,” she said. “Why do you guys have to be so hard on me all the time? You should be lucky I’m alive,” Rachel yelled, as she turned and stomped out of the kitchen.
“Get back here,” her dad shrieked.
“Do not walk away from us when we’re speaking to you!” Rachel’s mom added.
Rachel turned back around and went back into the kitchen. “What’s left to say?” she said.
“Rachel, I thought you had told us everything,” her mom said, still crying and wiping away her tears. “I had no idea what was going on, and can’t believe we had to find out like this.”
“I’m sorry,” Rachel said. “What do you want me to say? I can’t go back and change things. I wish I could, but what’s done is done.”
“Maybe this move was a bad idea,” her mom said, looking at her dad. “Nothing seems to be going right for us anymore, and we hardly even recognize you, Rachel. What has happened to you?”
Rachel stood there in shock. She didn’t feel like she had changed, especially not to the point of being unrecognizable to her own parents. She was devastated. She never meant to hurt them, especially not her mother.
“Listen, I’m sorry. It won’t happen again.”
“We’ve heard that before,” her dad yelled. “It won’t happen again, because you won’t be going out again. From now on, all you’ll be doing is going to school and coming home, and don’t even think about seeing that guy Benji again.”
“Go to your room and don’t come out for the rest of the night,” her mom said. “I can’t stand to look at you right now.”
*
Rachel began to sob as she turned around. Now she really had nobody, not even her parents to stick by her. She was devastated and alone.
She stomped up to her room and slammed the door. She couldn’t believe what had just happened. She felt completely jolted by her parent’s reaction. Rachel took her diary back out of the desk to write. She opened it again, noticing her tear had completely dried on the front of her journal, leaving a dry circular mark. As she opened to a blank page, she could feel the tears swelling up in her eyes and her vision became blurry. She blinked a few times and tears began streaming down her cheeks again. She couldn’t stop crying. She walked over to her bed and buried her head in between her pillows.
She lay there crying into her pillows for a while until she felt something on her back. It was cold. A cold hand and it began rubbing her back ever so softly. Rachel had no idea who this could be. For a moment, she thought Benji had come to comfort her. Then, she popped her head up and wiped away her final tears. There she saw Sarah, sitting there with her coat and cheerleading uniform still on from practice.
“I just got home and heard you crying,” Sarah said.
“I’m ok, really,” Rachel said, trying to sound strong.
“C’mon, I can tell you’re not ok,” Sarah paused. “What is it?”
Rachel felt so touched that Sarah had come in to see her after the horrible events of the day. She couldn’t believe someone was actually being nice to her. For a moment, she thought everything would be all right.
“I’m grounded. They saw the article,” Rachel said. “They’re also pissed about last night, which is so unfair because it was totally not my fault.”
“I know,” said Sarah. “I heard all about it today from the girls at practice. They’re pretty upset, too, but I stuck up for you.”
“Thanks, you didn’t have to do that. It really doesn’t matter anymore. I have no friends now,” Rachel said as another tear rolled slowly down her cheek.
“Listen, Rachel, things are bad right now, but don’t worry. The truth will win. You have to remember that,” Sarah added.
Rachel felt scared. Her sister was right, but she didn’t know the truth either. Nobody did, except for her, and she was not going to tell a soul.
“Listen, Rach, I’ll talk to Mom and Dad,” Sarah said. “I’ll try and get you out of it.”
Rachel couldn’t believe her ears. She couldn’t believe that Sarah was going to stick up for her, and that they were really becoming friends and confidants. Rachel was ecstatic. This is what she had always dreamed her relationship with her sister would be like.
At that moment, Rachel heard a buzzing sound coming from her inside her backpack.
1 New Message:
Rachel looked down at her phone, clutching it in her hand, nervous to open it to see what her friend had to say. Rachel flipped her Motorola flip phone open and saw a message from Kate.
Kate: Sorry about today. I’m with Liv and Taryn. We really didn’t mean to upset you.
Rachel thought for a moment and began to write back. She didn’t mean to yell at her friends after all. She didn’t know what had come over her in the cafeteria to make her scream like that.
Rachel: I’m sorry, too. I didn’t mean to yell at you guys.