The First Days (As the World Dies #1) - Page 56/59

"You're a very good friend, you know that?"

"I'm trying," he answered, and snuggled against her.

She closed her eyes again and enjoyed the sensation of his closeness.

Already, the ache was fading, and she was too tired and stressed to think too deeply what that meant. For once, she just didn't want to think about what things meant. To just relax, to just not care, just for a little bit.

Rolling over in his arms, she rested her hand against his neck, her thumb resting on his cheek and kissed his lips very softly. "Just for a moment," she whispered, her gaze searching out his.

Travis didn't hesitate and kissed her deeply and slowly. His hand rested tenderly on her hers as they kissed. Almost as if he knew the kiss had grown to be too much for her to bear, he drew away and kissed her forehead.

Silently, he laid his head next to hers and drew her hand up to his lips and kissed it.

"Just for a moment," he said, and closed his eyes to sleep.

She smiled, then fell away into a peaceful slumber.

2. Dead Man’s Party Ends

And so the party ended and people finally crept back to their beds, some so drunk they barely found their way. At last, silence descended except for the ceaseless moaning of the zombies.

A steady rain started at some point of the night and many of the guards rushed to get ponchos.

During the brief chaos, a figure made its way to the roof of the city hall, lugging another form with it. Without pause, it shoved the other form over the edge of the roof. It tumbled over easily, its arms and legs flailing, then it landed with a painful thump without uttering a sound.

It did not take long for the zombies to find it and soon a feast erupted in the street.

When the guard returned to his place, he noticed a heavily ravaged body standing in the street, swaying back and forth, it's head turned upwards.

Its mouth was taped shut.

It was Ritchie.

Chapter 21

1. Skin Against Skin

Skin against skin…breath-consuming breath… limbs intertwined… soft moans… gentle whisperings…pleasure building steadily…

Katie's hands slid over the broad shoulders of the man over her and tilted her head back, sighing softly, rapturously.

"Travis…"

His mouth slid over hers in a soft kiss and her fingers tangled in his hair.

Suddenly, something gripped her leg painfully, angrily. She opened her eyes to see Lydia, mangled, bloodied, and dead leaning over them.

"How could you," Lydia demanded in a raspy voice.

Then she lunged forward, bloodied teeth desperate for flesh.

Katie awoke and nearly fell off the bed in her haste to defend herself and Travis. Her heart was thundering in her chest and she pressed the flat of her hand against it to feel the harsh pulse beneath her fingers. Looking around, she realized the sun must be up for a yellowish light was seeping in around the mini-blinds.

Travis was nowhere to be seen and she felt panic billowing up in her.

Resting her booted feet against the floor, she leaned forward, taking deep breaths. Nothing had happened between her and Travis except for their goodnight kiss, but she still felt agonizing guilt. Rubbing her face with her hands, she tried to remove the vision of Lydia lunging forward to bite into Travis.

Feeling like crying, she stood up shakily and grabbed the Reverend's jacket. She slid it on and ran her hands over her hair. It felt tangled and crazed and she pulled out the rubber band to let the curls fall around her face.

Travis entered with his face grim and his gaze haunted. He saw her expression and moved toward her.

"Katie," he said, concerned.

She took a deep breath. "I had a nightmare."

"Evidently. You look pale as a ghost." He touched her cheek softly.

She had trouble looking at him in the eye and he gently turned her face toward him.

When he saw the pain in her eyes, he gently lowered his hand. "Lydia?"

Nodding mutely, she began to mess with her hair again.

"Katie, I know what is going on is confusing," he started.

Katie refused to look directly at him as she fussed with her hair. "You're not the one betraying your wife. Your entire life for years. You're not living with the knowledge that your wife is one of those things now!"

Travis drew back and lowered his head, his expression tormented and sorrowful.

"I lived my life for the last decade with an incredible woman who did nothing but love me unconditionally and believe in me. I loved-love her with all my heart and it kills me that she is gone."

Travis looked up with her, a stricken expression on his face. "I understand."

Katie tried hard not to cry and shook her head. "No, you don't. You don't know what it is like to live your life with someone you love more than life itself and have people treat you like shit because of it. How you don't hold hands or kiss in public out of fear. Or the way it feels when you do finally come out fully to a world that swings back and forth between wanting to see you fuck your wife or drive you out of the neighborhood. You don't understand."

Travis took hold of her wrist and drew her near. His voice was very raw with emotion. "Don't tell me that I don't know what it is like to love someone.

If you haven't figured it out, I do love you. And I will continue to do so as you deal with the ghost of Lydia in your life. Maybe I'm a fool to believe you could love me back, but your kiss gave me hope. Lydia may have been your life and hope before, but now she is your tormentor and your curse."

"Fuck you!"

"Katie, our world is dead. Everything that we were is dead. This is the new world. What we make of it. It's been a few weeks, but it feels like a lifetime ago, doesn't it? Who you are now is not who you were on that first day."

She sobbed and nodded mutely. It did seem like an eternity ago. Time seemed odd and cruel. Everyone seemed to be living at an accelerated pace.

"I feel lost without her here. I miss her! Every day I miss her and the only way I can deal with it is to not think about her!" She gasped at her own words and covered her mouth with her fingers.

Travis' gaze warmed and he reached out toward her. "Katie, you're not doing anything wrong. She loved you and you loved her. But you can't let that stop you from living now."

She blinked the tears from her lashes and took a slow, stuttering breath.

Katie drew back from him, covering her face with her hands. She trembled at the impact of his words and he slipped his arms around her and held her gently. Laying her hands on his chest, she looked up at him and sighed.

"I can't forget her."

"And you shouldn't," he assured her. He kissed her forehead and drew away.

She rubbed her face and then ran her hands over her T-shirt to smooth it out as she tried to regain her composure. Right now, she couldn't fully examine his words or try to deal with them, but they had hit a harsh chord within her.

"You didn't come in here to calm me down from a nightmare," she said after a beat.

"Yeah, we have a situation. It's not going to be pleasant. Someone threw Ritchie over the wall, bound and gagged."

Katie dropped her hands. "What?"

Travis looked at her sadly. "He's out there, in the street, staring up at the city hall. He's not moving, just staring. He's pretty much eaten away, but you can tell it was him."

"Oh, gawd, that's awful," Katie gasped.

"Yeah. And I have to go find Juan. He's suspect number one, followed by Curtis."

Katie shook her head. "No, no, I don't believe either one of them would do that."

"Yeah, but Bill is investigating so we need to find Juan," Travis answered grimly.

"He's with Jenni," Katie said.

"Yeah, so I thought you should come with me."

"Okay, let’s go."

Their walk across the construction site was uneventful. It was early morning and many people were up at breakfast or still asleep. The sun was barely up and a thick mist, two feet deep, drifted over the ground. As they walked, Katie glanced toward Travis and saw absolute devastation written on his features. He was taking a lot of hard knocks and she knew she was part of it.

She was struggling hard against her internal turmoil. Never had she felt so conflicted. Well, actually, she had, back in high school when she had come out as a staunch lesbian and had endured much vilification at the hands of her former friends. Cheerleaders were not gay. And then in her senior year, she and her girlfriend had broken up and Katie had unexpectedly fallen in love with her first boyfriend. It had been a huge relief to her parents and her friends, but it had thrown her a little. But she had been young and embraced her boyfriend with all the love and passion she had embraced her girlfriend.

When he had started pushing her to have sex with another girl with him watching, that had ended their relationship. He had been pleasant enough, but she despised him for trying to use her sexuality just for his pleasure.

But with her first boyfriend and girlfriend behind her, she had felt secure in the knowledge that she could love a person for who they were. A series of girlfriends and boyfriends had followed. This had thrown her family and made her mother especially upset. But Katie had been fine with it. It hadn't been easy though. Some of the lesbian community thought she was a lesbian in denial or just confused. The straight community often just wanted to portray her as promiscuous. More than one guy she had dated had expressed delight at the thought of threesomes only to have her apartment door shut on him for good. There had been the good, solid boyfriends who had just not worked out. There had been the good solid girlfriends who had not worked out.