Whispers and conversations about me. Eyes on me.
My goodness, but he’s breathtaking. Have you ever seen a mouth like his before? No man should be allowed to be that beautiful. I wonder if he’s sleeping with Rachel because of her money? But of course, why else? He probably wants to get ahead. He could use me to get ahead anytime. Elizabeth! He could be your son. Wouldn’t be my first, you know?
For once, I know what it feels like to be standing on the other side—the side where you don’t open doors for people but people open them for you—and I would be lying if I said that I didn’t enjoy it. I would be lying if I said that I didn’t like how it felt to be someone in a room full of someones when all my life I’ve been invisible to them. Yet there’s something stopping me from losing myself completely in this very vivid dream.
We’re standing on the veranda, watching the stars and getting some fresh air.
“I think you’ve made a good impression.”
“Yeah?”
“Yes, especially on Carl. He wants to see some of your work as soon as possible. He’s very interested.”
I take a sip of champagne, shrugging. Rachel removes the crystal flute from my hand and places it on the balustrade. Then, she turns to face me, taking my hand in hers.
“What’s the matter? I thought this was—”
“You thought this was what I wanted?” I stare at the rolling gardens in front of us. “I don’t know, Rachel. This is all fucking great, the party, the champagne, the interest, but I always thought that I would make it on my own. I never imagined I would need to fuck my way to the top.”
I hear her breathe in sharply. “You don’t mean that, Ronan. Those words aren’t worthy of you.”
“I apologize. You didn’t deserve that, but it’s the truth, isn’t it? If we hadn’t fucked, I wouldn’t be standing here right now talking about showing some of my work to Carl Brunswick. I’d still be a nobody who no one gives a shit about.”
“I’d like to call it serendipity,” she adds quietly. “But that isn’t what’s truly bothering you, at least not completely, is it?”
I’m silent for a moment, gazing at the rolling hills in front of us. “It’s just that I always thought that I could make it on my own.”
She grabs my face, making me look at her. “Ronan, listen carefully. As much as Carl loves me, he won’t put his business or his reputation on the line because I’m sleeping with you. If he sees potential in your work, he’ll give you a chance. If he doesn’t, he’ll tell you as much without apology. If you get to the top, it’s not because of me, it’s because of you.”
I open my mouth to tell her that there wouldn’t be a top without her, but she interrupts me. “Stop it, you stubborn man. Listen to what I’m saying. All I’m doing is giving you a little push in the right direction. Your talent will do the rest. Now stop it, and kiss me.” She pulls my face closer to hers, our mouths almost touching. “Kiss me.”
I’m still not convinced, but kiss her anyway. I seek solace from my thoughts in her mouth, needing her body and the relief that she can offer me in this moment. When we break apart, I grab her ass, so soft covered in silk, and grind my growing erection against her cunt. “Let’s go to your bedroom.”
“No, I can’t leave my guests,” she breathes, but her eyes dazed in lust say the contrary.
“I don’t give a fuck. I want you and you want me. Or do you want me to take you right here in front of all your guests?”
Moaning, her breathing accelerates. “You wouldn’t.”