Looking around for something to wrap myself in, I locate his discarded shirt on the floor and put it on. He glances back and sees me. He reaches for my hand and pulls me into his lap so I’m sitting astride his legs. Ronan then grasps my thighs under the shirt and tugs me forward, bridging the space between us. In this position, I can feel his thick cock spreading the lips of my pussy apart, warmth gathering at my core.
A hot blush coats my cheeks as I lower my gaze and begin to trace the outlines of the tattoos adorning his carved torso. How devastatingly beautiful you are. Ronan places a hand behind my neck and gently pulls me toward him. Closing my eyes, I rest my cheek on his chest as he runs his fingers through my hair. The beating of his heart soothes me. His touch hypnotizes me.
“What made you go to Central Park?”
“I went to your apartment first, but you weren’t there. I didn’t know what to do or where you were, so I ended up going there.”
“Why?”
“I guess it’s because it reminds me of you.”
Happiness swells within me, making me float. More minutes pass in comfortable silence.
“I need to know, Blaire,” he says hoarsely, fear embedded in his words.
I tilt my head back and stare into his warm brown eyes that show me his soul. “What is it?”
“I saw the two of you at the masquerade …”
“Oh.” I bite my lip.
“Do you,” he pauses, “do you love him?” The question is torn from him. I can almost taste the blood it draws from him on my tongue.
I think of everything that we’ve been through to finally get to this moment; all the heartache, the lies, and the deceit. I wish that I could explain to Ronan that I don’t love Lawrence the way that I love him. That a small part of me, the one who loves another man, will always mourn for him. But I’m finally with Ronan to whom I belong body and soul. I remain silent, unable to lie to him.
Sometimes what is not said is answer enough.
“I see …” A cloud of sadness crosses his eyes before closing them.
“Did you love her?”
He looks at me again. “I don’t think so. I liked her a lot, Blaire. I liked being with her, we had fun together, and the sex took my mind off of you. She helped me when the dark was so fucking dark I couldn’t see …”
His response is like a dagger to my heart, but it would be naïve to think that we’re the same two people who fell in love during an idyllic summer. We’ve both lived many lives since then, lives that have changed us. But at the core, I hope that our love for one another remains just as strong as it was before. That it can glue us back together.
“You feel this?” I place my hands on his shoulders as I begin to rub myself against him. “It’s yours. Only yours.” I kiss his jaw, each corner of his lips, his mouth. “I wish I could tell you what you want to hear, but I can’t.” Groaning, Ronan holds me by the waist as I undulate my hips over his growing erection. It swells and throbs for me. “All we can do is move on. Together.”
I cup his cheek as Ronan grabs his cock in his hand, pulling me forward with the other, and enters me in one swift, deep thrust. Moaning, I close my eyes momentarily at the feel of him moving inside me. So hard. So thick. “I know that too much has happened and it has changed us, but together we will get through it. I know it.”
Ronan thrusts upwards. “Are you thinking about him now?”
“No, baby.” I caress the crest of his cheek. “I’m not.”
We fuck then. It’s angry and fast. Bruising. It is as though he’s trying to fuck Lawrence’s memory out of me, out of the room, out of my heart until it’s only him I feel inside, around me, everywhere. He brands himself on me, in me, claiming me as his once again.