As she headed for the door of her dorm room, Elena rummaged through her bag, checking off a mental list: wallet, keys, phone, lip gloss, eyeliner, hairbrush, student ID. As she swung the door open, something fluttered to the ground.
A perfect white daisy had fal en to the floor. Elena reached down and picked it up. Turning it in her hand, she felt a sudden sharp ache in her chest. God, I miss Stefan.
She had no doubt the daisy was from him. It was just like him to let her know he was thinking of her while stil respecting her space.
The ache in her chest was slowly replaced with a sweet glowing feeling. It seemed so sil y and artificial to avoid talking to Stefan. She loved him. And, beyond that, he was one of her best friends. Elena pul ed out her phone to cal him.
And then she stopped. Taking a deep breath, she put the phone back into her bag.
If she talked to Stefan, she would want to see him. If she saw him, she would want to touch him. If she touched him, it would al be over. She would find herself fal ing into him, entangled in love. And then she would look up and see Damon's dark unfathomable eyes watching them and feel that pul toward him. And then the brothers would look at each other, and love and pain and fury would pass over their faces, and everything would start up again.
It had felt good to walk away from them for a while, even though it was heartbreaking and awful and terribly lonely, too. But, since then, Elena had felt a calm settle over her.
She wasn't happy, exactly - it was like she was covered with bruises, and if she wasn't careful, pain would flood over her as she remembered what she had done. But she also felt as if she had been holding her breath for weeks and now was able to exhale.
She knew that Stefan would be waiting for her when she was ready to face him again. Wasn't that what the daisy meant?
She tucked the flower inside her bag and set off down the hal , her heels clicking firmly. Elena was going to go out with her friends, she was going to have fun, and she wasn't going to think about Stefan, or Damon. Or even the disappearances, or Christopher's death. Elena sighed under the weight of it al . For days, they had been mourning, and now Elena and her friends needed to embrace life again. They deserved an evening of freedom. They needed to remember what they were fighting for.
"There she is," Elena heard Bonnie say as she entered the crowded bar. "Elena! Over here!"
Bonnie, Meredith, and a girl Elena didn't know were sitting at a smal table near the dance floor. They had invited Matt to come out with them, but he'd said he had to study, his face politely closed off, and they knew he wasn't ready yet and that he needed some time alone.
Meredith, graceful and relaxed, gave Elena a cool smile in greeting and introduced her friend Samantha. Samantha was lean, bright eyed, and alert. She seemed like she had energy to spare, shifting from side to side, chatting without stopping.
Bonnie, too, was clearly on tonight and started talking as soon as Elena reached the table. Bonnie was brave, Elena thought. Christopher's death had shocked her, and she was as worried about Matt as any of them, but she would stick out her chin and smile and gossip and go on with life just as hard as she could, because they had decided that was what tonight would be about.
"I got you a Coke," Bonnie said. "They carded me, so I couldn't get anything else. Guess what?" She paused dramatical y. "I cal ed Zander, and he said he'd definitely try to make it here tonight. I can't wait for you guys to meet him!" Bonnie was practical y bouncing out of her seat with excitement, red curls flipping everywhere.
"Who's Zander?" asked Samantha innocently.
Meredith gave Elena a sly glance. "You know, I'm not sure," she said with mock confusion. "Bonnie, tel us about him."
"Yes," Elena added, smirking. "I don't think you've mentioned him at al , have you?"
"Shut up, you guys," Bonnie said amiably, and, leaning over the table to Samantha, started to extol al of Zander's virtues to her fresh audience. Elena let her mind wander.
She'd heard it al , night after night in their dorm lately: Zander's eyes, Zander's smile, Zander's bashful charm, Zander's very hot bod (Bonnie's words). How Zander and Bonnie studied together in a tucked-away corner of the library and Zander brought Bonnie secret snacks even though it was totally against the library rules. The way they talked on the phone every night, the long velvety pauses when it seemed like Zander was on the verge of whispering something intimate, something no one but Bonnie could know, but then instead he would make a joke that made Bonnie laugh like crazy. There was something so sweet about Bonnie with a crush. Elena real y hoped this guy was worthy of her.
"He hasn't kissed me yet," Bonnie added, eyes wide.
"Soon, though. I hope."
"The very first kiss," Samantha said, and wiggled her eyebrows. "Maybe tonight?" Bonnie just giggled in response.
That ache was back in Elena's chest, and she pressed her hand against her sternum. During her first kiss with Stefan, the world had fal en away and there had been just the two of them, lips and souls touching. Everything had seemed so clear then.
She took a deep breath and wil ed away tears. She wasn't going to remember anything tonight; she was just going to have a good time with her friends.
Having Samantha there, Elena soon realized, was going to be a huge help with that. If it had been just Elena, Meredith, and Bonnie, they would have ended up discussing Christopher's murder and the disappearances on campus, combing obsessively over the very few things they knew and theorizing about everything they didn't. But with Samantha there, they had to keep the conversation light.
Somehow Bonnie got off the topic of wonderful Zander and on to palm reading. "Look," she said to Samantha.
"See the line that crosses down your palm, across the other three lines? That's a fate line, not everybody has that."
"What does it mean?" Samantha said, gazing at her own palm with great interest.
"Well," Bonnie said, her brow furrowing, "it changes direction a lot - see here? and here? - which means that your destiny is going to change because of outside forces influencing you."
"Hmm," Samantha said. "How about love? Wil I meet somebody amazing tonight?"
"No," Bonnie said slowly, and her voice changed, taking on a flat, almost metal ic, tone. Elena glanced up quickly to see that Bonnie's pupils were dilated, her eyes looking away from Samantha's palm into the distance. "Not tonight.
But there's someone waiting for you who wil change everything. You'l meet him soon."