"I HAVE NOTHING TO WEAR!" I MOANED TO MYSELF.
Every item of clothing I owned was strewn across my bed; my drawers and closets were bare. I stared into the empty recesses, willing something suitable to appear.
My khaki skirt lay over the back of the rocking chair, waiting for me to discover something that went with it just exactly right. Something that would make me look beautiful and grown up. Something that said special occasion. I was coming up empty.
It was almost time to go, and I was still wearing my favorite old sweats. Unless I could find something better here - and the odds weren't looking good at this point - I was going to graduate in them.
I scowled at the pile of clothes on my bed.
The kicker was that I knew exactly what I would have worn if it were still available - my kidnapped red blouse. I punched the wall with my good hand.
"Stupid, thieving, annoying vampire!" I growled.
"What did I do?" Alice demanded.
She was leaning casually beside the open window as if she'd been there the whole time.
"Knock, knock," she added with a grin.
"Is it really so hard to wait for me to get the door?"
She threw a flat, white box onto my bed. "I'm just passing through. I thought you might need something to wear."
I looked at the big package lying on top of my unsatisfying wardrobe and grimaced.
"Admit it," Alice said. "I'm a lifesaver."
"You're a lifesaver," I muttered. "Thanks."
"Well, it's nice to get something right for a change. You don't know how irritating it is - missing things the way I have been. I feel so useless. So . . . normal." She cringed in horror of the word.
"I can't imagine how awful that must feel. Being normal? Ugh."
She laughed. "Well, at least this makes up for missing your annoying thief - now I just have to figure out what I'm not seeing in Seattle."
When she said the words that way - putting the two situations together in one sentence - right then it clicked. The elusive something that had been bothering me for days, the important connection that I couldn't quite put together, suddenly became clear. I stared at her, my face frozen with whatever expression was already in place.
"Aren't you going to open it?" she asked. She sighed when I didn't move immediately, and tugged the top of the box off herself. She pulled something out and held it up, but I couldn't concentrate on what it was.
"Pretty, don't you think? I picked blue, because I know it's Edward's favorite on you."
I wasn't listening.
"It's the same," I whispered.
"What is?" she demanded. "You don't have anything like this. For crying out loud, you only own one skirt!"
"No, Alice! Forget the clothes, listen!"
"You don't like it?" Alice's face clouded with disappointment.
"Listen, Alice, don't you see? It's the same! The one who broke in and stole my things, and the new vampires in Seattle. They're together!"
The clothes slipped from her fingers and fell back into the box.
Alice focused now, her voice suddenly sharp. "Why do you think that?"
"Remember what Edward said? About someone using the holes in your vision to keep you from seeing the newborns? And then what you said before, about the timing being too perfect - how careful my thief was to make no contact, as if he knew you would see that. I think you were right, Alice, I think he did know. I think he was using those holes, too. And what are the odds that two different people not only know enough about you to do that, but also decided to do it at exactly the same time? No way. It's one person. The same one. The one who is making the army is the one who stole my scent."
Alice wasn't accustomed to being taking by surprise. She froze, and was still for so long that I started counting in my head as I waited. She didn't move for two minutes straight. Then her eyes refocused on me.
"You're right," she said in a hollow tone. "Of course you're right. And when you put it that way. . . ."
"Edward had it wrong," I whispered. "It was a test . . . to see if it would work. If he could get in and out safely as long as he didn't do anything you would be watching out for. Like trying to kill me. . . . And he didn't take my things to prove he'd found me. He stole my scent . . . so that others could find me."
Her eyes were wide with shock. I was right, and I could see that she knew it, too.
"Oh, no," she mouthed.
I was through expecting my emotions to make sense anymore. As I processed the fact that someone had created an army of vampires - the army that had gruesomely murdered dozens of people in Seattle - for the express purpose of destroying me, I felt a spasm of relief.
Part of it was finally solving that irritating feeling that I was missing something vital.
But the larger part was something else entirely.
"Well," I whispered, "everyone can relax. Nobody's trying to exterminate the Cullens after all."
"If you think that one thing has changed, you're absolutely wrong," Alice said through her teeth. "If someone wants one of us, they're going to have to go through the rest of us to get to her."
"Thanks, Alice. But at least we know what they're really after. That has to help."
"Maybe," she muttered. She started pacing back and forth across my room.
Thud, thud - a fist hammered against my door.
I jumped. Alice didn't seem to notice.
"Aren't you ready yet? We're gonna be late!" Charlie complained, sounding edgy. Charlie hated occasions about as much as I did. In his case, a lot of the problem was having to dress up.
"Almost. Give me a minute," I said hoarsely.
He was quiet for half a second. "Are you crying?"
"No. I'm nervous. Go away."
I heard him clump down the stairs.
"I have to go," Alice whispered.
"Why?"
"Edward is coming. If he hears this . . ."
"Go, go!" I urged immediately. Edward would go berserk when he knew. I couldn't keep it from him for long, but maybe the graduation ceremony wasn't the best time for his reaction.
"Put it on," Alice commanded as she flitted out the window.
I did what she said, dressing in a daze.
I'd been planning to do something more sophisticated with my hair, but time was up, so it hung straight and boring as on any other day. It didn't matter. I didn't bother to look in the mirror, so I had no idea how Alice's sweater and skirt ensemble worked. That didn't matter, either. I threw the ugly yellow polyester graduation robe over my arm and hurried down the stairs.
"You look nice," Charlie said, already gruff with suppressed emotion. "Is that new?"
"Yeah," I mumbled, trying to concentrate. "Alice gave it to me. Thanks."
Edward arrived just a few minutes after his sister left. It wasn't enough time for me to pull together a calm faade. But, since we were riding in the cruiser with Charlie, he never had a chance to ask me what was wrong.
Charlie had gotten stubborn last week when he'd learned that I was intending to ride with Edward to the graduation ceremony. And I could see his point - parents should have some rights come graduation day. I'd conceded with good grace, and Edward had cheerfully suggested that we all go together. Since Carlisle and Esme had no problem with this, Charlie couldn't come up with a compelling objection; he'd agreed with poor grace. And now Edward rode in the backseat of my father's police car, behind the fiberglass divider, with an amused expression - probably due to my father's amused expression, and the grin that widened every time Charlie stole a glance at Edward in his rearview mirror. Which almost certainly meant that Charlie was imagining things that would get him in trouble with me if he said them out loud.
"Are you all right?" Edward whispered when he helped me from the front seat in the school parking lot.
"Nervous," I answered, and it wasn't even a lie.
"You are so beautiful," he said.
He looked like he wanted to say more, but Charlie, in an obvious maneuver that he meant to be subtle, shrugged in between us and put his arm around my shoulders.
"Are you excited?" he asked me.
"Not really," I admitted.
"Bella, this is a big deal. You're graduating from high school. It's the real world for you now. College. Living on your own. . . . You're not my little girl anymore." Charlie choked up a bit at the end.
"Dad," I moaned. "Please don't get all weepy on me."
"Who's weepy?" he growled. "Now, why aren't you excited?"
"I don't know, Dad. I guess it hasn't hit yet or something."
"It's good that Alice is throwing this party. You need something to perk you up."
"Sure. A party's exactly what I need."
Charlie laughed at my tone and squeezed my shoulders. Edward looked at the clouds, his face thoughtful. My father had to leave us at the back door of the gym and go around to the main entrance with the rest of the parents.
It was pandemonium as Ms. Cope from the front office and Mr. Varner the math teacher tried to line everyone up alphabetically.
"Up front, Mr. Cullen," Mr. Varner barked at Edward.
"Hey, Bella!"
I looked up to see Jessica Stanley waving at me from the back of the line with a smile on her face. Edward kissed me quickly, sighed, and went to go stand with the C's. Alice wasn't there. What was she going to do? Skip graduation? What poor timing on my part. I should have waited to figure things out until after this was over with.
"Down here, Bella!" Jessica called again.
I walked down the line to take my place behind Jessica, mildly curious as to why she was suddenly so friendly. As I got closer, I saw Angela five people back, watching Jessica with the same curiosity. Jess was babbling before I was in earshot.
". . . so amazing. I mean, it seems like we just met, and now we're graduating together," she gushed. "Can you believe it's over? I feel like screaming!"
"So do I," I muttered.
"This is all just so incredible. Do you remember your first day here? We were friends, like, right away. From the first time we saw each other. Amazing. And now I'm off to California and you'll be in Alaska and I'm going to miss you so much! You have to promise that we'll get together sometimes! I'm so glad you're having a party. That's perfect. Because we really haven't spent much time together in a while and now we're all leaving. . . ."
She droned on and on, and I was sure the sudden return of our friendship was due to graduation nostalgia and gratitude for the party invite, not that I'd had anything to do with that. I paid attention as well as I could while I shrugged into my robe. And I found that I was glad that things could end on a good note with Jessica. Because it was an ending, no matter what Eric, the valedictorian, had to say about commencement meaning "beginning" and all the rest of the trite nonsense. Maybe more for me than for the rest, but we were all leaving something behind us today.
It went so quickly. I felt like I'd hit the fast forward button. Were we supposed to march quite that fast? And then Eric was speed talking in his nervousness, the words and phrases running together so they didn't make sense anymore. Principal Greene started calling names, one after the other without a long enough pause between; the front row in the gymnasium was rushing to catch up. Poor Ms. Cope was all thumbs as she tried to give the principal the right diploma to hand to the right student.
I watched as Alice, suddenly appearing, danced across the stage to take hers, a look of deep concentration on her face. Edward followed behind, his expression confused, but not upset. Only the two of them could carry off the hideous yellow and still look the way they did. They stood out from the rest of the crowd, their beauty and grace otherworldly. I wondered how I'd ever fallen for their human farce. A couple of angels, standing there with wings intact, would be less conspicuous.
I heard Mr. Greene call my name and I rose from my chair, waiting for the line in front of me to move. I was conscious of cheering in the back of the gym, and I looked around to see Jacob pulling Charlie to his feet, both of them hooting in encouragement. I could just make out the top of Billy's head beside Jake's elbow. I managed to throw them an approximation of a smile.
Mr. Greene finished with the list of names, and then continued to hand out diplomas with a sheepish grin as we filed past.
"Congratulations, Miss Stanley," he mumbled as Jess took hers.
"Congratulations, Miss Swan," he mumbled to me, pressing the diploma into my good hand.
"Thanks," I murmured.
And that was it.
I went to stand next to Jessica with the assembled graduates. Jess was all red around the eyes, and she kept blotting her face with the sleeve of her robe. It took me a second to understand that she was crying.
Mr. Greene said something I didn't hear, and everyone around me shouted and screamed. Yellow hats rained down. I pulled mine off, too late, and just let it fall to the ground.
"Oh, Bella!" Jess blubbered over the sudden roar of conversation. "I can't believe we're done."
"I can't believe it's all over," I mumbled.
She threw her arms around my neck. "You have to promise we won't lose touch."
I hugged her back, feeling a little awkward as I dodged her request. "I'm so glad I know you, Jessica. It was a good two years."
"It was," she sighed, and sniffed. Then she dropped her arms. "Lauren!" she squealed, waving over her head and pushing through the massed yellow gowns. Families were beginning to converge, pressing us tighter together.
I caught sight of Angela and Ben, but they were surrounded by their families. I would congratulate them later.
I craned my head, looking for Alice.
"Congratulations," Edward whispered in my ear, his arms winding around my waist. His voice was subdued; he'd been in no hurry for me to reach this particular milestone.
"Um, thanks."
"You don't look like you're over the nerves yet," he noted.
"Not quite yet."
"What's left to worry about? The party? It won't be that horrible."
"You're probably right."
"Who are you looking for?"