We came too close to losing her.
My hands shake a little as I fumble with the backpack zipper.
“I’m perfectly all right, Grace,” she insists. “Truly.”
I watch her, study her, checking for—I don’t know, signs of pain or a bad reaction to the poison or something. She pats me on the arm before grabbing one of the reorganized backpacks and carrying it over to where Gretchen has piled the ones staying here. Except for the disheveled hair and slightly pale skin, she looks fine, though. I hope that means she really is fine.
“She’s stronger than she looks,” Thane says.
He’s watching her intently, just like I was doing a second ago.
He’s right. She may not have Gretchen’s physical strength, but inside she’s tough. Bugging her and making her reassure me over and over isn’t very helpful or healing.
“I know,” I reply, turning to lean back against the table.
Thane doesn’t move. He just stands there, staring blankly across the cave. He’s not quite looking at her anymore, like he’s trying to act casual.
After more than half a lifetime together, I can read him too well. I can see beneath the surface. Greer drops a bottle of water, and his eyes are immediately on her as she bends to pick it up. Though he’s trying to hide it, his attention is fully focused on Greer. Something more is going on here than he wants me to know, and considering everything that’s happening, it’s past time he told me. Secrets lead to problems.
I clear my throat. “Can we talk for a sec?”
He looks at me, questioning. I lift my brows in return—I’m serious about this—and he shrugs. I nod my head toward the cave entrance, away from the ears of everyone gathered inside. He throws one last glance at Greer, as if he has to re-assure himself one more time, and then follows me toward the cave entrance.
Total privacy isn’t really an option in this tiny space, but we’re as far from the others as we can get while still being safely inside.
I stop in front of the narrow tunnel that leads back out into the main cavern of the abyss, turn to face him, and cross my arms over my chest. Thane stands perfectly still, unblinking and tense. I don’t need Greer’s power to know he knows exactly what I’m going to ask.
“Tell me,” I say.
He hesitates and then shakes his head.
“What’s going on?” I demand. “You clearly know more about all of this”—I wave my hands at the general circumstances of my life—“than you should. That sword. The hellebore. Tell me.”
“No.”
No? I jerk back, shocked. “Why not?”
He shakes his head again, his stormy eyes darkening to almost black.
“You know everything I know,” I insist. “I have no secrets.”
He cocks one brow at me.
A flash of heat burns my cheeks.
Okay, I have almost no secrets. I haven’t been completely open and forthright about how I’m sorta, kinda, maybe dating his friend Milo. Maybe when I know for sure if we’re together, I’ll talk to Thane about it. For now I’m too afraid to mess things up. Besides, that’s hardly relevant to our situation here.
I correct my statement. “I have no secrets about this.”
He softens, just barely—there’s a slight drop in the rigid stance of his shoulders—but I can tell he’s battling this on the inside.
“Grace-face, I—” He cuts himself off, frowning like he’s thought better of answering. “I can’t.”
What a cop-out.
“You can,” I throw back, “but you won’t.”
He shrugs as if there’s no difference.
I study him intently, trying to think of some reason that he wouldn’t want to tell me the truth. He’s not the kind to be embarrassed, so I’m sure that’s not it. He also wouldn’t keep something from me unless he felt he had to. The only other thing he’s ever been this secretive about is his past—the time before Mom and Dad adopted him into our family.
He’d only been eight. What could that have to do with this?
“If this is about your past,” I say, “it doesn’t matter. I don’t care about anything that happened before we even met. I love you. Besides,” I continue, “I know you. I know it can’t be anything bad.”
He stares at me, unblinking.
I whisper, “It can’t be that bad.”
His cheeks flush with color, and I’m stunned by his re-action. He’s scared, of what he’s done and of me finding out. I don’t know what to say. Thane doesn’t have a bad bone in his body. Sure, he and Dad fight about his plans for the future, and he barely gets by in school, but he’s kind and loyal and good. He loves his family above anything. The idea that he ever did something so bad that he’s afraid to tell me . . . I don’t believe it.
As I shake my head, he drops his gaze away. “Leave it, Grace,” he says. “Please.”
That shocks me even more than his refusal to answer. Thane doesn’t beg—ever—which only makes whatever he’s hiding scarier. He’s my brother in every way that matters. I won’t push him to tell the secret that causes him so much pain as long as it’s not dangerous.
I stiffen my spine. “Will it endanger my sisters or our mission?”
He flinches, as if the very idea hurts him. “No. Never.”
Thane and I exchange a look, and I know he understands.