“It is an insult to our future marriage to put a locked door between us.”
“It is also an insult to your future wife to assume that her wishes have no bearing if they interfere with yours.”
He waved that comment away. “You did not answer my question. Why are you covered in blood? What have you been doing, killing more of Amarantha’s pets? I warn you, I will not take it kindly if you do anything further to jeopardize the months of hard work I have committed to reestablishing relations with the faeries.”
“Is that all you can think about?” I shouted. “There are bigger things going on here than your advancement in Lucifer’s kingdom.”
“As my future wife, you should be more invested in my advancement—” he began.
I cut him off. “Enough. Really, enough. You need to stop acting like you can use our engagement as some kind of lever to get me to do what you want. I don’t want to marry you, and you talking about it like I’m entering into indentured servitude is not making me feel better about the situation.”
He narrowed his eyes at me. “So, you finally admit that you hate me.”
I clenched my fists. “Did I say that? No, I said that I don’t want to marry you. And why would I? I don’t know you. My father forced me into an engagement with you and all you do is tell me how I ought to be acting so that it reflects better on you.”
“And all you do is sneer at me and treat me with disrespect. It is clear to everyone that you despise me.”
His anger seemed to be growing with each passing moment. I could feel the aura of magic around him pulsing out, pushing against me in fury. There was something unnatural about that power, something that felt not quite like the power he had shown before. My burned-out magic still lay quiet somewhere inside me, and I felt a little afraid. But my own anger overrode that feeling.
“You haven’t done very much to try to make me like you.”
“Did I not assist you in finding the gargoyle? Did I not save you from the spider in the forest when you were overcome by poison? Have I not kept the secret of the thrall’s disappearance from my lord, as you have asked? You do not know in what jeopardy I have placed myself by this action. Lord Azazel would be in his rights to cast me out of the courts of the fallen, to torture me, to sell me to a demon court in punishment.”
I realized that he had put himself in danger for me, and I felt my anger let up a little. I still didn’t like him very much, still didn’t want to marry him, but it seemed like he was trying. I opened my mouth to apologize, to try to smooth things over, but it was too late.
“And not only do you despise me, but you have shamed me,” he said, and his eyes were not exactly Nathaniel’s eyes. There was venom, a pulse of malice that, for all his irritating personal habits, I would never associate with Nathaniel. Something was wrong here, something more than Nathaniel’s wounded pride. But I was too angry myself to pay attention to that sense of wrongness.
I felt my temper fire up again. “Shamed you how?”
“By loving the thrall,” he said.
I felt everything inside me go still. No one could know about that. No one could even suspect that I felt that way about Gabriel. Well, Lucifer knew, but he was keeping that card in his pocket for some reason of his own. But nobody else could know. If they did, Lucifer’s hand would be forced and Gabriel’s life would be forfeit. It wouldn’t even matter that nothing physical had ever happened between us other than a couple of kisses. Even the possibility that a half nephilim might breed with the daughter of Lord Azazel would be enough to send the sword to his neck.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I said, and my voice was all wobbly.
“Liar,” he replied, and he stalked toward me. “It is there for anyone with eyes to see.”
Was that true? Had I betrayed us? I’d thought I’d done a better job of hiding my feelings.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I said again, and this time my voice was clear and confident. “Gabriel is my bodyguard, nothing more.”
Nathaniel gripped my shoulders and squeezed so hard that I cried out. I tried to pull away from him but he held me firmly in place and I felt panic rise up. He was stronger than me, a lot stronger. And I had no magic.
“He may be nothing more than your bodyguard now,” Nathaniel hissed. “But that is not what you desire of him. It is there in every look that passes between you. It is there in the way that he stands too close to you. It is there in the way your fingertips brush when you walk side by side. It was there in your eyes when you asked me to help you find him, to help you keep the secret of his disappearance from Azazel. Your heart speaks through your face, Madeline. Your love for that thing is there for all to see, and my heart burns in shame when I see it.”
His hands clenched tighter. He was going to bruise my shoulders. I tried to calm him, to soothe.
“Nathaniel, I’m sorry you think that. I’m sorry you feel that way.” I flapped my hands ineffectually at the ends of my wrists. My arms were locked to my sides. “Nathaniel. Nathaniel, you’re hurting me.”
His eyes had turned from frost blue to a dark and blazing sapphire. He looked at me but also beyond at something else only he could see. He pulled me tighter, pulled me closer, until our bodies were pressed together and I couldn’t escape his embrace. I was horrified to feel his erection brush against my stomach.
“Sorry?” he repeated, and his eyes refocused on mine. They were the eyes of a predator. It was like Nathaniel was gone, replaced by something monstrous. “Sorry? I will make you sorry.”