I CERTAINLY HADN'T EXPECTED to walk away from today's trip with joint custody of a miniature dragon. (I refused to call it a demon). And, as it turned out, Adrian was already proving not to be the most dedicated of "fathers."
"You can take him for now," he told me when we got back to Amberwood. "I'll handle weekend visitations."
"You don't have anything going on. Besides, we're only a few days from the weekend," I protested. "And you don't know that it's a 'he.'"
"Well, I don't think he'll mind, and besides, I'm not going to investigate to find out the truth." Adrian put the quartz in the basket and closed the lid before handing it over to me. "You don't have to summon him back, you know."
I took the basket and opened the car door. "I know. But I feel kind of bad leaving him as a rock." Ms. Terwilliger had told me it'd be healthier for him if I let him out once in a while.
"See? Motherly instinct already. You're a natural, Sage." Adrian grinned and handed me a bag of pie slices. He'd kept some for himself. "Look at you. You don't even need to break the tattoo. You think you would've been mothering a baby dragon a month ago?"
"I don't know." But he had a point. It seemed likely I would've run screaming from it back in the desert. Or maybe tried to exorcise it. "I'll take him for now, but you've got to pull your weight at some point. Ms. Terwilliger says the callistana needs to spend time with both of us. Hmm."
"Hmm, what?"
I shook my head. "Just getting ahead of myself. Wondering what I'd do with him if I did go to Mexico."
Adrian gave me a puzzled look. "What about Mexico?"
It had never come up, I realized. All Adrian had known about was Marcus's mission and the initial tattoo breaking, not the sealing. I hadn't been keeping the rest a secret, but suddenly, I felt uncomfortable telling Adrian about it.
"Oh. Well, Marcus says that after I perform this rebellious act, we can break the elements and free me from the tattoo's control. But to truly bind the spell and make sure the tattoo is never repaired, I need to tattoo over it - like he did. He calls it sealing. But it takes some special compound that's hard to find. He got his done in Mexico and is going to take some of his Merry Men there so they can do it."
"I see." Adrian's smile had vanished. "So. Are you joining them?"
I shrugged. "I don't know. Marcus wants me to."
"I'm sure he does."
I ignored the tone. "I've thought about it . . . but it's a big step. Not just for the tattoo, either. If I did that, there'd be no going back. I'd be turning my back on the Alchemists."
"And us," he said. "Unless you really are only helping Jill because of your orders."
"You know it's not about that anymore." Again, I didn't like his tone. "You know I care about her and . . . and the rest of you."
His face was hard. "And yet you'd run off with some guy you just met."
"It's not like that! We wouldn't be 'running off together. I'd be coming back! And we'd be going for a specific reason."
"Beaches and margaritas?"
I was speechless for a few moments. It was so close to what Marcus had joked about. Was that all anyone associated with Mexico?
"I see how it is," I snapped. "You were all in favor of me breaking the tattoo and thinking on my own - but that's only okay if it's convenient for you, huh? Just like your loving from afar' only works if you don't have an opportunity to get your hands all over me. And your lips. And . . . stuff."
Adrian rarely got mad, and I wouldn't quite say he was now. But he was definitely exasperated. "Are you seriously in this much self-denial, Sydney? Like do you actually believe yourself when you say you don't feel anything? Especially after what's been happening between us?"
"Nothing's happening between us," I said automatically. "Physical attraction isn't the same as love. You of all people should know that."
"Ouch," he said. His expression hadn't changed, but I saw hurt in his eyes. I'd wounded him. "Is that what bothers you? My past? That maybe I'm an expert in an area you aren't?"
"One I'm sure you'd just love to educate me in. One more girl to add to your list of conquests."
He was speechless for a few moments and then held up one finger. "First, I don't have a list." Another finger. "Second, if I did have a list, I could find someone a hell of lot less frustrating to add to it." For the third finger, he leaned toward me. "And finally, I know that you know you're no conquest, so don't act like you seriously think that. You and I have been through too much together. We're too close, too connected. I wasn't that crazy on spirit when I said you're my flame in the dark. We chase away the shadows around each other. Our backgrounds don't matter. What we have is bigger than that. I love you, and beneath all that logic, calculation, and superstition, I know you love me too. Running away to Mexico and fleeing all your problems isn't going to change that. You're just going to end up scared and confused."
"I already feel that way," I said quietly.
Adrian moved back and leaned into his seat, looking tired. "Well, that's the most accurate thing you've said so far."
I grabbed the basket and jerked open the car door. Without another word, I stormed off toward the dorm, refusing to look back in case he saw the tears that had inexplicably appeared in my eyes. Only, I wasn't sure exactly which part of our conversation I was most upset about.
The tears seemed like they were going to stay put by the time I reached my room, but I still had to calm down. Even once my emotions were settled, it was hard to shake his words. You're my flame in the dark. We chase away the shadows around each other. What did that even mean?
At least smuggling a dragon into my room provided a pretty good distraction. I brought the basket inside, hoping demonic dragons weren't contraband. No one stopped me when I went upstairs, and I was left wondering how I was going to confine him if I did summon him back. The basket didn't seem all that secure, and I certainly wasn't going to let him run loose in my dorm room. When I reached my door, I found Jill standing outside, her pale green eyes wide with excitement.
"I want to see him," she said. The bond was strongest in moments of high emotion, and judging from Adrian's face when the dragon had been chasing us, his emotions had been running pretty strong. I wondered if she'd witnessed our argument too or if that hadn't come through the bond. Maybe the tension between him and me was second nature to her now.
"I can't let him out yet," I said, letting her into my room. "I need something to keep him in. Like a birdcage. Maybe I can get one tomorrow."
Jill frowned in thought, then brightened. "I have an idea." She glanced at my alarm clock. "I hope it's not too late."
And without further explanation, she took off, promising to be back soon. I was still a little shaky from today's magic but hadn't had time to rectify the situation after all the other excitement. So, I sat at my desk with a spell book and ate the rest of the now-soft coconut cream pie, careful to first cut off the part where the dragon had eaten. I didn't know if callistanas had communicable germs, but I wasn't taking any chances.
Jill returned an hour later, bearing a rectangular glass aquarium, like the kind you'd keep fish or gerbils in.
"Where'd you get that?" I asked, moving a lamp off my desk.
"My biology teacher. Our guinea pig died a couple weeks ago, and she's been too sad to replace him."
"Didn't she ask what you needed it for?" I examined the tank and found it spotless, so someone had apparently cleaned it after the guinea pig's unfortunate passing. "We can't have pets."
"I told her I was building a diorama. She didn't question it." Jill eagerly brought the aquarium over to the desk. "We can give it back when you get your own."
I set the quartz crystal inside and slammed on the tank's lid, making sure it was securely attached. After more entreating from Jill, I spoke the summoning words. A bit of smoke appeared, and the quartz transformed back into the dragon. Mercifully, he didn't make any more of that screeching, so I guessed he was still full. Instead, he scampered around the tank, examining his new home. At one point, he tried to climb the side, but his tiny claws couldn't get traction on the glass.
"Well, that's a relief," I said.
Jill's face was filled with wonder. "I think he'll be bored in there. You should get him some toys."
"Toys for a demon? Isn't it enough that I give him pie?"
"He wants you," she insisted.
Sure enough, I glanced back at the tank and found the callistana regarding me adoringly. He was even wagging his tail.
"No," I said sternly. "This isn't a Disney movie where I have an adorable sidekick. You aren't coming out."
I cut off a piece of blueberry pie and put it in the tank in case he wanted a midnight snack. No way would I risk a late-night wakeup call. After a moment's thought, I added a stress ball and a scarf.
"There," I told Jill. "Food, a toy, and a bed. Happy?"
The callistana apparently was. He batted the ball around a few times and then curled up on the nest I'd made with the scarf. He looked more or less content, aside from the fact that he kept watching me.
"Aww," she said. "Look how sweet he is. What are you going to name him?"
Like I needed something else to worry about. "His 'father' can name him. I'm already on the hook for the Mustang."
After a bit more swooning, Jill finally retired for the night. I made my own preparations for bed, always keeping one eye on the dragon. He did nothing threatening, however, and I even managed to fall asleep, though my sleep was restless. I kept imagining he'd find a way out and come get into bed with me. And of course, I had my usual fears about Veronica coming after me.
I did hit one stretch of sound sleep, during which Adrian pulled me into a spirit dream. After our earlier fight, I honestly hadn't expected to see him tonight, a thought that had saddened me. The reception hall materialized around us, but the image wavered and kept fading in and out.
"I didn't think you'd come," I told him.
No wedding clothes tonight. He wore what he'd had on earlier, jeans and the AYE shirt, though both looked a bit more wrinkled. He was dressed as he was in reality, I realized.
"You think I'd abandon you to Veronica?"
"No," I admitted. "What's wrong with the room?"
He looked a little embarrassed. "My control's not all it could be tonight."
I didn't understand . . . at first. "You're drunk."
"I've been drinking," he corrected, leaning against one of the tables. "If I was drunk, I wouldn't be here at all. And really, this is pretty good for four White Russians."
"White what?" I almost sat down but was afraid the chair might dematerialize beneath me.
"It's a drink," he said. "You'd think I wouldn't be into something named that - you know, considering my own personal experience with Russians. But they're surprisingly delicious. The drinks, not real Russians. They've got Kahlua. It might be the drink you've been waiting your whole life for."
"Kahlua does not taste like coffee," I said. "So don't start with that." I was insanely curious to know why he'd been drinking. Sometimes he did it to numb spirit, but he seemed to still want to access that magic tonight. And of course, half the time, he didn't even need a reason to drink. Deep inside me, I wondered if our fight had driven him to it. I didn't know whether to feel guilty or annoyed.
"I also had to come tonight to apologize," he said. He sat down, apparently not having the same fears about chairs.
For one inexplicably terrifying moment, I thought he was going to take back the part about me being his flame in the dark. Instead, he told me, "If you need to go to Mexico to finish this process off, then I understand. I was wrong to criticize you for it or even imply that I had some kind of say in it. One of the greatest things about you is that in the end, you always make smart decisions. Can't always say the same for myself. Whatever you need to do, I'll support you."
Those annoying tears almost returned, and I blinked them back. "Thank you. That means a lot . . . and to tell you the truth, right now, I still don't know what I'm going to do. I know Marcus is worried about me eventually getting in trouble and being under their control. Then again, staying part of the Alchemists seems like it'd give me more power, and besides . . . I don't want to leave you. Er, you guys."
He smiled, and it lit up his whole face. Like a flame in the dark. "Well, 'we' are certainly happy to hear that. Oh, and I'm also happy to watch our darling little love child dragon while you're in St. Louis."
I grinned back. "As a rock or in his real form?"
"Haven't decided yet. How's he doing right now?"
"He's locked in an aquarium. I'm guessing I'd wake up if he got into bed with me, so he must still be asleep." I hoped.
"Well, I'm sure getting into bed with you would be - " Adrian held back whatever comment he'd been about to utter. He instead gestured to the table, and a Monopoly board appeared. "Shall we play?"
I walked over and peered at the board. It apparently was also suffering from his drinking, seeing as half the streets were blank. The ones that were there had names like "Castile Causeway" and "Jailbait Avenue." "The board's a little incomplete," I said diplomatically.
Adrian didn't seem concerned. "Well, then, I guess that improves your odds."
I couldn't resist that and took a gamble on sitting in one of the chairs. I smiled at him and then began counting money, happy that all was (relatively) right in the world with us again.