Knowing Carter was on the job with Simone made me feel mildly better, but there was something about him that always unnerved me when it came to Seth - and, well, my love life in general. He was too interested. I'd gotten used to an angel hanging out with my friends, but sometimes I wondered if I was being lulled into some kind of trick. Heaven had its own agenda, just as we did, and their motives were often harder to figure out.
I had a morning shift the next day. It passed by easily until Doug delivered some bad news to me about ten minutes before I was going to leave.
"Can't go with you tonight, Kincaid."
I looked up from my spreadsheet in disbelief. "What?"
He shrugged, hovering near the door to my office. He'd had the same shift as me today, and I had a feeling he was telling me at the end to save himself from hours of anger. Kind of like how people who get fired are told at the end of the day on Friday.
"There's this girl I met...and I can't really turn down the chance to go out with her. Oh, man. She's smokin'. She's got this body that - "
"I don't need the details," I interrupted. "Can't you just take her instead of me? Cody was starting to get into this idea...he'll be really down if it gets canceled."
"No need to cancel. Just go without me. I couldn't bring her instead of you - Cody needs you."
I groaned. "Yeah, but the safety of a group is gone, and I become the third wheel."
"Find someone else to go, then."
It was then that Maddie appeared beside her brother. She was relieving him for the next shift. "Go where?"
My next words made me cringe, but I did not want to go alone with Cody and Gabrielle. "Do you want to go to a, um, metal concert tonight?" At least having another woman along would kill the double date insinuations.
This clearly wasn't an invite that she'd been expecting. "Well...I would, except I've got to close, and then I'm supposed to meet a friend." I had serious doubts about the "I would" part and this so-called friend. Metal was not Maddie's scene. She suddenly brightened. "You know what? You should bring Seth."
"I...what?" I asked.
"Mortensen?" asked Doug, sounding as baffled as me.
"I don't think that's his thing," I said uneasily. I knew for a fact it wasn't.
"Yeah," agreed Doug. "Probably not a good idea."
I hid a frown at Doug's words. With as much as he wanted to get out of this and see his smokin' woman, I figured he'd be willing to push anyone off on me.
Maddie was oblivious. "No, really. He's been cooped up for weeks with the book, and I think it'd be good for him to go out. I think the wedding stuff is stressing him out."
Yeah, that made two of us. "Oh, I don't want to, um, push him outside of his comfort zone," I said lamely.
She laughed. "Like I said, it'd be good for him. I'll go ask him now."
She was gone before either Doug or I could protest. Several moments of silence hung between us. "Well," he said at last. "She can talk him into almost anything. I guess you're set."
"I guess so." He walked off, and I found it intriguing that neither of us was excited about this prospect. It drove home the double date thing even more and also made me feel guilty about Maddie's blind trust. On the bright side - kind of - I supposed it would take some balls for Simone to crash the concert and continue her "seduction" of Seth.
As Doug had predicted, Maddie did indeed convince Seth to go. It was a late show, and the four of us had agreed to meet outside the club around 10:30 so that I could distribute our tickets. Once we were all there, I glanced at the three faces before me, trying to decide whether it was all comical or pathetic. Seth was doing the averting-his-eyes thing, clearly uncomfortable that Maddie had pushed him into this. Cody was paler than usual for a vampire and looked ready to bolt at any moment. In fact, I wouldn't have been surprised if both men teamed up to formulate an escape plan. Gabrielle was the only one who looked excited to be there, her eyes alight and eager.
She was also the only one really dressed for the scene, all in black, with her hair spiked up and makeup done to dramatic levels. Cody and Seth wore their usual street clothes, and I'd dressed somewhere in the middle: black jeans and a black bustier top, adorned with heavy silver jewelry. It was clearly too designer for this place, however.
"Thanks so much for letting me come along with you guys," she said. "I didn't know any of you liked Blue Satin Bra."
"What's not to like?" asked Seth, face innocent.
I kept my eyes away from him because I had a feeling I'd start grinning. I handed out the tickets, and we headed inside, surrounded by a crowd that I decided I'd want on my side if I was ever in a street brawl.
We managed to snag a high-top table in the back. It meant standing the whole time, but at least we had a surface to put our glasses on. "Offer to buy her a drink," I hissed to Cody. The nice thing about playing Cyrano to a vampire was that his enhanced hearing meant I could keep my voice far below levels that Gabrielle could pick up. The noise in the room - even before the band started - also furthered the covert nature of all this.
Cody dutifully obeyed, and when Gabrielle started to dig out cash, he assured her the first round was on him. The smile she gave him seemed to boost his confidence as he headed off.
Seth leaned toward my ear. He stood on the opposite side of me from Gabrielle, and she was too entranced by the sights to even notice us. "This might be crazy enough to work," he murmured.
"Don't get carried away," I responded back, trying not to think of his proximity. "The night is young. Any number of wacky mishaps might ensue."
He smiled. "Those are your specialty, aren't they?"
"Unfortunately, yes."
Cody returned with the drinks, earning more approval from Gabrielle. She wasn't showing any romantic attraction to him whatsoever, but at least she knew he was alive. While I still stood firm that he shouldn't overdo the vampire/Goth thing, I realized we were going to have to work hard to get past the "ordinary" facade she saw.
"Talk to her," I told him. He'd slipped back to his place between me and Gabrielle. "Once they start, it's probably going to be impossible."
"What do I say?"
Seth, overhearing, leaned across me, and I wished I'd covered up more skin. His arm brushing up against me sent thrills through my body.
"Ask her if she's ever seen them live before," Seth said. "If she says no, tell her about this one time you saw them at...I don't know. A private party. If she says yes, ask her what she thought."
Cody gave an uneasy nod. He leaned toward her, and while I only caught bits and pieces of the conversation, she grew animated as she spoke. I leaned back to Seth.
"When did you become an expert in dating advice?" I asked incredulously.
"It's what O'Neill would do."
I scoffed. "You're using fiction to further Cody's love life?"
"Life imitates art, and art imitates life."
"That statement is ridiculous. And, you know, I've never really seen you utilize that advice."
"Well, that's O'Neill's advice. I have lots of characters I can draw from."
"Funny, I don't remember any introverted, stammering writers in your books."
"I don't stammer," he said defensively - though there was a smile under his words. "Besides, maybe there'll be someone like that in the new series."
"Ooh," I said, mocking his melodrama. "What's with the 'maybe'? I thought you had the premise for this whole fantastic new thing figured out."
"I do. But it can always be improved along the way."
"Introvert authors improve everything."
"Damn straight."
Laughing, I remembered that I should have been helping Cody, but he was talking to Gabrielle on his own, which I took as a positive sign. I turned back to Seth. "So does this mean you've figured out the ending to Cady and O'Neill?"
"No." He still held his good humor, despite a small frown on his brow. "One of these days, I'll have to - "
His words were cut off when the eardrum-splitting screech of a guitar ripped through the room. Blue Satin Bra had come onstage while I was talking (flirting?) with Seth. I hated stereotypes, but truthfully: they looked like what you'd expect from an all-guy metal band. Black clothing, piercings, and hair that ran in extremes: shaved or super long. The one thing that differentiated them was, well, the fact that they were wearing blue satin demi bras over their clothes.
Even above the deafening music that followed, I could hear Gabrielle shrieking, "Oh my God!" Her face was ecstatic, and when Cody said something to her, she lit up further and nodded eagerly at the band. My guess was - whether it was true or not - he was reaffirming how awesome they were.
The music forced Seth and me to lean close in order to talk. "You know," he said, "I'm pretty sure the bass player stuffed his bra."
"Nah," I teased back. "It's a push-up bra, so it just seems that way. They do amazing things for cleavage."
All things considered, Blue Satin Bra wasn't that bad. Metal might not be my favorite music, but I was still open to a lot of types. The setting and craziness that ensued throughout the night gave Seth and me lots of material to joke over. We were both in really good moods when the show finally ended and we walked out with Gabrielle and Cody.
"That was awesome," she exclaimed. "Thank you so much for sharing the tickets."
"No problem," I said. My ears were ringing, and I wasn't sure if I was still shouting.
"I think that was the best show I've ever seen," said Cody nobly.
Gabrielle clutched his sleeve, and his eyes widened. "I know! Which was your favorite song?"
Silence.
"Mine was that one were they kept saying 'My Armageddon scales will burn your post office,'" said Seth deadpan.
"Oh, yeah. That's one of their greatest," she said. "It's called 'Plywood Fuck.'"
"That's my favorite too," said Cody. I somehow doubted he'd heard any of the music tonight. His senses were all on Gabrielle.
Perfectly in sync, Seth and I glanced at each other and exchanged secret smiles, both of us amused at Cody's love. I wasn't as far gone as he was, but when our group finally split up, I found myself walking on air too.
"Interesting night," Roman told me when we got home. He'd been along in spy mode. "I think Cody might actually have a chance."
"Maybe," I said. "He's clearly smitten, but she only seems mildly interested. In a friendly way, though."
Roman rummaged through the kitchen and poured himself a bowl of Lucky Charms. "He's not the only one who's smitten."
I sighed and collapsed onto the couch. "Let it go, okay? We all know I'm a long ways from getting over Seth."
Roman gave me a sly look. "I wasn't talking about you."
I stared at him for a moment, my vodka-addled brain trying to make sense of his words. "Wait...you're talking about Seth? He's over me."
"Oh my God, Georgina. Could you be any more delusional?"
"He's getting married."
"That means nothing. If it did, guys wouldn't catch chlamydia at their bachelor parties."
"But he does love Maddie. And no matter what you think about his feelings, he'll be out of my reach once they're married."
"The fact that they're dating means he should already be out of your reach - but past evidence shows that's not true."
I scowled and kicked off my shoes. "Don't bring that up. I feel bad enough - and so does he. If you're just going to taunt me, then I'm going to bed."
But to my surprise, Roman didn't wear that mocking look that had become so typical for him since returning to Seattle. His eyes were serious, his expression - almost - concerned. "I'm not trying to taunt you. I'm just stating the facts. No matter what happens, you and Seth can't seem to stay away from each other. You should put in a transfer request."
"What, out of Seattle?" I asked incredulously. "I love it here."
"You'll learn to love some other place. Honestly, it's the only way you're going to be able to move on - the only way either of you can move on. You're in a situation where you see him every day - tonight being a prime example. He broke up with you, and then you broke up with him for some 'greater good' kind of goal. But if you keep hanging around each other, it won't matter. You'll never heal. You're just going to get your heart ripped out every day."
I was so stunned that I couldn't even respond for several seconds. The old taunt danced in my head: circles and circles. "I...why do you say that? Why do you care?"
"Because I already see it happening every day. You are getting your heart ripped out over and over, and it kills me to watch it happen."
Again, I fell speechless for a moment. "I thought...I thought you hated me. I thought you wanted to destroy me."
He finished his cereal and set the bowl down. I didn't have the will to shoo the cats away. "I don't hate you, Georgina," he said wearily. "Am I upset about what happened to Helena? Absolutely. Am I upset about you lying about loving me? Yes. Do I want some kind of revenge? Maybe. Honestly, my feelings change from day to day. Some days I do want something awful to happen to you. Some days...well, I know you did what you did out of some misguided sense of...I don't know. You thought you were doing the right thing."
I wanted to tell him that I had loved him, in a way. But that probably wouldn't be useful right now. "Well, watching this Seth drama unfold is probably giving you lots of material when it comes to something awful happening to me."
"No," he said, with a weary head shake. "I don't like this. Like I said, I'd rather see you leave and start a new life. Every time I see you now, it's like...it's like watching you die. Over and over."
I stood up, suddenly wanting to sleep. "Yeah," I said softly. "That's kind of what it feels like." I hesitated. "Thanks for listening. And understanding."
"Anytime," he said.
This also caught me by surprise. Somewhere in these last few crazy months, I realized, Roman and I had become friends again. "I hate to ask you this, but, well, I'm not doing a very good job with keeping an upbeat mood tonight. Would you - "
He rose as well. "Yup. I'll watch you sleep. If you can handle the creepy factor."
"It's an acceptable trade," I said with a smile. "Thanks."
And maybe it was the vodka, but I stepped forward and hugged him. He was stiff for a moment, clearly caught off guard, but then he relaxed and wrapped his arms around me. I rested my head against his chest, taking small comfort in someone warm and alive who wasn't a stranger. He smelled like I remembered, the clean, sharp scent of his cologne surrounding me in a way very different from Seth's woodsy smell.
I was just thinking I should pull away when a voice asked, "Am I interrupting anything?"
I jerked away from the embrace and found Carter standing in the living room, arms crossed and one eyebrow arched. Roman seemed equally flustered and took a few steps back as well, getting as far away from me as he could.
"Don't you ever knock?" I asked.
"Not sure you'd answer," said Carter good-naturedly. "Especially with the news I've got."
I groaned. "That was fast. Does it have to do with Simone?"
He nodded. "Afraid so. She met up with Seth again."