Alex pulled a stool over for me so I could sit down and then moved back to give us space.
“How are you?” I wrapped his fingers around mine and fought the tears that were blinding me.
“Not too bad.” He squeezed my hand.
“Liar.” I sniffed.
“I’m sorry I’m leaving you.” His voice was so soft I had to lean forward to hear him.
“Then don’t.”
“I knew it was a lost cause. Can’t win this one.”
“Why didn’t you tell me? Why did you let me go when it was this bad?” I shook my head. “I would have been here for you.”
“No.” His voice rose. “You needed to live life. I wasn’t going to let you give up something so wonderful because of me.”
“I could have gone anytime.” I groaned in frustration. “You stubborn old man.”
“Sam, I didn’t want you to watch me die. Can you understand that? I wanted you to remember me—the real me. Not this leftover husk.”
“You’re still you.” Tears ran down my cheeks. “I could have played crossword puzzles with you and stolen the remote for the TV after you fell asleep.”
“Remember the good times, okay?” He reached up with his other hand. I leaned down so he could touch my cheek and tried not to sob. “You’ve lost so much in such a short time. You deserved to be part of something lasting.”
“Our family is lasting.” I leaned into his palm. His fingers were so cold it broke my heart. “I wish I had been here.”
“No. I loved hearing about your adventures and seeing your pictures.” His hand fell and he looked around the room. “Did Alex come with you?”
“I’m here, sir.” Alex moved to stand behind me.
“You take care of my Sam. She’s a feisty thing, but someone needs to love her in spite of it.” He squeezed my fingers and I rolled my eyes.
“I do and I will.” Alex dipped his head in a small bow. “You have my word.”
“Good.” Dad smiled at Alex. “Good.”
His fingers loosened on my hand and I panicked. “Dad?”
“Just tired.” He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. It rattled loudly and I bit my lip. “Love you.”
“Love you, too.”
I didn’t move from that stool until the monitors stopped beeping and the doctors made it official. I hadn’t cried so much in years. The last time was when my mother died in the car accident. When they wheeled him out of the room, Alex pulled me into his arms and rocked me against his chest. I felt small and emotionally raw. I clutched at Alex, needing to know I wasn’t alone.
We buried Dad next to Mom on a bright Thursday morning. Chadwick managed all the arrangements, only asking for input when he needed it. Birds chirped in the trees and it was warm enough to not wear a large coat. There were a lot of people, most of them close friends of my family, people who had served in the military with my dad, and people from school. Cops kept the reporters as far from the funeral home as possible and I barely noticed the cameras. I was relieved to see that many of the people were very respectful of the event. There were so many flowers I’d eventually told the funeral home to start sending them to the hospital. Might as well let the living enjoy them. Rose flew in from Lilaria to attend the ceremony and laid wreaths on both of my parents’ graves and said a few words on behalf of the queen.
I spent a week sorting through my parents’ home. We packed away a lot of stuff to be shipped to Rousseau and got rid of things that weren’t worth keeping. I gave the house to Bert and Jess as an early wedding present. They’d never have to worry about paying rent again. I liked the idea that it wouldn’t just go to some stranger. Jess would brighten the place up and give it new life.
Alex and I had stayed in my childhood room. It amused me to see him walking around such a normal house, washing his hands in the kitchen sink or sitting in my dad’s old chair. I was glad Dad had met him before he passed and I’m not sure I would have realized how important that was to me until it happened.
The last couple of weeks had cemented the relationship between Alex and me. There were no more questions about how we felt about each other. I’d deal with the rest of it when the time came and do my very best.
“We can stay longer,” Alex told me over dinner. “Maybe we could work it out so you can finish your degree here. I could take time away and only go back for the most important functions.”
“Dr. Geller got in touch with his friend in Lilaria. They’re working out a way for me to finish my degree.” I was actually really relieved about that. When Dr. Geller approached me after the funeral with his idea, it had made my heart lighter.
“Still, we could stay.”
“No. I’m ready to go back.” I shook my head.
“You can think about it.” His eyebrows pulled together. “I know you miss your home.”
“My home is where you are.” I reached out and grabbed his hand. “Nothing else matters.”
Chapter Thirty-Four
Long Live the Duchess of Rousseau
—Lilarian Post
Today was the day I would officially become the Duchess of Rousseau. In light of my father’s passing, the queen had pushed the ceremony back until the summer. It had worked out for the best. Not only had I been able to work on my schooling some, but my friends were here. Patricia, Jess, and Bert were representing my family and sitting in the front row.