Illuminae - Page 39/90

I’m settling in very well aboard the Copernicus, which is different to the Hypatia in some ways, and very much the same in others. The lab here is actually quite well-equipped, and it’s almost a relief to get back to what I’m good at. There’s plenty to do, but I’m sure we can get it sorted out in no time. We have a surprisingly good team, given our limited pool of candidates.

I’ve been thinking about our discussion the other day at dinner, and I really think you should give some more thought to joining one of the sports teams. I know it was always more Ezra’s thing than yours, but it would be an excellent way to preserve muscle tone during the journey, and you might meet some more people. I worry about you not having the support network you need, no matter how many times you assure me you’re tough as nails. I know you are, my darling—you’re your father’s daughter—but worrying is a part of my job description.

I’ll wrap up here, but please do let me know how you’re settling without me. I know you’ll handle it with the same determination you apply to everything in your life.

Love always,

Mom

Hey Mom,

So good to hear from you! I admit I half wasn’t expecting it, knowing how lost you get in your work. What’s going on over there that they need a pathologist so badly. Nothing serious, right?

I’ve put in a transfer request to see if I can get over there and join you, but no word yet. I don’t really have any news here. I’m taking the programming classes but I don’t think it’s really my thing. I promise you indoor sports are not my thing either, but I also promise I’ll make sure I make more friends, so you don’t have to worry. Hopefully I’ll be over to the Copernicus soon and you can supervise me doing it yourself!

I’ve been thinking about Dad more, with you gone. I guess he thinks we’re both dead. I know it’ll take months, but I can’t help imagining what it’ll be like when we’re close enough to transmit and he knows we’re okay. I really miss him. I miss you too, but don’t stress about it. Just make sure you TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF. Seriously, I know what you’re like!

Looking forward to hearing about life on the Copernicus when you’re not so beat.

xoxoxo

Kady

Hello darling,

Sorry I’m such a bad penpal. It’s extremely busy over here, and we both know I get a bit distracted. The health concerns here are nothing to worry about, so please don’t. Pathology is just a specialized skill, and it wasn’t going to be practical to send blood samples across to the Hypatia when I could be here.

I really wouldn’t worry about putting in a transfer to move across to the Copernicus. Now I’ve had a chance to look around, it really isn’t as nice a ship as the Hypatia, and I’d be more comfortable knowing you were over there, focusing on your classes. You’ll have a life to pick up when this is over, and your education matters.

I’ve been thinking about your father as well. I miss him very much, too. He always jokes I wouldn’t notice if he went missing, so you’ll have to be sure to tell him for me that you heard me say it! I love him, and goodness, I wish he was here.

Speaking of people we love, I do wish you’d get in touch with Ezra. I can’t think why he hasn’t tried to contact you himself, except that he must be under the impression you don’t want him to. I’m sure if you spoke to him he’d understand that words you spoke in anger back on Kerenza don’t matter anymore in the light of what’s happened. It’s important to let the ones you love know that you love them, and I’d feel better knowing the two of you have each other.

Give it some thought, baby girl, and take good care of yourself! I might not have a chance to write again soon, but don’t worry about me. Keeping busy!

Love you lots,

Mom

Hey Mom,

You’re turning into the worst penpal ever! That’s three letters you haven’t answered! I’m now going to start withholding until you show up. So, you want more news, pony up! What’s going on over there?

Love, your abandoned daughter,

Kady

I’m getting kind of worried. Will you please just send me a one-liner and let me know you’re okay over there?

xK

Date: 07/11/75

Text: I can’t

I want my Mom.

I WANT MY MOM.

I want to feel how soft she is when she hugs me and I lean into her. I want her hair tickling my nose. I want the way she smells, like the lab and clothes softener. I want her humming something really horribly out of tune as she heats up dinner, then starting to sing and making up the words. I want her stuffing my mittens in my bag and then turning out to be right when it starts snowing before lunch. I want to hear her voice on a call with Dad after I’m asleep, all soft and mushy when she thinks I can’t hear, with these long silences when I know he’s doing his charming thing. I want her marathoning shows with me that we’d both die before we admit we watch. I want her making tragic, inappropriate remarks about the boys on the shows in an attempt to pretend she’s not old. I want her talking earnestly about my education. I want her telling me to lighten up.

I just want her telling me anything. What to do.

Please, I want my Mom. I can’t do this on my own.

Mason, E, LT 2nd: they took your mom to the Copernicus

Mason, E, LT 2nd: she was on there when …

Mason, E, LT 2nd: god, i’m so sorry Kades

ByteMe: Ez. please keep talking to me. I’m sorry.