Sir Horace clanked off down the garden path and out past the gate-that-was stuck-on-top-of-the-hedge. It was a nice sunny day, the kind of day when it is fun to be outside. However, it is not fun to be outside with your best ghost who is leaving forever-- especially if he is going to live with Nurse Beryl Watkins. I sighed. I was going to have to add "best ghost gone" to the list of Things that Aunt Tabby Will Not Like When She Comes Home.
On the other side of the hedge someone had stuck a big sign into the grass on the edge of Spookie Lane. There was an arrow on the sign pointing down the lane, and it said:
Auction Toda 6 pm y Follow Signs to Water Wonderland Sir Horace's old castle was being sold . . . Today! Suddenly I had a Big Plan--a very Big Plan. But first there was something very important that I had to find. And I was pretty sure I knew where it was. "Stay there, " I said to Wanda and Sir Horace. "I'll be back in a minute!" I rushed back into Spookie House. I stuck my tongue out at Ned and Jed as I zoomed past them and then I ran upstairs as fast as I could to the ghost-in-the-bath-bathroom. I opened Sir Horace's treasure chest--okay, I know you shouldn't open other people's treasure chests without asking, but this was an emergency--and I rifled through all his dusty old papers. At the bottom of the chest I found what I was looking for--the deed to his castle! Stage one of the Big Plan completed. In case you haven't already guessed, I will tell you what my Big Plan was. Its full title was the Big Get-Back-Sir-Horace's-Castle Plan.
It was perfect and it went like this: I would go to the auction for Water Wonderland--which was, of course, really Sir Horace's old castle. Wanda could come too if she wanted. I would show the auction people Sir Horace's deed, which proves that he still owns his castle. Then the auction people would make Morris FitzMaurice give Sir Horace back his castle. Sir Horace could live there instead of in Nurse Watkins's horrible alcove thingy, and Wanda and I could go and see him whenever we wanted to, and we would have all of his castle--or what was left of it--to play in. Plus, I could cross "best ghost gone" off the list of Things that Aunt Tabby Will Not Like When She Comes Home because Aunt Tabby wouldn't even need to know that he had gone.
You see, there is a secret passage from Spookie House to Sir Horace's castle and Sir Horace could easily go between the two. Sir Horace often disappears into his secret room, so Aunt Tabby wouldn't know the difference. Wanda and I could even go down the secret passage to see Sir Horace--once he had fixed its scary maze. It would be fun. But first I had to stop Sir Horace from going to Nurse Watkins's cottage. I was sure that once he had set his pointy metal foot inside her door he would never be allowed out again. I was going to have to do some Mathilda-style talking. I took a deep breath and began. "Sir Horace, " I said. "There is another birthday tradition at Spookie House. " "Oh?" Sir Horace sounded a little suspicious.
"If someone has a special Plan on their birthday, you have to help them with it. " "Really?" "Yes. If they ask you nicely. " "Ah. And would you be asking me nicely to help you with a special Plan on your birthday by any chance, Miss Spookie?" "Yes. I would. " "I thought you might be. It is strange--there are so many new birthday traditions this year in Spookie House. " "All traditions have to be new sometime, Sir Horace. " "Very true, Miss Spookie. I myself remember quite a few when they were new. So what is your Plan that you require special birthday help with?" Now, I didn't want to tell Sir Horace my Big Plan right away in case he said no. Sir
Horace can be a bit stubborn at times. So I just said, "Before you go to Nurse Watkins I would like you to come with Wanda and me to your castle. " "Why?" asked Wanda.
"Shhh, " I said.
"I do not wish to see any FitzMaurices, " said
Sir Horace gloomily. "Or wheelbarrows. " Not long ago Sir Horace had a bad experience at Water Wonderland when Old Morris FitzMaurice put him in a wheelbarrow and locked him in the keep. "Wanda and I will make sure you don't see any, " I told him. "We will?" asked Wanda. "Yes, " I said. "We will. Let's get going. " But I could see Wanda did not think this was a good idea. "It's a long way to walk, " she said.
"We can ride our bikes. " "But what about Sir Horace?" "He can ride Barry's bike, " I said. "He's about the same size. " Wanda spluttered, "Sir Horace can't ride a bike!" "What, " asked Sir Horace, "is this bike?" "It's a bit like a horse, " I told him. "With pedals. " "Very well, Miss Spookie, " said Sir Horace. "I shall ride the horse-with-pedals to my castle. And then to Nurse Watkins's. "
I think Sir Horace was surprised that his horse-with-pedals was more pedals than horse. Wanda wheeled Barry's bike out into Spookie Lane for him to try and Sir Horace laughed. "Miss Wizzard, you jest, " he boomed.
"That is no horse. " "But these are the pedals, Sir Horace, " I said. "Look. " Sir Horace did not seem impressed--but when Wanda got on the bike and whizzed up and down the lane, he was amazed. "Aha, now I see why you are called Miss Wizzard. It is the wizardry that keeps you from falling off. " I nearly said that it was the showing off that stopped her from falling off, but I didn't. "No, " said Wanda. "It's riding fast. That's all. "
Sir Horace did not get to be a knight for nothing. He is brave. I think it must have been really scary for a ghost in armor to get on a bike, but he did. Wanda and I held the back of his saddle and we showed Sir Horace how to hold the handlebars and where to put his feet on the pedals while Edmund hovered chewing his ghostly fingernails.
Fang kept running in and out of the wheels, but since he was a ghost it didn't matter, although it looked weird. "Push the pedals, Sir Horace. Push!" we said. Sir Horace pushed and the bike began to move. "Push harder!" Sir Horace pushed harder and the bike wobbled forward. "Keep going, Sir Horace!" "Faster, Sir Horace. You have to pedal faster!" Sir Horace pedaled faster. Soon Wanda and I were running down Spookie Lane as fast as we could. "Go, Sir Horace, go!" we yelled. We let go of the saddle and he pedaled off on his own. He didn't wobble once.
He zoomed off down Spookie Lane with Fang lolloping behind him and Edmund trying to catch up. I felt really proud--we had taught Sir Horace to ride a bike. And then Wanda said, "We never told him about the brakes. " Oops. By the time we had run back to our bikes, gotten on them, and ridden off after Sir Horace, there was no sign of him. At the end of Spookie Lane there is a sharp bend, and as we raced around the bend we nearly rode right through Edmund, who was very stupidly standing in the middle of the road waving his arms. I nearly fell off my bike. "Watch out, Edmund, " I said, annoyed. "You will get run over. " Edmund was jumping up and down like a big green soap bubble. "The horse-with-pedals bolted, " he wailed. "It threw Sir Horace into a hedge!" We followed Edmund down the sandy track that leads off Spookie Lane and goes to the beach. Soon we came to a tall, thick hedge with a big hole in it. Fang was standing guard. Sticking out of the hole were Barry's bike and Sir Horace's feet. Wanda and I grabbed one foot each and pulled Sir Horace out. uite a lot of the hedge came with him--but he was still in one piece. In fact he looked a lot better than the bike.
Barry's bike was not the best bike in the world and it always had a few loose parts. Now it had even more. Sir Horace insisted on getting straight back on the bike. "If you fall off a horse you must get right back in the saddle, " he boomed.
"Particularly if you fall off a horse-with-pedals. " Wanda and I showed Sir Horace how to work the brakes and then we all set off. We cycled along behind the horse-with-pedals because Sir Horace knew the way--the sandy track went past his old castle. It was fun riding along behind Sir Horace. Fang was really excited, and even Edmund was happy because Wanda had offered him a ride on the back of her bike and he was sitting sidesaddle on the luggage carrier. Soon we could hear the sound of seagulls and the sea.
A few minutes later we were cycling along beside a wide ditch, which Sir Horace said was his old moat. And then, as we cycled around a bend, we saw the rest of Sir Horace's castle--Hernia Hall. I was really amazed, because underneath the smashed-up mushroom sheds was a whole forest of ruins, which had been there all the time. It was true that the castle did not look so great anymore, and there was obviously quite a bit missing, but you could easily see it had been a castle. At the sight of his old home, Sir Horace slammed on his brakes in surprise, catapulted over the handlebars, and flew into the old moat. There was a loud thud and he landed in pieces. Drat.