I head straight into the woods behind my house. I brought Alex here a lot this summer. There’s a clearing on the other side where you can park your car and look right out onto the ocean. It’s secluded; nobody really knows about it. A hidden T-Town secret. We’d park there and listen to music, or watch the moon. We just liked hanging out with each other. I liked that I could be myself around him. And I think he felt that way too.
I walk, letting Shep sniff anything he wants, while I have a smoke. When my cigarette’s burned down to the filter, I crush it underneath my boot, grinding my heel until the butt gets mixed up with the dead pine needles and the sand.
When I look up, I see it—Alex’s SUV, parked in the clearing. With another girl inside.
I stumble backward into a tree, then get behind it. Who’s the girl? Is it the one from his party, the one he was lying in bed with?
I squint hard. The girl is petite. Dark hair.
Oh my God. It’s Nadia Cho. I taught that girl how to tie her shoelaces. That’s my first thought.
And my second thought is—Alex Lind is running game on me? With a freshman? I don’t think so. Clearly he has no idea who he’s messing with.
I back up, my heart pounding hard. I reach for my cell phone. I’ve got one bar. What was her number? I must have dialed it a million times. Three five something something. I stare at the keypad, willing it to come back to me. Three five . . . four seven.
She picks up after four rings. “Hello?”
I keep my voice low, my eyes on his SUV. “Just so you know, your sister is in Alex Lind’s car right now. In the woods!” Let’s see how stealth Alex is when Lillia’s chasing him down, ready to saw his balls off with a nail file.
It’s quiet for a second, and then Lillia says, “Who is this?”
“It’s Kat. Did you hear me? I said I’m ten feet away from your sister and Alex hooking up!”
“Kat, my sister’s at home.”
I squint into the dark to try to get a better look. It’s hard to see, but I swear to God that it’s Nadia in his SUV. “I’m not kidding you, Lillia. They’re right in front of me. I wouldn’t normally give two shits, except Alex and I are hooking up. Sort of.”
“My sister is sitting next to me on the couch. I don’t know what you’re trying to do, but whatever it is, don’t bother. And please don’t call me again.”
I open my mouth to tell her that her little sister and Alex were in bed together two nights ago, and hear a dial tone. I look again. I guess I can’t be 100 percent sure it’s Nadia. I mean, I thought it was, but the thing is, Lillia doesn’t lie. Lillia Cho might be a lot of things, but in the years I’ve known her, she’s never been a liar. So I guess it’s not Nadia. I guess it’s just some random dark-haired girl in Alex’s SUV. Another girl who isn’t me.
* * *
I’m in my dad’s old VW Rabbit convertible, all the windows down, music blasting so loud I can’t hear myself think, which is pretty much the point.
I take a lap around the island, cruising past the lighthouse on the ridge, past the big island cemetery with the creepy old family plots, then over to the one-lane airport strip, then along the marina until I’m back at the lighthouse again. There’s nowhere else for me to go. The last ferry pulled out of the harbor hours ago. Otherwise I’d just show up at Kim’s apartment, whether she invited me or not. But I’m trapped on this damn island, so I just keep driving that loop again and again.
Why am I even surprised? Whoever that girl is, she for sure isn’t going to spit in anyone’s face, she’s not going to have to work a crappy job that makes her smell like fish to save up for college, no one is going to call her or her family trash. I thought I might have changed Alex’s mind about me this summer. That’s my bad for thinking he was different. He’s not. He’s just as bad as the rest of them. He bought into Rennie’s lies like the rest of this stupid place.
The next time I look at the clock, it’s after midnight and I’ve only got a quarter tank of gas left. My dad will kill me if I bring his car back on E again. There are only a few gas stations on the island, and I go straight for the one that’s cheapest, over by Bow Tie, that crappy overpriced Italian restaurant in Canobie Bluffs the tourists love.
I’m pumping my gas when I look across the parking lot and see them—Reeve and Rennie and PJ and that bobble head Ashlin. No Lillia. I guess she was telling the truth. She really is at home with Nadia. Anyway, they’re over by the dumpsters, Rennie’s sitting on the hood of Reeve’s truck, and they’re passing around a wine bottle.
Alex told me about this. Rennie works at Bow Tie as a hostess, and she flirts with the bartenders and they give her free booze. She’ll take it out with the trash, and after the restaurant closes up and everyone’s gone home, she’ll come back with her dumb-ass friends and they’ll drink all night.
I should call the cops. I should, but I won’t. I’m no narc.
But hopefully someone else will, because they’re so loud. I can hear them from where I’m standing, every word.
Two headlights come down the road. Reeve pulls Rennie down, and they crouch behind her car, but then PJ screams out, “Alex!” and the whole group runs into the road and stops his SUV.
“Nadi!” Rennie screeches, and runs up to the passenger window. “Isn’t it past your bedtime?”
I knew it. It was Nadia!
Everyone talks for a couple of seconds before Alex starts beeping his horn to get his friends out of the way. I guess he’s in a rush to get Nadia home. It’s after midnight on a school night, and Mrs. Cho would kill Nadia if she caught her sneaking out. Mrs. Cho was really cool but she was also strict. Once she sent Lillia up to her room for a whole hour while Rennie and I were over swimming because she thought Lillia was being a fresh mouth.
When Alex drives off, Rennie catches me looking and points me out. She calls, “Umm, sorry, Kat. I don’t think that gas station takes food stamps!”
I pretend not to hear her. I can’t handle getting into it with her again today.
Reeve whoops and says, “Uh-oh, Kat! You’re not going to let Rennie get away with that, are you? Come on! You’re a tough guy!” He sputters into laughter. “I know I wouldn’t mess with you.”
Gas starts to leak out of the nozzle, and I jam the hose back into the cradle, my hand shaking. Rennie thinks that just because she goes with Lillia’s family on vacations to St. Bart’s or wherever the f**k, that she’s on their level. But she’s not. She lives in a two-bedroom condo with her single working mom. She works at Bow Tie because she has to. That Jeep she drives was a hand-me-down from her mom’s married boyfriend. Rennie might try to pretend otherwise, but we both know the truth: If I’m trash, then she is too.