But I’m also afraid. He goes back and forth. One minute open and charming and so irresistible he steals my breath. Then the next he’s dark and withdrawn, quiet. It takes a lot of energy to spend time with Drew but when he’s acting like this, I forget all the drama and revel in just being with him.
The unexpected rainstorm has made me wet and miserable but I don’t care. Not when I have Drew staring up at me, his blue eyes locked with mine. His face is damp with raindrops and his hair is soaked, as are his clothes, like mine. But we’re in this little tunnel of an alley, covered by a wooden trellis overgrown with ivy and it’s kind of cozy. Tiny white Christmas lights cast a faint glow upon us and it’s dark, the only sound our accelerated breathing and the rain falling on the sidewalk and street only a few feet away.
I feel alone with him. Completely and totally isolated, not worried who might see us or what they might say. We can do whatever we want without fear of judgment or snide remarks. The jealous girls and the jealous stepmoms fade away until it’s just me and him and the rain.
Studying his face, I smooth my index finger along one cheekbone, then the other. He didn’t shave this morning and the stubble on his face is scratchy. Makes me wonder what it would feel like, to have him rub against my sensitive body parts with those roughened cheeks.
A shiver moves through me at the thought.
He’s completely still, only the faint flicker of his eyelids give away that he’s affected by my touch and becoming bolder, I trace his mouth. Slowly, along the curve of his upper lip, then the full lower lip, my finger lingering in the corners, absorbing the tiny droplets of water that dot his skin. He parts his lips, capturing the tip of my finger between them and a gasp escapes me when he gently bites my finger, then licks it.
God. He’s killing me. I don’t know why he’s bolder today, I don’t know why he’s suddenly making moves on me but I’m not questioning it. I want this. I want him.
“You going to kiss me or what?” he asks after I remove my finger from between his lips. “You’re torturing me, you know.”
“Maybe I want to.” I feel flirty, mischievous and the slow grin that spreads across his face at my remark was worth it.
Drew slides his hand up my back until he’s cupping my nape, his fingers gripping my damp hair. I dip my head, our mouths brushing faintly and it’s as if a spark of electricity lights between us.
I’m instantly hungry for him, but I force myself to use restraint. I don’t want to rush this moment. There’s a sort of magic in this space that’s woven its spell around us and I’m not ready to break it yet.
I want to make this moment with him last.
Our lips meet again and again in the most chaste of kisses, every time his mouth connects with mine tingles dance in my stomach. My skin is covered in gooseflesh and I wind my arms around his neck, slide my fingers into his wet hair and clutch him close. His other arm is wrapped around my waist and he pulls me in closer until our wet bodies are plastered together.
“Fable.” He whispers my name, his voice deep and sexy and I part my lips, breathing into him. His mouth is soft and sweet, his tongue warm and damp as it tangles with mine. The slow burn deep in my belly is flaming higher. Higher still, until I’m ravenous, so hot I wish I could claw my clothes off and rub my na**d body against his.
The slow kisses give way to hot, frantic ones. His fingers are so tight in my hair it hurts, but I don’t care. I’m starving for him and I want more. I want everything he can give me.
He breaks the kiss first and I lean my forehead against his, our breathing out of control and loud in the otherwise hushed quiet of the tunnel. The rain seems to have lessened, it’s not as loud and open my eyes to find him watching me carefully.
“Should we make a run for it?” he asks.
I don’t know how to answer. I don’t want him to let go of me. He has such a tight hold, I feel safe. Protected. “It’s still raining.”
“Not as hard, though.”
“We’ll get soaked,” I point out lamely.
“We’re already soaked.” He kisses me, keeps his mouth close to mine when he whispers, “I want to get you out of the rain and back to the guesthouse so we can really be alone.”
My heart flutters in anticipation at his words. He wants me. And I want him too. “Okay,” I agree with a nod and he carefully lifts me off the bench, letting me go so that I slide down the length of his body the entire way. I feel everything, his hard, unyielding muscles, how much I affect him…it’s exhilarating, how much power I have over him at this very moment.
What’s about to happen, this will change everything between us. And for once, I’m looking forward to it. There’s no shame in sex when you’re with a person you care about. He isn’t just another anonymous boy looking to ease that lonely ache inside me.
The realization both excites and terrifies me.
Drew
I couldn’t drive back to the guesthouse fast enough. Traffic was for shit, what with the rain and the roads were slick. I needed to be careful, I caught my back tires skidding across the asphalt a few times when I turned corners and I lowered my speed. Tried my best to be patient.
But with Fable sitting in the passenger seat all wet and sexy, looking good enough to eat, it’s tough.
The moment we get home, I’m out of the truck and opening the door for her. The rain has lessened, though it’s still steady and I have no idea if anyone’s home.
Hell, I don’t really care either. I’m so eager to get Fable inside, I can hardly see straight.
She’s giggling when I pull her inside the guesthouse and shut and lock the door with a finality that brings me complete satisfaction. No one’s going to interrupt this. I won’t allow it. I have to get Fable na**d. Have. To. There’s no other choice.
I press her against the wall next to the front door and brace my hands above her head, kissing her until we’re both stupid with lust. Our h*ps connect, grinding against each other, and the wet clothes we have on is driving me crazy, so I reach for the hem of her shirt and slowly start to tug upward.
“Are you trying to strip me?” She’s teasing, I love the sound of her voice, how it’s full of affection and I nod, unable to say a word for fear I’ll ruin the moment.
She pushes at my chest so I have no choice but to step back, and I watch breathlessly as she reaches for her shirt and slowly lifts it up, up, until she’s pulling it over her head and letting it fall from her fingers to the floor. She stands before me in a pale pink bra trimmed with black lace, her br**sts plumped over the cups and holy shit, all I want to do is take her bra off so I can touch her there.
Her eyes are glowing as reaches for me again and I go willingly, devouring her mouth, running my hands up and down her bare sides. My fingers are getting closer and closer to her bra-covered tits and then I’m there, cupping her, smoothing my thumbs across the front of her bra, earning a sweetly agonized moan for my efforts.
I hear her whisper my name when I kiss her neck and she shivers beneath my lips. I trail my tongue along her skin, savoring her taste, the way she melts against me and I reaching behind her back, fumbling with the clasp of her bra until it comes undone with relative ease.
Nerves make my hand shake and I withdraw from her, smooth my trembling fingers over her hair, across her cheek. We stare at each other, I see how her bra straps are loose around her shoulders and I slip my fingers beneath those lacy straps and slowly pull them down, revealing her to me for the first time.
My breath catches in my throat and all I can do is stare. She’s beautiful, with the prettiest pale pink ni**les I’ve ever seen and I touch her there, circle first one nipple with my thumb, then the other.
She closes her eyes on a hiss, her hands braced against the wall, her chest thrust forward. I lean over her and rain kisses across her collarbone, her chest, the tops of her breasts, the valley in between. I’m teasing her, teasing myself and damn, I already feel like I’m going to explode.
When I finally take a hard nipple between my lips, she thrusts her hands into my hair, her entire body tense as I wind my tongue around and around her flesh. She’s panting, I’m panting and I wish I wouldn’t have started this here. Should’ve waited until I at least got her into a bed.
“Andrew,” she whispers, the sound of my full name stopping me cold and I go completely still as memories wash over me.
Just let me touch you, Andrew I know you’ll like it. It’ll be so perfect between us. Please, Andrew. I know how to make you feel good…
I wrench myself out of Fable’s hold and back away from her, my breath coming in ragged spurts, my brain spinning with old memories mixed with new, fresh ones.
“Drew, what’s wrong? What happened?”
I focus my gaze on Fable, watch as she pushes away from the wall and comes toward me, her br**sts bouncing with her every step, her expression filled with concern. I’m ruining it. I’m letting my past shade my present, hell, my entire future and I’m filled with inexplicable rage.
This wasn’t supposed to happen, not like this, not today and I shake my head, unable to speak, my tongue feels so thick.
She reaches for me, her hand touches mine and I yank away from her as if she burned me. “Drew.” Her voice grows stern, reminding me again of my past and I shake my head again, trying to shake out the shitty thoughts, but it’s not working.
“Don’t shut down on me, Drew. Don’t run away. Tell me what’s wrong.” She’s pleading with me, I swear I see tears streaming down her cheeks, but I can’t tell her what’s wrong.
If she thinks things are bad now, wait until she learns the truth.
“I—I can’t do this.” Without waiting for an answer I turn away from her and escape to my room, slamming the door behind me before I turn the lock. I want her with me yet I want her far, far away. I am a total contradiction and I don’t know what to do with myself anymore. Maybe I really would be better off alone.
I can’t keep living my life like this, letting that—woman control me like she has, but I can’t stop my reactions. I need help. I’m a f**king wreck and I need someone to save me before I become completely unsaved.
Fear ripples down my spine as I take off all my clothes, leaving them in a wet heap on the floor. I ignore my raging erection. I’m so hard, my dick f**king hurts but I refuse to touch myself, no matter how much relief I’ll feel when I’m done. I should be with Fable right now, not alone with my f**ked up memories.
She’s banging on the door, asking me to let her in. I turn and stare at the closed door, my heart pounding so hard the sound fills my head and I can’t really hear anything else. I’m breathing like I just ran hundreds of miles nonstop and my skin feels so tight, I think I might pop. I’m hot. Feverish.
My head spins.
Fuck.
Fable
I stand on my tiptoes and reach at the top of the doorframe, finding one of those hex keys that’ll open any lock. Grabbing it, I jam the thin piece of metal into the lock and turn, thankful when it clicks over with ease.
Maybe I shouldn’t do this. Invade Drew’s privacy when he’s clearly shutting me out. But the way he reacted scared me so bad, and filled me with worry too, I knew I had to go after him and make sure everything’s okay. His expression had been so full of despair when he pulled away from me, I’m not sure what set him off.
I’m scared to discover what’s wrong but I have to do this. For Drew.
When I open the door, I see he’s standing in the middle of the room completely na**d and for a moment, I’m stunned. His body is beautiful, a masculine work of art. Broad shoulders, smooth back with fluid muscles and a butt that looks as firm as steel. My whole body aches to feel him moving against me, with me, but I know that’s not what he needs right now.
“Drew,” I whisper, my voice breaking, almost as much as my heart.
He whirls around, pain and humiliation written all over his face. “You should go.”
“Let me help you.” I start to approach him and he shakes his head.
“Go, Fable. I don’t want you to see me like this.” He hangs his head and my gaze drops to his lower body. He’s erect, hugely erect and I don’t know what happened to ruin what was going to be an undoubtedly beautiful moment between us but there’s nothing I can do about it now.
“You can’t push me away.” I know that’s what he’s doing. What he’s used to. I refuse to let him do it to me too. I’m going to stand my ground and really help him.
I want to stick.
“You don’t want me,” he whispers, his voice harsh. “Not like this. I can’t…you don’t want to deal with me when I’m like this.”
“Please, Drew.” I’m begging and I don’t care. I never do this. I don’t grovel, I try my best to keep it together. But seeing him like this, he scares the hell out of me. I don’t want to leave him alone and I don’t want him to push me away. I feel like at this very moment, I’m all he has. “Tell me what I can do.”
“You can leave.” He turns away from me and I sprint toward him, grabbing his forearm and preventing him from going any further.
“No.” Our gazes clash and I stand my ground, even though I know I must look ridiculous half-dressed and drenched from the rain. “I’m not leaving.”
His eyes drop to my still-bare chest and linger there. My ni**les tighten from his blatant examination and I sway toward him as if I can’t help myself. My body betrays me even though I try my best to pretend he doesn’t affect me. What’s happening between us isn’t about sex right now. Drew needs my comfort. My acceptance.