I stand there, not knowing what to do. She’s giving off a weird vibe. I know she’s upset and she has every reason to be. Not only did her mom pull a really crappy move. Owen blames her for it.
Her back is to me, her blonde hair a mess around her head, and I want to go to her so bad. But I’m afraid she’ll reject me. “Are you coming to bed?” she asks, her voice soft.
She just made up my mind for me. “Yeah,” I say, removing my clothes until I’m only in my boxer briefs. Turning off the bedside lamp, I get into bed and pull the covers over me, wondering if I should reach for her.
I decide to stay on my back and stare up at the ceiling instead, my arms folded behind my head. She’s quiet, she’s hardly moving, and I think she might’ve already fallen asleep.
“Drew?”
Guess she’s still awake. “Yeah.”
“Thank you for letting us stay with you.” She rolls over to face me and I turn my head so our gazes meet. “You didn’t have to do that.”
“What the hell?” I’m irritated. Does she think I’ll let her deal with this on her own? “Of course I had to do that. Where else would you two go?”
She shrugs one shoulder. “I would’ve figured something out. I bet Colin would’ve taken us in. I hear he lives in a freaking mansion. I’m sure he has plenty of room.”
Fuck me. I can’t believe she would say that. The guy was a total dick to me that night I first saw her, making me believe he had something going on with her, and now she’s saying she would’ve moved in with him like no problem?
“I don’t want to inconvenience you,” she continues. “First thing tomorrow before I go to work, I’m going apartment hunting.”
“Why do you do that?” I ask, my voice so low, I sound like I’m growling. But damn it, I’m pissed. “Why do you act like you never want my help? Like you can’t count on me to come through for anything?”
“Seriously?” Her voice rises. “When have you ever come through? I can’t count on anyone. No one. I’ve always taken care of myself. I’m not about to become dependent on you now.”
“Why the hell not? We haven’t been together long enough for me to come through for you when the going gets tough. But I’m here now. Offering everything I have to try to help you and you act like you could give a shit.” My blood is boiling. I’m infuriated she’s treating me like this. A voice inside my head whispers I need to tread lightly, but screw it. The gloves are coming off. I need to tell her how I feel before I explode and really lose my shit.
“I said thank you,” she whispers.
“Yeah, like I held a gun to your head and forced you to say it,” I return, flicking my gaze away from her so I can stare at the ceiling once again.
She’s quiet, I hear the rustle of the sheets and comforter and I glance at her out of the corner of my eye to see she’s curled into a ball, her shoulder shaking. A sob escapes hers and she slaps her hand over her mouth.
God, she’s crying. Probably over how I just yelled at her, like I’m some sort of jackass.
“Come here,” I whisper, gathering her in my arms. She comes to me easily, curling her arms around my middle as she rests her head against my bare chest. Her tears dampen my skin as I smooth her hair away from her forehead. I whisper soft words of comfort close to her ear, hating how despondent she sounds. She’s crying hard, her entire body shaking. I fear her heart might be breaking in two.
“I—I don’t know what to d—do,” she sobs. “I can’t believe she left us with nothing. That she didn’t tell us she was leaving.”
“It’s going to be all right.” I tuck a strand of hair behind her ear, run my index finger down the side of her throat. “I swear, I’ll help you with whatever you need.”
She takes a deep, shuddering breath. “It’s not that I’m ungrateful. I just…I don’t know how to do this. Accept help from someone. I’ve always carried this load on my own. It’s hard to believe someone wants to share the burden.”
“Whatever I can do to help, I’m here. You don’t have to rush and find an apartment right away.” I slip my finger beneath her chin and left her head up. Her cheeks are streaked with drying tears and black smudges ring beneath her eyes. She never washed her face and she looks so lost, so pitiful I lean in and brush a soft kiss to her lips. “Take your time. Find a good place for you and Owen to live.”
I’d rather they stay with me for the long term but I don’t want to push. Having her brother living here with us would be…uncomfortable at first, but Fable is literally all he has.
“Okay.” She nods, as if she’s trying to convince herself. “Okay, you’re right. I do need to take my time and not pick the first apartment that’s available.” She closes her eyes, presses her lips together. “I don’t have any furniture. She took it all. Even my bed! I’ve had that stupid bed for years. It’s not even that comfortable. The mattress is all lumpy.”
I kiss her again. “She’s crazy, baby. Bat-shit crazy for taking everything like she did, and so quickly too. I honestly don’t know how she did it.”
“I don’t know either. It makes no sense.” Fable opens her eyes. “She makes no sense. I tried to stop figuring her out years ago but then she goes and pulls stunts like this and I’m left trying to piece together exactly why it happened.”
“Stop thinking about it.” I kiss her lips one more time, then drop a kiss on her cheek, her nose, her forehead. “We’ll worry about it tomorrow. You need to get some sleep.”
She nods, her eyes sliding closed and she squeezes her arms around me. “I’m sorry.”
“I’m the one who’s sorry. I shouldn’t have yelled at you.”
“I think I needed it.” Her voice is already fading and she nuzzles her face against my chest. “You feel so good, Drew. I love you.”
My heart eases. I’m reassured by her sweetly spoken words. “I love you too.”
Chapter Eighteen
Most of the shadows of this life are caused by our standing in our own sunshine. – Ralph Waldo Emerson
Drew
“So she’s moved in with you.”
“It’s temporary,” I’m quick to tell Dr. Harris. I know what she’s thinking. What everyone will think, though it’s not like I know a ton of people. We’re moving too fast, Fable and I.
But it’s been almost a week since her mom abandoned her and Owen. I just can’t kick her out. They have nowhere to go. Besides, I like having Fable living with me. Owen and I have come to a somewhat uneasy truce. I know he’s not my biggest fan, but the kid is polite, keeps his room clean and doesn’t give me any trouble. Not that I believed he would.
He’s a good kid. Fable’s raised him right.
Doc is tapping away at her iPad. Probably noting how worried she is that I’m living with Fable. “Are you all getting along?”
“For the most part.” I can’t lie to her. “There was tension at first, most of it coming from Owen. He’s hurt that their mom did this.”
“Understandable.”
“He blamed Fable at first.”
“Also understandable. We sometimes look to put the blame on others because we don’t want to believe the truth.” She looks at me pointedly. “We also tend to blame ourselves.”
I know all about that. I get it. “They’ve hashed stuff out, but it’s still a little tense between them. So that means it’s a little tense between Owen and me. But overall, he’s a nice kid. I feel bad for him.” I remember being a teen. My entire world changed in a blink of an eye. I lost all my innocence, my childhood forever.
This betrayal by his mother has taken Owen’s childhood away from him for good.
“Has the mother resurfaced at all?”
“Fable finally received a text from her a few days ago.” And it had infuriated her. Only two sentences, it sent Fable into a funk that had her stewing the rest of the night.
I’m so sorry. Someday I hope you’ll understand.
Fable deleted it immediately, calling her mom every horrific name she could think of.
“Your relationship is already a delicate one. Doesn’t this situation put unnecessary stress on the two of you?”
“If we can get through this, we can get through anything, don’t you think?”
Dr. Harris offers me a kind smile. “One would think. Such a momentous move while in the early stages of your commitment to each other can also turn everything sour. Are you afraid of that? Of losing her after finally getting her back?”
I’m always afraid of losing Fable. The fear stays in the back of my mind 24-7. Most of the time I push it aside and focus on the present day.
“She needs me.”
“And you need her, don’t you?”
“I do.” I take a deep breath. “You won’t want to hear this, but I’d prefer if they lived with me. I like having her there. We don’t spend every waking moment together since she’s working full-time lately and I’m in school, but I like…” My voice trails off.
“You like what?” Dr. Harris asks.
“I like having her in my bed every night. Waking up with her every morning. Just knowing she’s with me gives me a sense of peace I can’t remember ever having in my life.” I rub my thumb against my knee. “I don’t want her to leave.”
“She will eventually. It sounds to me like Fable is a very independent person, right?”
“Yeah.” I don’t want to talk about her any longer. I don’t want to think about her leaving me, even if it is just to live on her own.
As if she can sense me closing up, my shrink changes the subject.
“Have you heard from your dad?”
“He called right before I came inside. I didn’t answer.” I feel guilty for sending him straight to voice mail but I can’t deal with another rant. And that’s all he does when he calls.
Rants about Adele and how much she wronged him. How badly she humiliated him among their friends and his colleagues. He’s the laughingstock of the country club, she’s flaunting her young piece all over town. On and on it went.
I’m over it. I’ll be there for him but he still hasn’t filed divorce papers. I know deep down inside he’s waiting for her to come crawling back and beg for his forgiveness. Fool that he is for her he’ll probably take Adele back.
I can hardly stomach the thought.
“He still doesn’t know?”
She’s referring to Adele and me. I shake my head.
“So she hasn’t said anything?”
“Not that I know of.” Cold fear grips my gut at the mere thought.
“Have you ever considered beating her to the punch?” When I frown, Dr. Harris continues. “Telling your dad before she does?”
“No way.” I shake my head. “I could never work up the nerve to tell him that.”
“It might be easier coming from you. Being honest with your father might take an incredible load off your chest. If he hears it from Adele first, she’s won. You’ve allowed her the chance to tell him, to make up whatever story she needs to tell to make herself look better.”
I study her, let her words sink in. She has a point. I’m way too chickenshit to broach the subject with him, though. “I’ll consider telling him first,” I say only to appease her.
She smiles. “I’m glad.”
* * * *
The moment I leave Dr. Harris’s office I check my phone. Two missed calls from my dad and one from Fable. I call her first.
“You’ll never believe what happened.” She sounds excited. Happy.
“What?”
“I think I found the perfect apartment. Oh my God, Drew, it’s so nice. Two bedrooms, two bathrooms at a newer complex. The rent’s reasonable and the deposit isn’t too outrageous. I went and checked it out with Jen and it’s beautiful. They already ran a credit check on me and said they’d hold the apartment for me, but I have to come up with the deposit by Friday.”
Shit. She’s leaving me. “Where’s it located?” If it’s in a bad part of town, I refuse to let her move there.
“Here’s what’s even better about the apartment. It’s not too far from your place. Like about two miles away, tops. On the other side of the shopping center with the grocery store you like to go to.” She laughs. “I don’t have any furniture but I don’t care. We’ll figure something out. I can shop the Goodwill.”
“Let me help you,” I say automatically because I can’t not make the offer.
“No,” she says softly. “You’ve helped me enough already. The money I’m making at The District is outrageous. The tips have been amazing. That’s what I’m going to use for the deposit to secure the apartment. I have some tip money stashed at your place but not enough.”
“You don’t deposit your tips in the bank?”
“No. It’s mostly all ones and fives. I like to keep my cash in the pocket of an old sweater. Did you know I had almost five hundred dollars stashed in that sweater in my closet when my mom went through the house? Thank God they didn’t find it.”
She’s happy she found a place and I should be too but I’m not. I don’t want her to leave. How can I tell her that without sound cloying or overbearing? “Are you going to my place now?”