“Do you think Bob had something to do with his death?” she asked next. She didn’t want to believe it, didn’t want to consider what that would mean for Peggy.
Roy walked back to the other side of his desk and sat down. “I don’t know, but I’m not ruling it out.”
Olivia’s Christmas was all planned. Justine, Seth and Leif, as well as her mother, would be at her house for dinner by midafternoon. Olivia had invited Jack, too, but unfortunately he’d already made arrangements to join Eric and Shelly and the twins in Reno.
“Next year we’ll be together,” Jack promised. He’d stopped at her place early Christmas morning, before he left for the airport. She gave him her gift—a first edition of H. L. Mencken—and he set his gifts for her under the tree.
“Promise for next year?” she asked, when he’d kissed her farewell.
“Promise.” Jack gathered her in his arms and kissed her again.
Olivia felt the warmth of that kiss all the way to her toes, and when he’d finished, her head was spinning. They were only now recovering their ease and comfort with each other, although they remained a little on edge, afraid of toppling the delicate balance.
For her part, Olivia was careful. Neither of them had discussed Stan, although her ex-husband still called her often—always for what appeared to be legitimate reasons.
Stan was smart. He wanted back in her life and he was a patient man. For the moment, he was letting things slide, doing nothing overt. Olivia knew her ex-husband, though. At some point, when he figured the time was right, Stan would swoop in.
“Will you be here for New Year’s Eve?” she asked, looking up at Jack. The thought of spending the night playing Scrabble with her mother held little appeal, although it’d been their tradition for almost a decade. If Jack could join them, it would turn an otherwise routine evening into something truly entertaining. Charlotte loved Jack as much as Olivia did.
“I’m sorry,” he said, “but I already made other plans.”
Her smile faded, and her heart thudded to an abrupt halt. “Not with another woman, I hope?”
He chuckled and appeared to be amused by her small display of jealousy. “It’s not what you think. I volunteered to be part of a retreat for Alcoholics Anonymous. I’m sorry. If I’d thought about it, I would’ve cleared it with you first.”
She had no right to make that kind of demand on him. “It’s not a problem. I…I’ll miss you.”
Jack kissed her one final time. “I’m going to miss you, too.”
Olivia walked him to his car and waved as he drove off. She wouldn’t see him again until after the first of the year. Sadness settled over her. And so did a measure of regret. The difficulties in their relationship had come about because she’d allowed herself to get caught up in Stan’s sudden need for her and the nostalgia she’d felt for their past. A past that couldn’t be retrieved…
Olivia shook off her somber mood, and Christmas was wonderful. With her mother’s help, Olivia’s turkey turned out golden-brown and succulent. Although he was still too young to appreciate Christmas, Leif was thoroughly spoiled by Olivia. Stan had dropped off his gifts earlier in the week.
They opened their presents after brunch, and it was an hour full of laughter and exclamations of pleasure. The contrast between Jack’s gifts to her and Stan’s seemed very telling to Olivia. Jack had bought her a small framed black-and-white photograph of the Cedar Cove lighthouse, one of Jon Bowman’s pictures. He’d also given her a new Cross pen, to replace the old one she’d used for years. Stan had bought her a diamond pendant, an “any woman” sort of gift. It seemed oddly impersonal, although Justine immediately made her put it on.
At three o’clock, the small party telephoned James and Selina in San Diego and eighteen-month-old Isabella chattered away. Unfortunately, little of what her granddaughter said was decipherable to Olivia. What did come across was that this was the first Christmas her granddaughter understood that she had two grandmas. Selina assured Olivia that Isabella loved her gifts: a talking doll with its own baby carriage.
“I wish you’d invited Dad,” Justine told Olivia privately in the kitchen while scraping the dinner dishes.
“I thought about it,” Olivia confessed. She had, but she was afraid it would encourage Stan, which was the last thing she wanted to do.
“I hate it that he spent the day alone.”
Olivia swallowed down a sense of guilt, but later she reminded herself that if Stan was alone on Christmas Day, it was the result of choices he’d made sixteen years ago. He was the one who’d walked out on their family, on her and their two surviving children. Despite her sympathy for him, and her residual affection, she couldn’t get too involved in comforting her ex-husband, even if he was in the throes of a second divorce. Knowing Stan, that would lead to willfully mistaken impressions; besides, she had other priorities now.
“Seth and I are hoping to spend New Year’s Eve at the restaurant,” Justine said casually, without looking at Olivia.
If that was a hint that her daughter needed someone to watch Leif, Olivia was more than ready to volunteer. Jack had plans, so the only person she worried about upsetting was her mother.
“Let me check with your grandmother, but if she doesn’t mind, I’ll stay with Leif.”
“Really, Mom?” Justine was obviously relieved. “I don’t feel right leaving him with a sitter yet.”
Olivia didn’t blame her. “I’ll be back in a minute.”
Her mother sat with her feet up in front of the fireplace, knitting what seemed to be a man’s sweater, although she hadn’t said who it was for. Possibly Seth, but that didn’t seem likely. If it was, Olivia assumed her mother would’ve finished it before Christmas.
Sitting down next to Charlotte, Olivia took in the scene around her. A fire flickered in the fireplace and the Christmas stockings that had hung on the mantel were down now, empty and spread across the coffee table. Seth held his sleeping son cradled in his arms; he, too, had dozed off. Christmas music played softly from the CD player and the lights on the tree sparkled. It was about as perfect a Christmas as she could remember.
“Mom,” Olivia said, “would you mind terribly if I didn’t join you this New Year’s Eve?”
“Oh, you have other plans?”
Olivia looked at her quizzically; her mother seemed pleased by the prospect of spending the evening alone. “Justine asked me to watch Leif so she and Seth could be at the restaurant.”
“By all means, Olivia, you stay with Leif. Don’t worry about me.”
“Would you like me to drive by and pick you up?” Olivia asked.
“Nonsense,” Charlotte returned. “I might have a date of my own, you know.”
Olivia smiled. Charlotte had men friends, but no beaus. Her friends had encouraged her to pursue a second relationship, but Charlotte had refused. Life was simpler that way, she’d always said.
Following her divorce, well-meaning friends had tried to set Olivia up with various men. Had circumstances been different, she might’ve been interested. But at the time, she was in no condition to get involved with anyone, and she knew it.
In addition, Justine and James had needed her. Her world and theirs had just collapsed, crushing them under the weight of their combined grief. For a long time afterward, the three of them had been emotionally crippled. They’d needed time to recover, and it hadn’t happened quickly or easily.
In their own ways, they’d each succeeded. James had joined the navy and married Selina. In the military he’d found security, and Selina had offered him the unconditional love he so desperately needed.
Justine had faltered for years, and had managed to convince herself that she wanted neither a husband nor children. Thankfully, Seth Gunderson had convinced her otherwise.
For her part, Olivia had found satisfaction and joy in her position on the bench. Meeting Jack had been an unexpected bonus. He’d brought laughter and spontaneity back into her life. With him, she could relax the rigidity that she’d so carefully incorporated into her daily routine.
Her throat thickened with sudden emotion. She owed Jack so much, and she’d nearly thrown it all away. She’d nearly destroyed the relationship that gave her so much pleasure.
It dawned on her then that she hadn’t heard from him all day.
Later that night, after her family had left, Jack did phone, but their conversation was brief. He was flying back the following weekend, and they arranged a dinner date at the Taco Shack, his favorite restaurant. Olivia had to admit she was growing accustomed to reading a menu on a wall.
After she talked to Jack, Olivia made a pot of tea and sat in front of the Christmas tree, reveling in a peaceful hour or so before bed. It had truly been a wonderful Christmas. The only improvement she could add to the day was Jack, and he’d already promised her they’d be together the following year.
The phone chimed in the distance, and for a moment she was tempted to let it ring. In retrospect, she wished she had.
“Merry Christmas,” she said before glancing at caller ID.
It was Stan. “Same to you, sweetheart.” He sounded cheerful.
She resisted the urge to correct him—to tell him she wasn’t his sweetheart and never would be again. “Hello, Stan. I imagine you want to talk to Justine and Seth, but they’ve left.”
“No,” he said, “I’m calling to talk to you.”
She didn’t comment.
“I wanted to ask you out for New Year’s Eve.” Before she could object, he added, “Think about the two of us having dinner at the Space Needle, with champagne and ballroom dancing, just like we used to.”
Clearly he had her confused with his second wife. When she was married to Stan, they could never have afforded such extravagance. “I’m sorry, but I already have plans.”
A momentary pause. Then he said, “Not with that newspaper fellow. Tell me you’re not serious.”
Olivia bit her tongue to keep from defending Jack. It wouldn’t do any good. “If you must know, I agreed to watch Leif for Justine and Seth.”
“You did?”
She almost confessed that Jack would be at a retreat with some of his AA friends, but quickly decided that was more information than her ex-husband needed to know.
“That’s great,” Stan said, sounding jovial now. “I’ll join you. We’ll put Leif down for the night, drink champagne and dance. It’ll be like old times, just the two of us.”
“I don’t think so.”
Stan chuckled. “You can’t keep me away from my only grandson, and it’ll be the perfect opportunity for us to talk. Give me a chance to prove myself, Olivia. I made a mistake and I’ve paid for it. It’s time to put the past behind us. I love you. I’ve always loved you.”
Olivia released a sigh. “I’m sorry, Stan, but you’re sixteen years too late.”
Christmas had been a miserable affair for Rosie. Allison was in a rotten mood most of the day because neither Rosie nor Zach could afford to buy her the computer she wanted. Eddie had been disappointed in his gifts, too, but he’d put on a brighter face than Allison. Rosie wondered when their children had become so terribly, terribly spoiled.