“Good girl Harper, keep breathing.” Thumbs brushed tears away from my cheeks, “Just keep breathing.”
I opened my eyes to see worried hazel eyes staring back at me.
“Better?”
I nodded and wrapped my arms around him, pressing my face to his blue shirt, “Thank you for coming Brandon.”
He rubbed soothing circles on my back until I unwrapped myself from him and latched back onto Bree. Ever since I'd been dragged out of Chase's bed this morning to attend the funeral, I felt like I constantly had to be touching someone, to make sure that this was all real. I desperately wanted to go back home, curl up in Chase's bed, breathe his scent in and numb my heart and mind again. This was all so much easier to deal with when I didn't feel anything.
Bree's next intake of breath was audible and her entire body tensed. “You have a lot of nerve showing up here.”
Trish was standing next to Mom, who after looking at her body covered in tattoos and pin up girl looks, put two and two together and stepped away. “I need to talk to you Harper.” She choked back a sob.
Brandon and Konrad moved so they were in between us, “I'm not sure that's the best idea, and this definitely isn't the place.” Konrad warned calmly.
She peered around Brandon, her eyes pleading, “I have to talk to you, you don't understand.” Trish burst into tears and took a step towards me, “You have to know.”
Pushing through the guys, I stepped up to her and waited for her to say whatever it was she felt was so important she would confront us here.
After a few moments of Trish trying to contain her tears, she finally began, “He didn't cheat on you, he loved you all he ever did was talk about you. I admit, I was jealous and I thought you had gotten pregnant on purpose, so he would have to be with you.” She looked nervously between Chase's family and myself, “That night at the party, I uh – I drugged him.” My face fell. What was she saying? “Those pictures weren't real. He was completely passed out.” She cried into her hand, her body now trembling, “I'm so sorry, you will never know how sorry I am.”
My palm connected with her face so hard, the sound bounced back to us from the walls of the church. “None of this would have happened if it weren't for you!” I screeched and brought my hand back again, but Brandon caught it and held both arms down at my sides, “He's dead because of you!” I began sobbing and crumbled in Brandon's chest.
“I think you should leave now.” Konrad growled at her from my side.
I shouldn't have slapped her, I shouldn't have yelled at her, but I couldn't stop myself. Because of this woman, the Grayson's lost a son and brother and my baby would never meet his father. Because of her actions, Chase's last conversation with me consisted of me telling him I didn't trust him, breaking up with him, and keeping myself from telling him I loved him. Because of Trish, my heart shattered, and Chase's stopped. I would never forgive this woman for taking him from us.
People came by the house for a couple hours after the funeral, continuing with their condolences, bringing meals and telling stories of Chase. Once everyone left, Dad, Mom, Konrad, Bree and I held each other, said I love yous over and over, and cried. Everyone split to take naps sometime later, Konrad with Bree, Dad with Mom, and me with my gummy bear. I was aware of the time passing, the room changing from light to dark, Mom bringing food and sitting there until I finished it all, and Bree coming in every few hours to lay next to me and cry. Other than necessities in the restroom, I didn't leave the bed for quite some time. I couldn't find a reason to, I just wanted to be surrounded by his things.
Brandon sat down on the bed, I don't know when it was, I just registered there was light coming through the windows.
“Hey sweetheart.” He whispered and let his fingertips trail along my back.
I tried to ask why he was there, but I hadn't used my voice in who knows how long, and it was so hoarse and low I was surprised anything came out at all.
“You need to get out of bed Harper. You're going to take a shower, we're going to get you out in the sun, and you're going to try to resume your life.”
Shaking my head, I roughly whispered, “I can't.”
“You need to. Chase wouldn't want this, and you need to take care of your baby.” I opened my mouth and I swear it's like he read my mind, “Eating and taking your vitamins isn't enough. The funeral was five days ago Harper, you need to get out of this house.”
“Why are you here? And why aren't you in Arizona?”
“Bree called me. They're all worried about you Harper. This family is hurting, but they're trying to cope and move on. You need to too.”
“I don't know how,” I sobbed, “this is all my fault.”
“No it's not, this isn't anyone's fault.” Brandon pulled me onto his lap and cradled me to his chest.
“I should have told him I loved him. I shouldn't have let him leave. I should have trusted him. He died thinking I hated him!” I soaked his shirt in my tears as I continued to tell him everything I wish I could have changed from that day.
Brandon sat there silently rocking me back and forth until my sobs quieted and my tears ran dry. A few minutes later he climbed off the bed, with me still in his arms and walked me to the bathroom. He set me on the counter and turned the shower on, testing the water after a few minutes. Bree must have been waiting for this because she walked in moments after the water had started running. Brandon pulled me off the counter and kept his hands around my shoulders until I was steady. When he was convinced, he kissed my temple and walked out, saying he'd be waiting downstairs.