Without a word of greeting, Chase pulled her into his arms and his mouth came down on hers. The familiar taste of him offered comfort and reassurance.
“I missed you,” he whispered into her hair, his arms wrapped around her waist.
“I missed you, too.”
“Pete brought the groceries? Did he get enough of everything?”
Lesley nodded. “Plenty.” She broke away from him. “I didn’t know your parents died so recently,” she said. She slipped her arm around him and led him into the kitchen. He had to be hungry so she opened a can of chili and began heating that for him. Keeping her hands occupied helped; she didn’t want him to guess how much Pete’s information had disturbed her.
Chase stood with his back against the counter. “My mom passed away less than two years ago. She died of a heart attack. It was sudden and so much of a shock that my father followed last year. They say people don’t die of broken hearts, but I swear that isn’t true. My dad was lost without Mom, and I believe he willed himself to die.”
“I’m sorry, Chase, I didn’t know.”
“I meant to tell you.”
“It was after their deaths that you decided to marry?”
“Yes,” he admitted, watching her closely. “Does that upset you?”
“No.” Her reasons for accepting his proposal hadn’t been exactly flawless. She’d been escaping her love for Tony, running because she feared she was too weak to withstand her attraction to him. Recently those reasons had blurred in her mind, thanks to her doubts and the unexpected happiness she’d found with Chase. They’d bonded much sooner than she’d anticipated. They belonged together now and if it was Tony’s craziness that had brought them to this point, that didn’t matter. What did was her life with Chase.
“How’s everything at the station?” she asked, placing the steaming bowl of chili on the table and taking out a box of soda crackers.
“Not good. We’re going to need a part.” He wiped his face with one hand, ignoring the lunch she’d prepared for him. “I hate doing this to you so soon, but it looks like I’ll have to go after the motor myself.”
“You’re leaving?” She felt as though she’d been punched by the unexpectedness of it. “How long will you be gone?”
“I don’t know yet. A day, possibly two.”
It wasn’t the end of the world, but she felt isolated and alone as it was. Without Chase she might as well be off floating on an iceberg.
“When do you have to go?” she asked.
“Soon. Listen, sweetheart, I don’t want this any more than you do, but it can’t be avoided.”
Sweetheart. He’d never used affectionate terms with her before. He was genuinely worried, as well he should be. He was going to have to introduce her to the people of Twin Creeks sooner or later, and she knew he’d prefer to do that personally, rather than have her discover the truth on her own while he was away. Of course, he had no idea Pete had already “spilled the beans,” as he’d put it.
“I’ll pack an overnight bag for you,” she offered, half waiting for him to stop her right then and explain.
“Lesley.”
She smiled to herself, relieved at the hesitation she heard in his voice. He was going to tell her.
He moved behind her, wrapped his arms around her waist and slipped his hand inside her light sweater. “We won’t be able to sleep together tonight.”
“Yes, I know.” Her voice sounded thick even to her own ears.
He caught her earlobe between his teeth. “One night can feel like a very long time,” he said in a whisper.
“It won’t be so bad.”
“It could be, though.”
“Oh.” Brilliant conversation was beyond her when he touched her this way.
His lips nibbled at her ear and hot sensation spread though her. “I was thinking you might want to give me something to send me off.”
“Like what?” Not that she didn’t know exactly what he meant, but she was annoyed with him because he was so casual about letting her learn the truth.
“I was in a foul mood all morning,” Chase continued, “hurrying because I wanted to get home.” He laughed. “Wanting to rush home was a new experience.”
“What was the big hurry?”
“Do you honestly need me to say?” He gave another throaty chuckle. “I can’t get enough of you. We make love and instead of glorying in the satisfaction, I immediately start wondering when I can have you again. Have you put a spell on me?”
“No.” If anything she was the one who’d been enchanted.
He groaned. “Pete will be here in five minutes.”
She nodded, turning her head away.
“You’re crying,” he said with a frown. He held her face gently, brushing the hair from her brow, using his thumbs to wipe away the moisture on her cheeks.
She gazed up at him, blinking hard, hardly able to see him through her tears. Closing her eyes, she shook her head. “Go, or you’ll be late.”
“I’m not leaving until you tell me what’s wrong.”
“Pete’s coming.” She pushed him away.
“He’ll wait. Lesley, tell me what’s wrong.” He reached for an overnight bag, stuffing it with the essentials he’d need as he waited for her response.
She didn’t, couldn’t, respond.
“You’re upset because I have to leave you so soon,” he said, “but, sweetheart, I told you. It can’t be helped.”
She was so furious by this time that she clenched her fists at her sides. “Pete told me his wife didn’t last the winter. My sympathy was with Pete because of the weak woman he married. I was making all sorts of judgmental statements in my head, automatically blaming her. I blamed her, without the benefit of the doubt. I considered her weak and—”
“What does Pete’s marriage have to do with us?” Chase took her by the arms, studying her intensely. A horn honked outside and he cast an irritated look over his shoulder.
“Go,” she said again, freeing herself from his hold. “Just go.”
“I can’t, Lesley, not with you feeling like this.”
She swiped impatiently at her tears. “It might’ve helped if you’d let me know Twin Creeks is nothing more than…than a hole in the road. There are only five women here. Three of them are years older than I am, the fourth is a twelve-year-old girl and the other one is…me.”
The honking went on longer and more urgently this time.
“Go on,” she said, squaring her shoulders. “Pete’s waiting.”
Chase wavered, took one step toward the door, but then returned to her. “Will you be here when I get back?”
She had to think about that for a moment, then nodded.
He briefly closed his eyes. “Thank you for that.” He left without kissing her. Without touching her. And without saying goodbye.
Lesley ended up throwing out the chili she’d prepared for Chase. She’d never been fond of it herself, although Chase certainly seemed to be if his cupboard was any indication. There was an entire shelf filled with nothing but cans of chili.
She moved from one room to the next, feeling sorry for herself. She’d let the opportunity to really talk about their situation slip through her fingers.
Her cheeks burned at the memory. They’d kissed—and then fought. But their physical longing for each other hadn’t diminished.
Their relationship hadn’t started out that way. This was a new development. One that had taken them both by storm.
Lesley delighted in how frequently Chase wanted her. Her joy was made complete by the ready response he evoked in her. But their mutual passion meant she not only needed him, she’d become dependent on him. This was the very thing she’d come to fear with Tony—this total giving of herself. Yet it was what she’d done with Chase. He ruled her head and her heart, as thoroughly as Tony once had. No, even more so.
Was this love? She didn’t know. All she knew was that she couldn’t be without her husband, but didn’t want to lose herself in him.
Tucking her arms around her waist, she wondered how she’d ever manage to fill up the time without Chase.
Chase impatiently filled out the registration forms at the Fairbanks hotel. The sooner he finished, the sooner he could call Lesley.
He wanted to kick himself. He’d known from the moment he arrived home that something was bothering her. He’d seen it in her eyes and in the way she preoccupied herself with making him lunch. He should have settled things between them right then.
Once he had the key to his room, he glanced longingly at the coffee shop. He hadn’t eaten since breakfast and that had been a quick cup of coffee and a blueberry muffin.
He’d eat later, he decided, after he’d spoken to Lesley, after he’d explained, if that was possible. He couldn’t stand it if she left. She already meant too much to him.
He let himself into the stark hotel room and after dumping his overnight bag on the bed, sat on the edge of it and reached for the room phone. His hand was eager as he punched out the number.
She answered on the second ring.
“Lesley, hello.” Now that he could talk to her, he didn’t know what to say. The need to explain had burned in him the entire flight into Fairbanks, and now he was speechless.
“Chase?”
“I just got here.”
“How are you? Did you have a good flight?”
“I suppose so. How are you?” He needed to know that before he proceeded.
“Fine.”
The way she said it told him she wasn’t. “I realize it’s probably not a good idea to have this conversation over the phone.”
“We’ll talk later,” she said, but Chase was afraid that might be too late.
“I didn’t want this misunderstanding to ruin what we have.”
“And what do we have, Chase?” she asked, her voice a mere whisper.
“A marriage,” he returned without hesitation. “A fledgling marriage, which means we need to learn to communicate with each other. I’m going to need help.”
“We’ll learn,” she said, and there was a new strength in the words that reassured him.
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you more about Twin Creeks. There always seemed to be other things to discuss and…it didn’t seem all that important.”
Lesley had no comment.
Chase pressed his hand to his forehead. “That isn’t true,” he said in a voice so low, he wondered if she could hear him. “I was afraid that if you did know you’d change your mind about marrying me.” He was taking one of the biggest risks of his life admitting it, but that was what made honesty of such high value. It was often expensive. But Lesley deserved nothing less.
“There’ll never be a teaching position for me here, will there?”
“No.” Once more the truth stabbed at him.
“What did you expect me to do with my time?”
“Whatever you want. You can take correspondence courses, teach them if you’d like. Sometime you might want to start a business. The internet’s created a lot of possibilities. Whatever you choose will have my full emotional and monetary support. More than anything else, I want you to be happy.”