“What Mason and I did was for the betterment of the city, and while we had to do bad things, we were doing it with the knowledge that those men were all about to go away for a very long time and wouldn’t be able to hurt anyone else again. With Trent, he didn’t have the satisfaction in the end that he was still helping people, until he met you. So I guess to answer your question, no, I don’t hate him. I can’t hate him because I understand him too well. There are some things that I wish hadn’t happened, but they did, and we’re moving on from them.”
I let my fingers run over the muscles of his chest and shoulders before making their way up to hold his face in my hands. I couldn’t figure out if I wanted to smile or cry because I was so in love with this man, and so thankful for him. Instead I just continued to stare at him and finally whispered, “There are times when you know exactly what to say, and your words leave me speechless.”
“I’ve been known to make good speeches on Wednesdays.”
I huffed and grabbed a chunk of his hair before pulling on it. “Way to kill the mood, and it’s Thursday, you ass.”
His face remained serious as he said, “I’ve been known to make good speeches on Thursdays.”
Rolling my eyes, I started to push off the couch, but his arms caged in around my back and brought me back onto his chest.
“There are still times when I stop dead in my tracks when I see you, and wonder how you’re mine. You’re beautiful; and your fire for life, and strength after everything you’ve been through, amazes me. So if anyone leaves the other speechless, it’s you.”
My heart pounded in my chest and a smile broke across my face. I couldn’t have contained it even if I wanted to. “I love you, Logan Kash Ryan, and I’m so thankful for you.”
“Ditto, Sour Patch.”
I closed my eyes, shook my head, and laughed softly at his breathy words. Funny how I still hated that nickname, but my heart fluttered every time he said it. I hadn’t forgotten the longing to hear him say it again while I was with Trent, because I knew hearing him say it meant seeing him again. And I knew that no matter how ridiculous it was, I would never complain about it again.
“Rachel, open your eyes.”
As soon as my eyes fell on his, he sat up and pressed his lips to mine for the first time since my second morning back home. A high-pitched moan rose up the back of my throat before I relaxed into his body and returned the long-awaited kiss that he’d saved for the perfect moment.
His lips moved slowly against mine, and soon his tongue was parting my mouth and teasing my own. A collective sigh filled the silent space between us, and his full lips tilted up in a smile before he captured my mouth again. I moved my legs so I was straddling his hips, and dug my knees into the couch as I deepened the kiss. My hands wove their way through his messy hair to hold his face to mine, and his hands on my back trailed down my body until they landed on my hips to press our bodies closer together.
Kash placed openmouthed kisses down my jaw and throat, and I let my head fall back as I rocked against him. Goose bumps covered my skin and the softest of moans sounded in my chest at the friction I’d been craving. I rocked over where he was straining against his jeans, and my eyes rolled back when he gently bit down on my throat.
“Kash . . .”
He released my hips and grabbed my cheeks to bring my lips down to his again, and I sat up and reached in between us, grabbing at the buckle on his belt. I’d just gotten it undone, and was grabbing for the button when his hands wrapped around my wrists and moved them above our heads.
“Why—”
“Just this for now.” He let go of my hands and pushed me back an inch so he could look in my eyes. “Trust me, I want every part of you. But with what we’ve had to overcome the last few weeks, I’m not going to rush that. Just like we didn’t rush anything else.”
Some small part of me could understand what he was saying, but I was wearing the thinnest cotton shorts known to man, and with each ragged breath in, I was slowly losing the last bit of control I had.
“Rachel, I’m saying the words . . . but if you don’t get off me soon, I’m not going to be following through with them.”
I looked directly into his eyes and ground my body against his, and the sexiest growl I’ve ever heard from him left his lips. “Then don’t follow through.”
“Sonofabitch,” he whispered through gritted teeth and his fingers flexed against the skin between my shirt and shorts. “Rach, no. I— Shit.” He sat us up and gently pushed me back so I was no longer on his lap. “Rachel, you still shut yourself in the closet when you change; and when I start to do the same, you leave the room. I don’t want you to force yourself to change that now, but I know you’re not ready yet, and that’s okay.”
Sitting back, I pulled my knees up to my chest and stopped immediately after my head began shaking. Oh God, I do shut the door. “I just, I never had privacy . . .”
“Rachel, I get it. It’s fine, but just trust me to know when you’re ready again, okay?”
Looking back into his stormy gray eyes, I gave him a small smile and nodded. “All right.”
He kissed me hard and rested his forehead against mine. “But now I need to go take a really cold shower. So I’ll be back . . . in a while.”
I laughed and snuck in another kiss before pushing him away. “Go, I’ll make pancakes.”