“I’m so sorry,” he said softly before pressing his lips to the sensitive spot behind my ear. “Please don’t be mad. I couldn’t handle it if you were.”
I kept my eyes trained on my hands gripping the countertop and nodded, not trusting my voice anymore.
“One day . . . one day we won’t have to do this anymore. I’ll come home to you, and get in our bed, and never leave. I swear.”
My vision went blurry, and I closed my eyes tightly against the tears.
How was it possible that I was already falling so hard for this man that the thought of him anywhere but beside me had me feeling like I was drowning and unable to pull in the air my body needed to live? I was quickly becoming addicted to him and the way he made me feel with the smallest of touches. We were dangerous together, but I knew I couldn’t live without him.
“Forgive me,” he pleaded, and suddenly his body and warmth were gone. As much as my mind and body screamed at me to follow him, to beg him not to leave, I was rooted in place for long minutes until I heard the door shut and his car start up in the garage.
Taking shaky steps back until I hit a wall, I slid down until I was seated on the cool floor, and the tears I’d been holding back fell mercilessly as desperate sobs racked my chest.
Brody
May 20, 2015
THE SECOND OLIVIA’S car pulled out of our driveway, I was rushing to pull on clothes and running out the door. I needed to go to Kamryn. I needed to try to fix what I’d probably destroyed the night before.
Waking up to Kamryn telling me Olivia was calling me—being pulled out of my perfect moment with Kamryn to have the truth of our situation thrown in my face—had been agony. There was no other word for it. We’d decided when we began that we would go slow, and Kamryn knew there would be days at a time when I wouldn’t be able to see her or even talk to her. But that had changed last night.
It had killed me to see the look on her face as I talked with Liv, and everything in me had been yelling at me to stay with Kamryn, to take care of her. Then Liv brought up Tate, and I remembered why Kamryn and I had agreed to keep this quiet: I needed to make sure Olivia was going to be okay first. So I’d given in.
Olivia was asleep in her own bed by the time I got home, though, and had woken me before the sun rose this morning to the sounds of her screaming and throwing dishes across the kitchen. I’d wrapped my arms around her to stop her from grabbing for more. She responded by screaming at me not to touch her because I was a baby killer.
Olivia needed help, and I needed Kamryn.
I pulled into Kamryn’s driveway, frowning when I found her garage door open from the night before and the door leading to her house still unlocked. Shutting the garage door, I let myself in and jogged through her house, calling her name.
The sound of bare feet on hardwood met me before I saw her quickly turn the corner in the hall.
“Brody, what are you doing here? How did you get—”
Closing the distance between us, I pulled her into my arms and kissed her firmly before burying my face at the base of her neck. “I’m sorry. God you have no idea how sorry I am,” I whispered and ran my nose up her smooth skin. “Please forgive me. I know I f**ked up, I just . . . I don’t know the right way to do this. I know what I want and need, and I know what I have to do. And I’m so f**king torn between getting her the help she needs and staying with you that I feel like there is no right way to go about it.”
Kamryn’s body was shaking, and it felt like someone had punched me in the gut when I tilted her head back and saw her wet cheeks.
“I can’t do this to you. I can’t ask you to do this.”
“What?” she asked breathlessly, her expression dropping.
“It’s not fair to you.”
Her blue eyes widened and searched my face before more tears fell. “What are you saying?”
“I won’t make you do this. You shouldn’t have to be in a relationship where it’s kept a secret, and—”
“Brody, stop!” Her hands came to rest on my arms, and she looked around like she couldn’t figure out the right words to say. “Last night was hard. God, it was so hard. I want to promise you that if that happens again I’ll deal with it better, but I can’t, because there’s no easy way to deal with something like that. We put ourselves in this position, though, and if that’s what we have to go through to be together in the end, then I’ll do it. But you can’t ask me to just give up on us because it’s not ‘fair to me.’ This situation isn’t fair to anyone, but we knew that going into this.” Kamryn’s eyes searched mine, and she squeezed my forearms. “Right?”
“Right,” I said softly, my lips tilting up in a smile as I looked at this amazing woman. I didn’t know what I’d done to deserve her.
“If what you said last night was the truth, if you can promise me that one day we’ll be together, then I’ll go through hell for you.”
Leaning in, I pressed my mouth to hers and spoke against her lips. “I promise. One day we’re going to have our forever. Nothing will stop us.”
The kiss started off slow, but built quickly when she pulled me closer, her full br**sts pressing against my chest. My hands slid from her neck to the top of her jeans, and I pushed her back against the wall as I unbuttoned them and slid the zipper down.
“Brody,” she whimpered when my fingers trailed against her heat.