How ashamed would her family be? The Colters were all about doing the right thing. Standing up against injustice. They’d offered her unconditional support, but what had she offered them except lies and deception? What had she offered the women left to Joel’s abuse and mistreatment?
How could she ever look them in the eye again?
She looked down again at the disk in her hand and she closed her fingers, gripping the plastic card until it cut into her palm.
It was time to get her damn head out of the sand. Joel wasn’t going away. He wasn’t going to stop what he was doing until someone stood up and took him down.
No matter how terrified she was or how ashamed, it was time for her to be willing to bring him to justice. Even if it meant risking her own life to do it.
How could she move on with Liam and Noah, or immerse herself in the Colter family and surround herself with their support and her brother’s support if she knew it was at the expense of so many other women?
There was no future for her until she laid her past to rest. And there was no way to put her past behind her until she faced her demons and had the courage to do what it was she needed to do. What she had to do.
Chapter 18
LIAM stared at Lauren’s closed door, worry gnawing a hole in his gut. He glanced at Noah to see his friend’s expression wasn’t any better.
“What the fuck was that?” Liam asked in a low voice.
Noah blew out his breath. “She’s holding back something. She hasn’t told us everything.”
“Goddamn.” He took a steadying breath. “She doesn’t trust us yet.”
Noah shot him a disgruntled look. “Do you expect her to this quickly? It may not be so much an issue of her trusting as it may be something big. Something that terrifies her. Look at it from her perspective. We barge back into her life, bust her for lying to us, and ‘oh by the way, we want a relationship with you.’ It’s a lot to take in such a short period of time.”
“Yeah, I get it,” Liam muttered. “What the fuck do we do now?”
Before Noah could respond, the bedroom door opened and Lauren stepped out, her face drawn and blotchy. There was a look in her eyes that Liam didn’t like. He couldn’t even put his finger on what it was exactly, but the woman who’d bolted into her bedroom was not the woman walking out right now. And that scared the shit out of him.
“Lauren?” he began hesitantly. Hell, he was at a loss for words. Not an affliction he usually suffered.
Her gaze skittered to him, and he was taken aback by the pain in her eyes. Worse than the pain was the fear that reflected in those soft brown eyes.
She was scared to death.
“I have to go back to New York,” she said, in a flat, emotionless voice.
Noah’s complete what the fuck? look mirrored Liam’s own reaction.
“Whoa, wait a minute here,” Liam said. “We need to talk, baby. Tell us what’s going on.”
She took a deep breath, squared her shoulders and then glanced to Noah, then back at Liam again.
“I have to go back. Immediately.”
Noah finally found his tongue.
“Tell us why,” he said bluntly.
Her lips trembled, and it was evident that she was clinging to her composure by the barest thread. One hand was fisted into a tight ball at her side and the other was shaking, her fingers quivering even when she tried to press it to her leg.
“I have to go to the police,” she said quietly. “I know he has cops on his payroll, but I have to try. I can no longer stand here and do nothing. Someone has to stop him.”
Liam could stand it no longer. He crossed the room and gently grasped Lauren’s shoulders. “Come sit down. Please? We’ll talk it out. You tell us why you need to go to the police and we’ll figure it out together, okay?”
For a moment he thought she’d argue, but then she sighed and let him walk her to the couch. Noah still stood by the coffee table, his brows drawn together in confusion—and worry—as Liam seated Lauren and then sat next to her.
“What the hell is going on, Lauren?” Noah asked.
Her balled fist was now in her lap, and slowly, she opened it until Liam could see a computer memory disk in her hand.
“I took this from him,” she said in a near whisper. “Or rather, I copied information from his laptop before I left.”
Oh shit. Liam glanced up at Noah to see the same grim fear in his friend’s eyes. This didn’t sound good. Not good at all.
Noah shoved the coffee table out of the way and knelt in front of Lauren. He didn’t try to take the disk from her hand, but he took her other one and rubbed it between his palms.
“What kind of information?” Noah asked.
“Contacts. Records. Business and financial records. Entries detailing his client lists. When and where they met with what girls. Remember the whole hoopla over the high-profile madam case several years ago? This is basically the same thing, only it proves Joel for the pimp he is. And he has some big-name clients. Politicians. Doctors. Lawyers. Famous people. He runs a very big business peddling . . . women.”
She nearly choked on the last word and it ended in a quiet sob.
“Women like the one he killed for talking to you about me.”
“Now, baby, we can’t prove that,” Liam began.
She shook her head. “You and I both know that’s exactly why she died. It’s not a coincidence that the day after she talks to you she gets beat to death. You know it and I know it. Let’s not try to make it what it isn’t. The simple fact is, if I’d gone to the police with this information instead of running like a scared rabbit, that woman would be alive.”
Liam swallowed hard. This was going south fast, and he had no idea how to get things back on track.
“Why didn’t you tell us about this before?” Noah asked. “I get why you didn’t when we were in New York. But why didn’t you tell us when we got here? When we found out the truth about Joel?”
She raised her head, her gaze so dull and filled with self-condemnation that it made Liam hurt.
“Because I was afraid that you’d want to do the right thing, and I was too self-absorbed and afraid to do it myself. I had this hope that I could just move on with my life, pretend Joel never existed and continue to live in denial. If I didn’t think about what he did or the other women he’s hurt, then it wasn’t real.”
“Then why did you take the time and the risk to copy this information if you never intended to do anything with it?” Liam asked. “If he found out—hell, if he knows you took something from him like that—you have to know he’ll come after you.”
“Because I wasn’t thinking!” she burst out. “I was in complete panic. I wanted to get as far away from him as possible but at the same time I wanted an insurance policy. It sounds so stupid now, but at the time I was only thinking that if he tried to come after me, if he tried to find me, I could pull out my trump card and blackmail him into getting out of my life forever.”
Noah sighed. “It doesn’t work that way, sweetheart. Men like Joel don’t just go away when they know someone has incriminating evidence. If what you say is on that disk, it could topple his entire network and put him behind bars for a very long time. Not to mention the people implicated in his prostitution ring. I don’t think you realize how far reaching the ramifications are for this. If he killed a woman for talking to someone, what do you think he’d do to someone who threatened everything he’s worked to build?”
She went completely pale. Liam couldn’t even reprimand Noah for being so blunt, because it was what Lauren needed to hear. He hated to see the fear in her eyes, but he needed her to be afraid and to be aware of just what she’d stepped in.
“I can’t pretend anymore,” she said hoarsely. “I can’t pretend I never had this information. If I had done the right thing, that woman would still be alive. Who knows who else might still be alive. Who’s to say he hasn’t killed other women? Or that he hasn’t done to other women what he did to me?”
She turned to include Liam in her passionate speech.
“I can’t look at myself in the mirror any longer knowing the mistakes I’ve made and the chances I’ve had to rectify them. I don’t like that person. I don’t like who I’ve become. I’m someone who has lied to her family and to the men hired to protect her. I’m someone who has information that could bring down a man who deserves to be behind bars, but was too cowardly to hand it over to the police. I’m someone I don’t even recognize anymore,” she said painfully. “And if I don’t like myself, how can I expect either of you to ever love me?”
Liam reached for her, pulling her into his arms. “You made mistakes, baby. You were desperate, scared and alone.”
She pulled away, her expression fierce. “But I’m not alone anymore. I have family who loves me. I have you and Noah, if you can still stand to be around me. It’s time that I do something besides hide and act like a helpless victim.”
Noah’s expression grew fierce. “That’s bullshit. You damn well do have us and you’re stuck there. We aren’t going anywhere, and we sure as hell aren’t angry with you for doing what you thought was necessary to ensure your safety and well-being.”
“Then you’ll help me?”
Her eyes were hopeful as she looked pleadingly at them.
“Help you do what, baby?” Liam asked softly.
“Go with me to New York to turn the disk over to the police.”
Liam and Noah both went silent. Liam’s mind was buzzing like a chainsaw. This was huge. Not to mention dangerous. Lauren’s life wouldn’t be worth a shit the minute it got out that she’d turned evidence on Joel Knight.
“It’s not quite that simple,” Noah began.
She frowned. “Why not? If I give them the disk, there’ll be no question as to what Joel’s involved in. They’ll arrest him and bring him to trial.”
“You have to remember that he has people on his payroll,” Liam said carefully. “We can’t just waltz into the precinct and announce we have evidence implicating Joel Knight and various other people of distinction.”
“Then what can we do?” she asked in frustration. “I can’t turn my back again. He has to be stopped.”
“The first thing we need to do is have a look at what’s on the disk,” Liam said. “We need to make a list of all the people mentioned. Figure out what we’re dealing with. You have to understand that anyone listed as a client would go a long way to make sure that information never comes to light. Once we see what’s there, then we have to decide who we think we can trust. There is no way in hell I’m allowing you to trot off to New York and put your welfare into the hands of just anyone.”
“But you’ll help me?” she asked hopefully.
Noah touched her face. “You don’t seriously think we’re going to let you do this alone, do you?”
She didn’t answer, and Noah let out a curse.
Liam took her hand and squeezed. “What he’s trying to say is that you belong to us, Lauren. And we’re not going to do anything that puts you in danger. We’ll take a look at the disk and then we’ll go from there. We’ll find a way to do this with the least amount of risk to you.”
A tear rolled down her cheek followed by another and then another. She hastily wiped them away only for more to come. It was as if the last secret she’d so desperately guarded had finally broken free, and a huge weight had been lifted.
“Do you have a computer?” Noah asked.
She shook her head.
“What about Seth? They live the closest to town, right?”
She nodded, still wiping at the tears rolling down her cheeks.
“Can you call him and ask if we can come over to use his computer?” Liam asked.
“Yeah,” she said in a quivery voice. “I’m sure he wouldn’t mind.”
“Seth needs to know anyway,” Noah said grimly. “He’ll be able to offer some ideas from a law enforcement perspective.”
Lauren lowered her head, closing her eyes.
“They’re your family, baby,” Liam said. “You’ve always told us how wonderful the Colters are. They’re not going to judge you. They’re just going to want you safe.”
“I let them down,” she said quietly. “I let myself down.”
Noah reached for her hand, squeezing it as Liam had done. “Then it’s time to make it up to yourself.”
Chapter 19
THE drive to the house Seth shared with his two brothers and Lily was silent except for Lauren giving them directions where to turn off once they got out of town.
Dusk had already descended when they pulled in next to the parked vehicles in front of the house. The porch lights were on, and Seth appeared in the doorway as they got out of the vehicle.