Chapter 42
LAUREN laid her head back against the seat and closed her eyes as the plane lifted into the air. On either side of her were Liam and Noah, both touching her in some way whether it was a leg against hers or a hand on her arm. It was a silent reminder that they were there. Just as they’d been every minute since they’d burst into the lake house where Joel had died.
The last day had been a blur. Constant flow of people in and out of her hospital room. Noah and Liam had been determined that they were taking her back to Colorado at the very first opportunity, despite requests for them to remain in the area for further questioning.
She’d been questioned at length by the investigator assigned to the case as well as the district attorney whom Noah had turned the disk over to. In truth, she’d paused briefly, considering whether she should give the information now that Joel was dead. It shamed her that she feared reprisal from other quarters once the investigation was launched.
But Castanetti had guaranteed her anonymity and that she wouldn’t even have to testify since all she’d done was collect information from Joel’s computer. They’d have to launch their own investigation based on the information she’d provided. She’d given the disk to the D.A. and had immediately felt a weight lifted from her shoulders.
It was something she should have done from the start. It was hard to come to terms with the fact that, had she not done so much wrong, she wouldn’t have been abducted and subjected to Joel’s abuse, and Liam wouldn’t have been shot rescuing her.
She shivered and her stomach coiled into a knot. Just being on a plane brought back the memory of what Joel had done to her. What he’d forced her to do. Tears burned her eyelids and she bit into her lip to maintain control.
“Are you all right, baby?”
Liam’s concerned voice reached her from what seemed a huge distance. She tried to respond, but she couldn’t even suck in a breath.
Panic clawed at her throat, squeezing and knotting. Her chest burned. She was paralyzed with fear.
There were muffled curses, the sound of seat belts clicking as they were thrown off. Then she was lifted from her seat and carried toward the back where the lounging area was.
A cold cloth was pressed to her face and strong arms surrounded her.
“Breathe, honey,” Noah said gently. “Take a breath for me. Can you do that? Look at me. Like this.”
He inhaled deep and slow through his nose and then let it out through his lips. His gaze bore into hers, willing her to follow his lead.
She reacted sluggishly, the effort taking every bit of strength she had. Noah framed her face with his hands, forcing her to look only at him and the way he breathed. Liam’s hand smoothed up and down her back, offering comfort, and gradually her chest loosened and the choking sensation was gone.
Tears streamed down her face, bathing Noah’s hands. She tried to lower her head, to shrink away from his and Liam’s scrutiny, but Noah held firm and then pulled her into his warm embrace.
“I’ve got you now,” Noah murmured as he rocked back and forth, his arm securely around her.
She clutched at his shoulders as she buried her face in his neck. He kissed her hair, her forehead, stroked his fingers through the strands and rubbed up and down her back. His voice was pitched low in a soothing, nonsensical rhythm almost as if he were calming a child.
Eventually the sobs faded and she lay limply against him, exhausted by the panic attack and emotional breakdown.
“Tell me he’s dead,” she whispered. “Tell me again.”
Noah kissed her forehead and Liam reached for her hands, enfolding them in his much larger ones.
“He’s dead, baby,” Liam said. “He can’t hurt you again. You’re free now.”
Tears clouded her eyes and she felt the warm trickle down her face but was too exhausted to call them back.
“He forced me . . . on the plane . . .”
She could hear her voice rise with hysteria, could feel the panic returning even as Noah’s hold on her tightened.
“Oh God,” she choked out. “He pushed me to my knees and he forced himself into my m-mouth.”
Even as she spoke, she wiped at her lips with the back of her hand, over and over as if she could remove the memory.
“He used me,” she sobbed. “I’m dirty. I feel so dirty. How could you possibly want to be with me knowing the things he made me do?”
Liam went to his knee in front of Noah so that she was trapped between them, touching them both. His expression was so fierce that her eyes widened. He tipped her chin with his fingertip and then slid his fingers down her jaw to make sure she was looking at him.
“I won’t say it doesn’t matter what he did to you,” Liam bit out. “It would be bullshit and I’m not going to say shit I don’t mean to try to make you feel better. Of course it matters. He hurt you. He violated you. He took your choices away from you and he forced himself on you. But if you think what he did changes one goddamn thing about the way we look at you or feel about you, then you’re wrong.”
She stared back into his eyes, seeing the burning sincerity in his gaze. Noah rumbled his agreement, his body so tense against her it was like resting against brick.
“But it changes the way I feel,” she said, her voice cracking.
Liam’s expression went soft, his eyes full of love and understanding.
“Give yourself some time, baby,” he said gently. “We’ll get through this together. One day at a time. Noah and I will be with you every step of the way.”
“I love you,” she said, injecting as much conviction into her voice as she could.
Liam’s eyes went even softer and he stroked her face with his hand. “I love you too, baby. So much.”
She turned so she could slide her hand up over Noah’s shoulder, and she hugged him to her. Her face was buried in his neck, his scent surrounding her, filling her. She breathed deep, content here in his arms.
The panic that had so firmly gripped her just moments earlier had receded, and calm had wrapped her in its soothing embrace.
“I love you,” she said against Noah’s neck.
He put his hand to the back of her head and stroked through her hair. “Oh honey, I love you so damn much I ache with it. We’re going to get through this together. You, me and Liam. No hurry. We have all the time in the world.”
The words slid sweetly over her ears and loosened the tension in her chest.
“We do, don’t we?” she said in wonder.
Noah pulled her away from his chest, his smile tender and warm. “We have nothing but time.”
She reached for Liam, wanting that contact with him. Noah slid his hand possessively up her back as she curled into Liam, laying her head on his shoulder.
“I love you both so much and I was so afraid to let myself. But fighting it didn’t feel right. I was afraid to trust myself again after I made so many terrible mistakes, but this time I’m right. I know it.”
“In time you won’t question yourself or your decision,” Liam said in a solemn voice. “I plan to convince you on all points that you’ve absolutely made the right decision this time.”
She kissed him, wanting the deeper intimacy, wanting to show him that she had no doubts. That she loved him. That she wanted a life with him and Noah no matter how difficult the road.
She slowly retreated from the warmth of his mouth and his touch to turn her face up to Noah. His lips came down in a heated rush to meet hers, and she sighed in contentment.
Noah pulled back, his hand going to her face in a gentle caress. “We’re taking you home . . . to stay.”
Hope soared through her chest, lighting up every part of her soul that was still steeped in darkness. But then just as quickly, reality crept in, her euphoria deteriorating.
“Baby, don’t look like that,” Liam said, his voice filled with tenderness.
“What will you and Noah do in Clyde?” she asked. “It’s not fair for you both to have to rearrange your entire lives . . . for me.”
Noah smiled and leaned his forehead in until it touched hers. “That’s what you do for the person you love. And it’ll be worth every single change if it means that you’ll be happy, feel safe, and that we’ll be with you every single day for the rest of our lives.”
Her eyes widened and Liam scowled. It was a gruff look of annoyance that made him look . . . adorable.
“Did you honestly think we weren’t in this for the long haul?” Liam demanded. “You’re it for us, Lauren, and I hope to hell we’re it for you because if not, you’re going to have two surly-ass, love-sick men following you around like damn puppies.”
She laughed softly, joy filling her heart.
“We want forever,” Noah said. “To be honest, I wanted our proposal to be romantic and in the perfect setting, but fuck it. I just want your promise. Marry us, Lauren. We’ll figure it out. The Colters can give us advice. They’ve made it work for over thirty years.”
“We’ll make it work too,” Liam said, his voice full of conviction.
There was no doubt in their expressions or their eyes. No hesitancy. They were offering her all she could ever hope for.
Love.
Forever.
Happily ever after.
All the things she thought she’d never have because she’d made all the wrong choices.
Laughter bubbled up through the tears burning her eyelids.
“What’s so funny?” Noah asked, his brows drawn together.
“I was just thinking about all the bad decisions I made, but then it occurred to me that if I hadn’t made those exact choices, I would have never found the two of you. I guess in a way I have to be grateful for Joel because he was what led me to you.”
“Fuck him,” Liam growled. “I like to think we would have found you anyway, and I’m damn sure not going to thank him for anything.”
“Do you have an answer for us?” Noah gently prompted.
It was then that she could see their nervousness. They were worried over her answer. Her heart melted and her chest ached from the overwhelming surge of love.
“Oh yes,” she breathed. “I’ll be with you, marry you, try my best to make you happy for the rest of our lives.”
Triumph flashed hot and vibrant in Liam’s eyes. Relief was stark in Noah’s gaze. They converged on her, surrounding her as they enfolded her in their embrace.
Their lips were on hers, taking turns at her mouth, sliding down her cheek. Kisses pressed to her forehead, her temple. Whispers of love in her ear.
She closed her eyes, savoring every moment. Forgotten was the past, and even the present to an extent. Before her lay the promise of tomorrow, precious and beautiful. Noah and Liam were her future and she was theirs.
As the plane descended over the Colorado mountains, she was gripped by the rightness of being back . . . home. In a place where she’d first learned the importance of family and unconditional support.
She was returning. Much stronger this time. Ready to reach forward instead of looking back.
The Colters were her family, and she very much belonged to them, but now she belonged to Noah and Liam as well. They belonged to her. All that she could ever want was right here in her hands and in her heart.