Did he want Maren with him? Absolutely. Did he want their child with them both? No question there. But how to arrange that, work out a relationship with Maren and juggle both their careers? He didn’t have a clue.
It took everything he had not to pull a caveman routine, lay down the law and tell her how things were going to be. He’d be a lying son of a bitch if he denied wanting to do just that. It gave him an extreme measure of satisfaction to think of simply telling Maren that she’d stay with him, and they’d raise their child together. Hell, maybe they should even get married. He liked the idea of her and their child having his name. But that was a huge step when they barely knew each other aside from the times she’d provided medical care to his team and a few nights of really great sex. All the time he’d spent mentally lusting over her didn’t count as quality relationship building.
Most women needed a little more in the romance department than that before they agreed to commit to a guy. The time they’d spent when he’d gone back had been the best couple of days he’d had in longer than he could remember. And they hadn’t done much at all. Just talked, he’d helped her out at the clinic, and they’d cooked, talked some more and made love.
He wanted more days just like that. Getting to know each other. Savoring time together when they didn’t have a million other things going on and they weren’t being pulled in separate directions.
Maybe this would be his opportunity for just that. Maren was here, in his house. He damn sure wasn’t pulling any missions for a while. It would be just the two of them here. They could get to know one another better, talk through their options, make decisions about their future and their baby’s future together.
Steele ran a hand through his hair and blew out a weary breath. Damn, but the last few months were catching up to him fast. The stress of not knowing where Maren was or if she was okay, the constant on-the-go with his team and then the eventual retrieval and now the news that he was going to be a father.
He was conditioned to go long periods on nothing more than nerves and adrenaline, but he felt like he’d just hit the wall head-on. He needed rest and time to ponder the best strategy going forward. The idea of Maren leaving, of going off on her own, made his stomach knot. He didn’t want that. He wanted her here, and not just so he could protect her. That was a big part of it, yeah. But it wasn’t the only reason, and he was afraid to closely explore all the whys and wherefores of that particular revelation.
No doubt she was under his skin, but she was also quickly making her way into his heart. A heart that many would argue didn’t exist. The others might joke and say he was made of ice, but just a few minutes in Maren’s company and the ice melted faster than a snow cone in the middle of August.
And when he imagined a sweet little baby with blond hair and blue eyes, a tiny replica of Maren, there was no doubt his heart was fast becoming involved. He’d been dubious about the Kelly children. Sam and Sophie’s precious little daughter and then Ethan and Rachel’s twin boys. They were cute as hell, but they were still smelly, noisy, squirming little humans. But when he imagined his own son or daughter? Something inside him went soft, and eagerness he would have never imagined gripped him.
He stiffened when he heard Maren’s voice catch and then break. Shit. She was crying. He turned in alarm, his gaze seeking her out. Her face was tearstained. Her eyes were red and puffy. But to his relief, she was smiling.
“I’m fine, Mom. I promise. But there’s something I need to tell you.”
Steele tuned in, not even caring if she knew he was listening. It was obvious she was about to give her mother the news of her pregnancy.
Maren took a deep breath. “I’m pregnant, Mom. Almost four months pregnant. No, wait. Give me a chance to explain, please. Calm down. It’s okay. It’s not Tristan Caldwell’s baby.”
Maren closed her eyes and bowed her head, pinching the bridge of her nose between her fingers as she held the phone to her ear with her other hand.
“Mom, stop and listen to me!”
Steele’s eyes widened at the vehemence in her voice.
She took another deep breath and raised her head. She swung around and saw Steele standing a short distance away. She grimaced and rolled her eyes and then put her finger to her temple, mimicking a gun, and pretended to shoot.
“I was already pregnant when I was kidnapped.”
She groaned and closed her eyes again. Then she flopped into one of the chairs.
“I didn’t tell you because I had only just found out myself. I got the test results the day I was kidnapped. I wasn’t holding out, Mom. I didn’t even get a chance to tell the father!”
She glanced up at Steele, nervousness written on her features.
“He’s a good man, Mom. I’m with him now. I’m staying with him for a while. At least until I get my bearings and figure out what I’m going to do next.”
Steele frowned, not liking what he was hearing. Like he was a temporary Band-Aid before she moved on to greener pastures.
“Uh, I don’t know, Mom. I’d have to ask Steele. He’s worried that Tristan Caldwell is watching my family. Steele doesn’t want me exposed.”
She slid the phone away from her mouth. “Steele? Would it be all right if they visit me here?”
Steele walked over, sitting on the couch across from her. “Of course they can. I’ll clear it with Sam to fly them in on the KGI jet and they can fly into Henry County. I’ll pick them up and drive them here.”
Her eyes lit up and her dazzling smile made him want to keep doing things to make her smile again and again.
“Mom, he said it would be okay. He’s going to arrange to fly you in on the company jet. I’ll get in touch as soon as I know the details and we’ll pick you up at the airport.”
There was a brief pause and then, “I love you too, Mom. And I’ll see you soon.”
She put the phone down and to Steele’s surprise, she got up and walked to the couch where he sat. She crawled up next to him and threw her arms around him.
“Thank you,” she said as she squeezed him senseless.
He settled his arms around her, liking her slight weight molded to his body. He pulled until she fell across his lap and he cupped her cheek, rubbing his thumb over her satiny skin.
“You’re welcome. I know you’re anxious to see them and they’re probably frantic to do the same and see for themselves that you’re all right.”
He wasn’t about to let this opportunity pass him by. She was in his arms, their mouths so close he could feel the soft puffs of her breath. He angled his head and moved in, pressing his lips to hers.
He would have never thought he had it in him to be gentle. That wasn’t his style. But the idea of rushing something this important didn’t sit well with him at all.
She let out a breathy sigh and kissed him back. Her tongue toyed playfully with his, licking and tasting, and then she surprised him by becoming the aggressor and deepening the kiss by plunging her tongue forward.
His pulse ratcheted up and his blood ran hot in his veins. His body came to life. His groin tightened and his dick surged in his pants. All over a simple kiss. But it was the combination of having her this close, in his arms, that sweet smile she gave him, and her tongue toying playfully with his.
He wanted her with an intensity that verged on pain. Hell yeah, she was going to be in his bed. Just as soon as he could get her there.
He slid his palm up her leg and then to her belly. He splayed his fingers over her still-flat abdomen and looked down, marveling at the thought that his child lay beneath his hand. Nestled in her womb. A part of him. His blood.
“Can I see it?” he murmured.
Slowly she began to pull up the hoodie, exposing her belly. He smoothed his hand over it, rubbing and caressing the flesh. Her stomach was firmer than before. He could feel the beginnings of a rounded curve, but it was hard, the skin tighter than it had been before. Her body was preparing to stretch to accommodate the growing baby.
“It’s incredible to think there’s a tiny life inside you,” he said gruffly. “A part of us both. I’m glad you don’t regret it, Maren, because it’s the honest-to-God truth that I don’t regret it either. I know I’m not the one who has to carry the baby nine months and then give birth to it, but right here and now I’m not sorry the damn condom failed.”
She cupped his jaw in her palm and stared up at him, her eyes warm and soft. “I’m glad because I’m not sorry either. I’m betting we end up making a beautiful baby.”
“If she’s anything like her mother, that’s guaranteed.”
She smiled. “So when will my parents be able to come? I hate to impose on you even more by letting my family come here, but they’ve been frantic the last few months and they’re determined to see me with their own eyes so they can stop worrying.”
“That’s understandable and you’re not imposing. I don’t blame them for wanting to see you as soon as possible. I’ll talk to Sam about it in the morning. For now I thought we’d relax for the evening and turn in early. We both need some sleep. I have to report in with Sam anyway, so I’ll add commandeering a KGI jet to the list.”
She swallowed visibly and looked suddenly uncertain, her eyes casting downward. Her teeth flashed, sinking into her bottom lip, a sure sign of her agitation. He gently thumbed her lip away and then nudged her chin upward.
“What’s bothering you, Maren?”
She shook her head. “Nothing. Just wondering. It’s stupid, really.”
He cocked his head, curious about what she was thinking. “Tell me.”
To his surprise, she blushed, her cheeks going rosy with color. “I was going to ask where I was going to sleep, but you showed me to the guest room. It was a silly thought.”
He went still, his pulse suddenly thundering in his ears. Then he cupped her face in his hands, forcing her to look directly at him.
“If you’re asking where you can sleep, then yeah, the guest room is all yours. If you’re asking me where I want you to sleep, then the answer is with me. In my bed. But if that’s not what you want, that’s okay. At least for now.”
Relief flashed in her eyes. “I’d like to sleep with you. I mean if that’s okay. I’d just feel safer.”
Her admission tugged at his heart and he stroked his thumbs over the softness of her skin.
“Maren, I’m not going to pretend that you and I haven’t slept together. I’m not going to pretend that we didn’t make a pretty damn powerful connection. I knew it then and I know it now. It’s why I told you I was coming back to you. What we had wasn’t finished. Not by a long shot. It’s merely been delayed. But that’s over now. You’re here with me where you belong. And I want to see where this takes us. We have a tie between us now. Our child. But that’s not the only connection between us, and I think you know that as much as I do. And I don’t want you to ever think that the only reason you’re with me is that you’re pregnant with my baby.”
She leaned into him, wrapping her arms around his neck and then she laid her head on his shoulder. “I’m scared, Steele.”
Her frank admission tore at his chest. He tightened his hold on her and angled his head to kiss the top of hers.
“I’m scared too,” he admitted.
She stiffened and then picked up her head to stare at him in surprise. “I can’t imagine anything ever scaring you.”
“Then you haven’t got a clue what I’ve been through these last weeks, not knowing where you were, if you were hurt, dead, suffering, afraid. The list goes on and on. I was gutted the day Sam told me you’d gone missing, and I haven’t been worth a damn since. Right here and now with you in my arms is the only moment of peace I’ve known since the day I left you and promised to come back. It was a promise I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to keep when I learned what had happened to you.
“And beyond that, the thought of you carrying my child scares the shit out of me. Not because it’s not something I want, but because I know all the things that can go wrong. I know that just because you’re away from Tristan Caldwell now doesn’t mean he won’t come after you. I’m scared I won’t be able to protect you. I’m afraid of what could happen to you and our child. So yeah, I’d say I’m pretty damn scared right now.”
She kissed him, long and deep, her mouth moving sweetly over his. He let her dictate the action, perfectly content to sit back and enjoy what she gave him.
“Never thought I’d feel this way over a woman,” he murmured when she pulled back, her eyes glazed with desire. “Never wanted to.”
“And now?” she asked softly.
“Now I don’t mind at all.”
CHAPTER 28
“YOU need to eat something,” Steele said to Maren as she sat on his lap, snuggled into his arms.