His eyebrows rose. “Anal?”
“Um, yeah. Anal. You’re one of those OCD people who freak out if everything isn’t a certain way. You’re a control freak too. And I’d bet my last dollar you’re also a clean freak and that you have everything in your house organized. I also bet you never forget anything and that your mind is like a steel trap. Stupid pun intended.”
To her amusement, color rose in his cheeks.
“Busted!” she crowed. “That look says everything.”
“Just because I like to lead an orderly existence doesn’t mean that I have some compulsive disorder.”
“Whatever you say,” she said innocently.
“Besides, if you’re all the things you say you are, such as absentminded, klutzy and disorganized? You need me just to even all that out.”
She grinned and leaned down to kiss him again. “Not going to argue that you balance me out quite nicely. But what do I do for you then? I doubt you have the desire to add forgetfulness, disorganization and clumsiness to your well-ordered existence.”
“There’s no doubt you balance me, Maren,” he said, his voice suddenly very serious. “I have fun when I’m with you and I can’t remember the last time I actually had fun with another person. You make me laugh. You give that to me. That makes you very special and what you offer me very precious.”
“Well, damn,” she murmured. “I don’t even know what to say to that.”
“Guess we’ll add speechlessness to your list of faults,” he said.
She smacked his chest and then rolled off the bed. “Guess I’ll wear the same stuff I had on last night.”
“I put out a clean pair of sweats and a new shirt for you in the bathroom,” he said. “After breakfast we’ll go shopping for some clothes for you before we run the rest of our errands.”
“Errands?”
“Yeah. We’re going to buy you clothes and then we’re heading out to the KGI compound. On the way back, we’ll stop off and get groceries so nothing goes bad. Think you’re up to something so domestic as grocery shopping? You’ll need to get all your feminine stuff too, like shampoo, toothbrush and whatever else it is women must have to survive. And do you need to see an eye doctor to get new glasses? Are they prescription? Or can we just pick up something at the pharmacy? I know they won’t be ideal, but maybe it would work until we can get you something better.”
“They are prescription,” she said. “But it can wait. Really. I’m not working right now, and that’s when I needed them the most.”
“I like them on you,” he said gruffly. “And I don’t want to think about you going without the things you need, even for a minute.”
She smiled and then her brow furrowed as a much more pressing concern pushed its way to the forefront.
“Steele, do you think you could check into a local obstetrician? I haven’t had the first checkup since finding out I’m pregnant. I’m sure everything is okay, but I’d sure like to have the peace of mind of having a doctor oversee the care of this baby.”
His gaze softened. “Already ahead of you. I talked to Sam this morning to get the names of the doctors that Sophie and Rachel saw.”
Her mouth rounded into an O. “You told him I’m pregnant?”
He sent her a puzzled look. “Well, yeah. They’ll all find out later today when I tell them.”
Her cheeks warmed and she warred with pleasure and self-consciousness. On one hand, it gave her a giddy thrill that Steele was so openly embracing fatherhood, but on the other hand, she dreaded the looks and stares from the others. They’d have a hard enough time picturing the badass team leader as a daddy, but then they’d look at her and wonder how the hell the two of them ever hooked up to begin with.
“Um, how did he react to that piece of news?” she asked.
Steele shrugged. “He gave me the names of obstetricians and said there is a clinic in Murray, Kentucky, that both women have used. I didn’t tell him it was my baby, just that you’re pregnant. They’ll all find that out soon enough.”
She groaned and closed her eyes. “Oh God, Steele. He’ll probably draw the same conclusion that you initially did and think Caldwell forced himself on me and got me pregnant.”
Steele scowled. “It was a logical assumption at the time. And if that’s what he thinks, he won’t say anything. Sam’s not one to throw around personal information. I trust him more than I trust just about anyone else.”
She studied him thoughtfully. “I bet you don’t trust many people at all, do you?”
His brow furrowed. “You say that like it’s a bad thing.”
“Not saying it’s good or bad. Just an assessment.”
“I trust my team, otherwise I wouldn’t have them under my command. I trust Sam, Garrett and Donovan, otherwise I wouldn’t work for them. I trust Rio and his team as well. I may not always like working with them, but I know they have my back and they know I have theirs.”
She cocked her head to the side. “I’ve witnessed you and Rio at odds on several occasions. Why don’t you like each other?”
“I wouldn’t say we’re at odds. We’re just competitive. He thinks his team is the best. I know my team is the best. I don’t like or dislike him. I don’t feel strongly about him one way or another. He’s someone I have to work with and so a certain amount of civility is called for. Anything beyond that isn’t needed for the job to get done.”
She laughed and shook her head. “That is so something a guy would say.”
“In case it escaped your notice, I’m a guy.”
She slipped her hand between them and cupped his groin, giving it a light squeeze. His cock hardened immediately against her fingers.
“Oh, I think I’ve noticed,” she said.
“You’ve got about two seconds to move your hand or you’re going to be on your back with me inside you in five.”
She kissed him, giving him one more light squeeze. “That’s hardly a deterrent,” she murmured.
Then she pushed off him and scooted off the bed, leaving him staring after her.
As she dressed, she felt him watching and when she looked back, he was regarding her lazily, a thoughtful gleam in his eyes.
“Do I even want to know what you’re thinking?” she asked.
“I like that you don’t play games,” he said bluntly.
Her eyebrows went up. “What does that mean exactly?”
“You say it straight. You aren’t afraid to admit things even if you’re unsure of the reaction or if what you want is reciprocated. I like that you don’t play coy and that you seem to be as into me as I’m into you. There’s no guessing with you and I like that. It’s pretty damn refreshing.”
“You’re ‘into’ me?” she breathed. “I know you like me. I know you’re attracted to me. But for some reason, the way you said that just made it sound so much more serious. I like it. The way you said it. I’m going to savor those words for a while.”
He pushed up to his elbow, his gaze heated as it roamed up and down her body. “Yeah, I’m into you, Maren. I’m in deep and I don’t see any way out for a very long time. I hope to hell you’re in this with me because if not, things are going to get way messy.”
“If I was any more into you, I’d never find my way out,” she whispered.
“That’s not a bad thing from my point of view. I wouldn’t care if you got lost. As long as you were lost with me.”
“I’ve never had a conversation with a guy like this,” she said ruefully. “It kind of freaks me out in an oh-my-God way. A good way. I just don’t want to screw it up, Steele. I’m still figuring out my feelings for you, but I’ve been attracted to you for a very long time.”
She broke off and stared back at him, scared shitless to say the thing uppermost on her mind. But he liked that she was open. She just hoped she wasn’t being too open.
“I could so see myself falling in love with you,” she whispered. “But you need to tell me, Steele. Tell me if that’s not something I should let happen. I’m making myself vulnerable to you and you swore to protect me. I know that means physically, but I’ve exposed something to you I’ve never exposed to anyone else. My heart. And you have to swear to protect that too.”
He pushed off the bed and walked toward her, his eyes glinting with determination, the blue fierce around the black of his pupils. He palmed her face in his hands, holding her firmly in place as his lips descended to take possession of hers.
“Let me make this really damn easy for you, Maren. What I’m about to tell you I’ve never told—never felt—for another human being except my parents. I’m giving you something I’ve never given another person outside my family. If that doesn’t make me vulnerable to you, then I don’t know what does.”
“What?” she whispered.
“I’m pretty damn sure I’m already in love with you.”
Her eyes widened until she had to blink against the discomfort. “Really?”
“Yeah, really. I’ve never been in love before. I don’t know what it feels like. But if it feels like I’ve been gutted and ripped in two because you’re missing and I have no idea where the hell you are and if you’re hurt or afraid, then yeah, I’d say I’m in love with you. Or if it feels like I don’t ever want to be away from you, even for a few minutes, and that I want to spend every day of my life making sure you have everything you’ve ever wanted. Or maybe love is feeling like I’ve been handed the most precious gift anyone has ever given me because you’re here in my arms and you’re pregnant with my child.”
Tears made her vision completely blurry and she hastily wiped at her eyes, colliding with Steele’s hands, which were still firmly cupping her cheeks.
“Oh God, Steele, I think I love you too.”
He pulled her into his arms, crushing her against him. “Thank fuck I’m not the only one drowning here.”
“What do we do now?” she whispered.
He laughed against her, his chest rumbling with the effort. “Well, right now we’re going to go eat breakfast and afterward I’m taking you shopping for some clothes. And if that doesn’t say I love you, I don’t know what does. I don’t go shopping for anyone.”
CHAPTER 30
AFTER shopping for maternity clothes—Maren knew she wouldn’t be in normal sizes for much longer—Steele stuffed her purchases into the back of his SUV and they drove toward the Kelly compound.
It had been a while since Maren had last visited KGI on their home turf. Not since she’d traveled here to care for Nathan’s wife, Shea, when she’d undergone so much trauma.
She was impressed by the progress. Construction was nearing completion. All that was left was to finish the airstrip and then they would no longer have to use the Henry County airfield where the Kelly jets were currently hangared.
“Are all the houses completed?” she asked as they drove through what now resembled a miniature army base.
“There’s a spot for Marlene and Frank to build their house, but so far Marlene has managed to stall and she and Frank are remaining where they are. Sam doesn’t like it, but there’s not much he can do short of bodily moving them.”
“What about Donovan and Joe?”
“Still living in Sam’s old house on the lake. Donovan has actually broken ground on his house, but he’s taking his time and it’s been slow going. I don’t think he’s in a hurry. And Joe hasn’t even started. He’s pretty happy where he is.”
“Bet they’ll change their minds when they meet the right woman,” she murmured.
“A few months ago I would have disagreed,” he said ruefully. “Now, not so much.”
She smiled at him. He was cute in his befuddlement. But she had to hand it to him. He was taking their relationship—or whatever the hell it was they had—very well. He hadn’t seemed to fight it at all, though she had no idea what had gone on in his mind, especially when she’d been missing for so many weeks.
Maybe in that time he’d come to terms with his feelings for her. It had definitely solidified things in her mind. But then she’d already fallen hard and fast from the very first night they’d spent together.
“I’d love to see Rachel and the babies while I’m here,” she said. “Do you think she and Ethan would mind if I stopped by?”
“I don’t think they’d mind at all. We’ve all been worried sick about you, Maren. Everyone is going to be very relieved, and happy, to see you. You’re important to us all.”
Her cheeks warmed at the glowing compliment. It was nice to be regarded so highly. She counted them as friends—good friends—and it was nice to hear that they counted her the same.