“Have you ever even held a baby?” she challenged.
“I could have learned.”
True. He was brilliant, and helpless was the last word she’d ever use to describe him.
“Or I could have hired someone qualified to help you. I might not have any experience with kids, but I’ve got a fortune.”
Gia knew that. She’d even thought of asking him for monetary help at the time, but… “I didn’t expect you to take on my family crisis. It wasn’t your responsibility.”
His mouth tightened. “You are my responsibility. As your husband, your problems are my problems. Instead of giving them to me, you shut me out and shouldered everything yourself. Stubborn, independent…” He clenched his jaw. “You’re making my palm itch.”
She hadn’t allowed herself to think about how much she’d missed his discipline, his touch. Now, her womb clenched. Her clit throbbed. Her heart ached.
“Who’s been taking care of you?” he demanded. “The bags under your eyes suggest you never sleep through the night any more. Your loose clothing tells me you’ve dropped fifteen pounds you didn’t have to lose. Your hair has grown at least three inches, as if you haven’t had time to cut it. You have a broken fingernail and a shoe that needs resoling. I’m going to guess your pedicure is months old, as is the wax job on your pussy.”
Gia gasped. Jason had always been observant, but his attention to her every detail left her speechless.
He leaned closer, intent. “Stop acting as if I don’t know you. I see you. Just like I see that no one has given a shit about you in the last year as I would have.”
She couldn’t refute him. God knew she’d been horrifically lonely. She’d missed Jason so damn much that sometimes the pangs had been every bit as wracking as the physical ache of withdrawal.
“A million times, I stared at my phone, needing so badly to hear your voice.” She’d yearned for his steadiness and calm control to soothe her.
“But you didn’t,” he bit out.
“Between work and caring for the children, I didn’t have anything left to give. I knew that wasn’t fair to you. I couldn’t take without giving back. Besides…” How did she put this into words that he’d understand? “Some nights, I’d rock Bella to sleep, tuck Tony Jr. in, then spend half the night trying to reach Mila, but she’d just lie pitifully on a mountain of pillows in her bed and stare out the window as if her world had fallen apart, refusing to speak. Guilt crushed me. Why should I have what my heart desired when everyone around me was suffering so much?”
“You felt guilty for wanting to be happy?”
“That’s part of it. The other part…” She teared up. “What if I hadn’t been in Vegas with you that night? I probably would have heard about the shoot out sooner. He called for backup.”
“You weren’t on duty that night.”
“But maybe I could have gotten there—”
“That’s a lot of ‘what ifs’ and ‘mights,’ and you’ll never know the answer. Stop beating yourself up for failing to prevent what you couldn’t foresee.”
“I’ve told myself that logically. But I can’t seem to get past the feeling that I let Tony, Mila, my parents, and the kids down.” Gia pressed her lips together to hold tears at bay. After nearly a year, she’d hoped the grief would abate, but she still felt her brother’s absence every single day.
On the other hand, she’d be lying if she said that missing Jason hadn’t compounded her sorrow.
Her husband reached across the table and grabbed her hand. “You’ve endured a lot this year. If you thought you were saving me, you thought wrong. I would have been there for you. We would have faced it together.”
His tender, emphatic words nearly undid her. Tears stung her eyes.
All these months, she’d felt horrible about cutting him from her life, but tried to tell herself she’d done it for his own good. Now… Had she done him a terrible disservice? After all, he’d always seen to her welfare. On their trip to Vegas, he’d treated her like his queen. Maybe he would have stood beside her and found some way to deal with the kids and the chaos. Maybe.
But Jason had betrayed her, too.
The waiter came by and took their drink orders. For a moment, they perused the menus. Gia wasn’t hungry. In fact, she hadn’t had an appetite all day. Her nerves about this meeting had been eating her up inside. Still, she knew from experience that Jason would insist on feeding her. In the past, he never let her skip a meal. God, she’d missed his exacting care.
By the time she yanked herself from her thoughts, the waiter was setting down their drinks and asking what they’d like to eat. Gia ordered a taco salad, then sipped at her iced tea. Jason frowned and ordered fajitas. After the waiter read back their order, he departed. The sounds around the restaurant nipped at their cocoon, but silence hovered between them.
Gia broke it. “I should have explained everything sooner. I was lost and bottled up. I’m sorry I left you hanging. I was honestly trying to figure out how I could be with you again in some way without my problems swallowing your whole life. Then your phone calls to the brass forced me to ride a desk. After that, I was just furious.”
“You weren’t communicating, and I needed answers. Once I got them, there was no way I was going to let you put yourself in the path of your brother’s killer. I understand you were grieving. You were angry at the world and wanted revenge. You wanted to bring this thug down for your parents and your sense of justice.”
Gia sat back. Sometimes, she wondered if Jason knew her at all. Other times, like now, he understood her so perfectly that he scared her.
“As a husband, I was worried. As your Dom, I was giving you hard boundaries the fastest way I could.”
“You jeopardized my ability to support my family,” she accused.
“I would have taken care of them.” He clipped every word insistently.
“But they’re my responsibility.”
“Don’t start that again. We’ve covered that ground.”
“Fine. You blemished my career.”
“No.” He narrowed his eyes at her. “I brought your actions to light. You made the choice to go after that scumbag all on your own.”
“Someone has to. And thanks to you, I’m still stuck behind a desk,” she spit, her anger clawing its way up from her belly to her chest.
“You’re still alive,” he countered, sitting back and crossing his arms.
His stare assessed her, his irritation vibrating in the air between them. How could she be so angry with him at the same time she yearned to fall to her knees and obey his every illicit command?
“And Tony will never have justice. A killer is still on the loose. My brother’s children will never really know their father. My parents won’t ever be complete again. My sister-in-law doesn’t say a word, but I know she’s tormented that I haven’t caught Ricky Wayman and made him pay for Tony’s murder.”
Not that Gia had given up. More than once, she’d gone to the thug’s crime-ridden neighborhood alone to seek out Ricky. She didn’t plan to stop until she brought him in. Confessing that to Jason wouldn’t be smart. At this point, she didn’t know exactly what his reaction would be, but she didn’t think it would be pleasant or accepting.
“What if you got yourself killed? How would your parents take that? What would your sister-in-law do without you?” he challenged.
She couldn’t quite meet his gaze. “Since I’m in no danger of being on the streets anytime soon, I guess it’s not an issue.”
Jason sent her a hard stare. “You’re safe.”
“I feel useless.”
“I would still make those same phone calls again.” He grabbed his beer and took a long swallow before setting the bottle far too carefully on the table. “What do you want to happen next? With us, I mean.”
Now came the conversation she’d dreaded and feared, but they had to air this out. “I’m assuming you want a divorce.”
She hadn’t been any sort of wife to him, so that seemed logical.
Instead, he just looked pissed off. “You’re assuming?”
“We can’t go on this way.”
“Finally. Something we agree on.” He leaned in again, elbow braced on the table as his stare snared hers. “So I’m going to give you a choice: Spend between now and our anniversary with me—and I mean twenty-four/seven with me, in every fucking way I deem. If the twenty-fourth rolls around and you still want a divorce, file. I won’t fight you. In fact, I’ll not only honor the terms of our prenuptial agreement, but I’ll give you the amount stipulated if we’d remained married five years. If you want a divorce now, I’m filing tomorrow, and you get nothing.” He raised a brow at her. “Decide.”
Gia sucked in a breath at his proposition. “This instant?”
“The offer is only good for the next ten minutes.”
She’d always known that Jason played hardball, but she hadn’t expected him to use those skills on her. The prince she’d fallen in love with wasn’t trying to reconcile with her, but control and punish her.
“So you’re trying to coerce me into bed for a little revenge, or do you just want to work me out of your system?”
He shrugged. “My motivation is irrelevant. I merely asked you to make a choice.”
Gia’s immediate instinct was to tell him to shove his choice up his ass. She couldn’t be bought, no matter how rich and powerful he was. On the other hand, her conscience wouldn’t allow her to turn her back on him again. Besides, the two hundred fifty thousand dollars he dangled in front of her face could change her entire life. All she had to do was give the man she loved slightly less than three weeks of her time.
It wasn’t exactly a nightmare scenario—except for the part where he probably ended up crushing her heart at the end. Maybe she deserved it. Jason might not admit it, but she knew she’d hurt him this past year. If having her under his thumb for a few weeks enabled him to move on after they ended, she owed him that.
“I’ll come with you.” She’d figure out what to do about work, what to say to her parents, how to make sure Mila and the kids had the help they needed.
A satisfied little smile danced across his lips. “Excellent. Present yourself at my condo tomorrow at precisely six p.m. Arrive wearing no more than three garments and a pair of high heels. Pick whichever three you want, but if I have to peel off more than that before I fuck you, we’ll start with punishment.”
Shock whiplashed her. He’d always been direct, but his sharp command, followed by the declaration that he intended to take her to bed, both made her mad and frothed up her libido. She hadn’t had sex since their wedding night. She hadn’t even had energy or privacy for masturbation. Though her long-denied sex drive wasn’t at all upset about his demands, her head knew that his proposition was riddled with land mines. Eventually, this would blow up in her face.
Still, she couldn’t possibly refuse.
“Fine.”
Neither of them said a word more until the waiter set their food down. Even the smell of Jason’s sizzling fajitas didn’t rouse her appetite for food. Another sort of hunger plagued her. Why should she want him so much when he was being a ruthless bastard? Because she’d always found that side of him hot, and Gia’s own excitement now pissed her off.
He thanked the waiter, then turned back to her. “If work presents a problem for the next few weeks, I’ll make the necessary phone calls.”
“Of course you will,” she drawled.
He ignored her jibe. “Does your sister-in-law need a nurse or a nanny during your absence? If so, I’ll provide it. I have no desire to leave them in a bind.”
Guilt stabbed her. Gia softened. “Thank you. That’s generous of you.”
“Not at all. I don’t want you spending our time together thinking about anyone else.”
Of course not. And Jason was used to getting his way.
Gia stifled her guilt. “I’ll talk to Mila tonight.”
“Whatever she needs so she can manage without you for a few weeks, she’ll get. Are we understood?”
The concept wasn’t difficult. Jason had bought her until November twenty-fourth, and she’d let him. Though she’d chosen this path of her own free will, it made her feel dirty. “Yes.”
He nodded at her. Then the conversation ceased, and he dug into his food. Gia stared at her salad. Her stomach roiled too much to take a bite. She picked at the greens and plucked at the grilled chicken, thinking about tomorrow night. How long would it take him to wholly own her body and heart again? An hour, or could she actually manage to hold out an entire night?
“You’re not eating.”